What Counts As Clear Relaxation + What Does not

That is Half 4 of my 5-Half Clear Relaxation Sequence. There’s one mindset shift each perfectionist entrepreneur must make about clear relaxation:

Clear relaxation that doesn’t really feel good continues to be clear relaxation.

Even once you’re feeling bored, stressed, agitated, or such as you “ought to” be doing one thing extra productive… it nonetheless counts.

Clear relaxation isn’t about at all times feeling peaceable, recharged or impressed. Generally it can really feel that manner. However different occasions, it’ll really feel uncomfortable. You would possibly end up itching to test your emails or excited about every part you “ought to” be doing as a substitute. And that’s fully regular.

You’re a human, not a machine. You’re not presupposed to really feel joyful or motivated 100% of the time. And in the event you’re judging the standard of your relaxation based mostly on the way it feels, that perfectionist considering is sneaking in by way of the again door – making you overthink your break day and work more durable to “relaxation the suitable manner.”

This episode is a training name with PGSDer Jenna the place we dive into all of this: what truly counts as clear relaxation, what doesn’t, and why it’s nonetheless precious even when it doesn’t really feel good. We discuss in regards to the discomfort that may come up once you’re studying to let your self really relaxation, and the way clear relaxation helps you in working in direction of your online business objectives with out burning your self out.

If you happen to’ve been attempting to “do relaxation proper,” or solely enable your self break day once you’ve earned it, this episode is precisely what you must hear.

Perfectionists Getting Shit Achieved is opening for enrollment on 4 April for one week solely.
If you happen to’re able to get out of your personal manner in your online business, you wish to be a part of my productiveness program for perfectionists who’re constructing companies referred to as Perfectionists Getting Shit Achieved. Click on right here to seek out out extra about this system and be a part of the waitlist in the present day: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Enrollment is opening for one week solely from 4 to 11 April 2025.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Introduction

Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Mission. A podcast stuffed with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My identify is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own manner and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the perfectionist getting shit achieved group teaching program, which is in any other case generally known as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your online business, you possibly can comply with me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.

Sam Laura Brown
This episode is the fourth half in my 5 half collection on clear relaxation, I hope you’ve got been having fun with it. And this collection can be an invite to hitch PGSD as is each episode of this podcast. That’s the place you possibly can take this work to a deeper stage, you possibly can grasp it, follow it, embody it, and never simply intellectually perceive these ideas about perfectionism and planning, and learn how to get out of your personal manner, however to truly be dwelling them and doing the issues that you understand you must do to construct your online business.

So I wish to invite you into PGSD, the doorways are opening at 6am, New York time on the 4th of April, and shutting at 11:59pm, New York time on the eleventh of April. So if you wish to discover out extra about PGSD, and you aren’t but on the PGSD waitlist, I encourage you to go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. That’s the place you’ll find out extra about it, the funding, all of that type of data, you possibly can put your identify on the waitlist, and also you’ll be the primary to know when the doorways open. So that you don’t miss the enrollment interval. We’re strict with that. And we don’t enable individuals to enroll after the doorways are closed.

So I wish to just remember to find out about it, and that you’ll be able to get ready if you must so that you could be a part of us in the course of the week that we’re open. And you may plan correctly as a perfectionist, comply with by way of your plans, relaxation with out guilt and repeat that’s the PGSD course of. It’s a course of for making a development mindset is the method for getting out of your personal manner in your online business or displaying up absolutely and creating the success that you understand you deserve.

So on this episode, I’m going to be sharing a snippet with permission a PGSD teaching name that I did inside PGSD. With considered one of our PGSDers Jenna. As I discussed, she has given permission for me to share this on the podcast I’m so grateful that she has as a result of I do know that what we cowl on this teaching name goes to essentially show you how to to grasp clear relaxation at a deeper stage. And to essentially get that clear relaxation. Like sure, we wish to be specializing in growing that capacity to relaxation with out feeling responsible.

And sure, relaxation is restorative. But additionally simply since you aren’t feeling recharged after you relaxation. That doesn’t imply that you just aren’t getting clear relaxation, proper? And that you just’re not adequate at clear relaxation and that it doesn’t depend. We have to be actually beneficiant with ourselves for what counts as clear relaxation. And I would like you to be considering particularly to start with as you enter this follow of fresh relaxation to be excited about clear resting time that you’re deliberately deciding you gained’t work on the enterprise. It’s a no go for enterprise stuff.

And to not overthink once you’re asking, are you feeling responsible? Or not? Does that depend once you’ve been productive or not? Does that depend as clear relaxation? Are you feeling recharged? Does that depend as clear relaxation like Sure, get inquisitive about what sort of est does really feel greatest to you. And use energy planning to do this. However on the similar time, to not use clear relaxation as a instrument in opposition to your self. So on this teaching name, we discover what counts as clear relaxation and what doesn’t. And I actually hope you discover it useful, I’ve a superb feeling that you’ll. So thanks to Jenna for giving me permission to share this.

And yeah, right here is the excerpt of Oh, truly, I simply wish to point out too, in case you’re questioning PGSD we do weekly teaching calls. And as I discussed, this can be a portion of one of many teaching calls. And that is the place you’re actually in a position to get assist. And in addition not identical to you being supported personally that you’ll get that. But additionally we’ve the PGSD personal podcast the place you possibly can hearken to replay recordings on the go and actually simply have like in the event you love this podcast, it’s actually like that.

However all teaching calls and also you’re going to listen to different PGSDers who’re additionally perfectionist entrepreneurs which might be additionally doing this work. And they’re even when they’re on the opposite facet of the world. And even when they’ve a totally completely different type of enterprise, you’ll be capable to see your self in them and listening to them getting coached is initially simply going to be so relieving since you actually begin just like the extra PGSDers you hear getting coach, the an increasing number of you be like, Ah, it’s not simply me.

Like there’s that title of the Brene Brown e-book like I assumed it was simply me however it isn’t like that’s the way you’re going to really feel once you hearken to all these teaching calls. If you happen to don’t already really feel that manner from this podcast, and in the event you do, you’re going to really feel much more that manner. Take heed to the personal podcast, however it’s so highly effective to listen to others getting coached and seeing like not simply studying the ideas and that type of factor that I talked about on the podcast, however actually seeing what it seems to be like in follow and the issues that come up and getting the nuance of it, and with the ability to navigate by way of what it seems to be like so that you can plan correctly. And that’s going to look completely different to everybody else.

And what are your needle movers and what’s your development purpose, and identical to all this stuff that come up alongside the best way, as we’re constructing our enterprise and getting out of our personal manner, and creating that development mindset, and build up our, you understand, resilience, and failure, tolerance, and all these various things, that simply having a few of you possibly can flip to the place individuals get one is wish to be a perfectionist, they don’t type of take a look at you humorous, or no matter that they like, they love enterprise, they love private growth, they get you they perceive you and we create such a secure house, I’m so pleased with it, that we do that, which you can actually come to a training name.

And you may really feel so secure sharing issues that you just could be embarrassed to share sharing the ups and the downs of your online business journey, as a result of inevitably, there can be ups and downs. And that’s all regular. And the calls are actually a possibility for you too, as I say, get that sense of aid, like oh, it’s not simply me. And that’s going to take away a lot disgrace, which goes to make it a lot simpler to indicate up in your online business. And also you’re going to have the ability to get the personalised tweaks and like, you’re going to have a mirror held as much as you in the absolute best manner.

As a result of all of us have blind spots like for this reason I’m in a mastermind like all of us have issues that we will’t see like once we’re environment friendly water, we will’t see our personal mind. And even in the event you’re actually nice at recognizing it in different individuals, you continue to want somebody that will help you see your mind. In order that’s why I actually wish to encourage you to enroll in PGSD and be a part of us in there. As a result of it’s actually going that will help you embody what I’ve been speaking about with this collection. And have you ever planning correctly so you possibly can create that development mindset.

And actually, it’s about like, I wish to offer you entry to the instruments that may get you out of your personal manner. And I simply wish to ensure you find out about it, you’re invited in you possibly can think about what it might be wish to be in there. And so by sharing this teaching name, I hope it provides you an thought of what the teaching calls are like, additionally a little bit of an thought of who else is inside PGSD and particularly the content material of the teaching name on this occasion, particularly what counters clear relaxation and what doesn’t. So with that mentioned, benefit from the episode.

Jenna
Okay, so I observed this sample that occurred this previous week. So final week, I had like, Monday by way of Friday, identical to feeling so good. My manner I’m getting a lot achieved like increase, increase, I’m updating my iCal, like, yeah, my iCal, you understand, placing all these checkmarks in like, increase, increase, take a look at me, like making choices within the second of like, what’s aligned and like additionally getting shit achieved, increase, increase, increase. I’m not gonna say there was no clear relaxation, as a result of, you understand, not all or nothing, however like, there was like 10% or much less of fresh relaxation.

So, and I bear in mind considering, in direction of the top of the week, I bear in mind considering like, oh, I can’t watch for Saturday, which now I spotted was me, my mind being like, I can’t watch for clear relaxation. I didn’t notice that till proper now in the course of the name. However anyway, so it was like I had all this I put all this in my thoughts for Saturday, Saturday, I’m gonna relaxation lastly Saturday, I’m gonna get to relaxation. After which Saturday got here. I don’t know if it was Friday night time or Saturday.

However level being is I like I broke. And I don’t actually know learn how to describe it. However I simply I might really feel it inside me. Like I felt the shift inside me of like, hastily the world is rather like, every part irritates me, every part feels prefer it’s going to be the top, you understand, getting in arguments feeling like I’ve to enter the health club and I’ve to have the most effective exercise as a result of it must be like, good. I’ve to be ok with this as a result of this Saturday was presupposed to be my day of like, rejuvenating myself.

And so it’s been like that for the previous 4 days. So now we’re at Tuesday and I’m like in the present day I began shifting out of that emotions. I listened to the clear relaxation. I submitted to get coached about clear relaxation after which I listened to the the modules on clear relaxation in the present day. So I’m like, like in the present day lastly I’m like, beginning to take some motion steps however it’s severely been like Saturday, Sunday, Monday of identical to, like on the sting.

And I really feel like for my part, that’s clear relaxation and I additionally really feel prefer it’s a sample in my lifetime of like, I’ll do like most likely that I simply had even a few weeks in the past. And I feel I’ve been calling it like, Oh, it’s my cycle. It’s my cycle, which I imply, there might be some affect there. However I feel I’ve been simply dismissing it like that. And now I’m like, one thing’s occurring, as a result of I do that excessive influence week of being excited and going by way of.

After which the next week, I’m like, I actually need to do clear relaxation. I’m not committing to wash relaxation, like, see, Jenna, for this reason you want clear relaxation. Like this was your lesson. This was what you realized final week of like, how vital clear relaxation is and oh, nice, now you’re gonna do clear relaxation, and such as you’re balanced it out. After which I do clear relaxation for like, every week or no matter. After which again once more. So I get Yeah, so it’s like one thing in that like getting coached and like one thing in that world.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. So I like how this occurs. Like, that is precisely what I’ve been speaking about originally of this teaching name, the way it’s like this perception that clear relaxation entitles you to feeling good. And in the event you might simply get it’s type of like, so if I simply did my work early, then I’d be extra profitable. After which we like maintain ourselves aside from doing the work early. So we will consider like, properly, I’d really feel higher if I simply did it early. After which if we do get it achieved early.

So in your case, in the event you do do the clear relaxation, and it’s like this stress of like, properly, I ought to really feel good now as a result of I’m getting clear relaxation. And it’s identical to, it’s so fascinating how this mindset like this sort of entitlement, if we wish to name it that comes up of like, properly, I like I must be getting like I must be feeling good after I’m getting clear relaxation. And so I’ve to love drive myself and my clear relaxation to really feel good. However plenty of occasions like I had the entire week final week, having like clear relaxation clearly was like taking care of my daughter and doing different issues inside that. However there have been some days I used to be like, I’m identical to in a complete funk.

And like that can be clear relaxation. It’s not like clear relaxation is simply once we really feel like Oh, I’m so rejuvenated and recharged like this ebbs and flows, there’s gonna be occasions the place you’re like having clear relaxation, and also you don’t really feel wonderful. And it’s nonetheless price having the clear relaxation, and it nonetheless is clear relaxation. And in addition, I simply wish to point out, too, that after I informed him I like once we clear up for this false downside, I’m not saying that our cycle like that’s a false downside, like taking a look at your menstrual cycle and that type of factor. Nevertheless it’s fascinating to ask like, okay, perhaps there’s some affect out of your cycle.

But when it wasn’t your cycle, what might it’s? If it wasn’t that, you understand, getting the work achieved early or late is the factor that’s inflicting it? What might it’s? And that’s once we can actually begin trying like for Chris and like, properly, if it wasn’t that the dearth of consistency was an issue earlier than. And so now I’m constant, I must be extra profitable, what might it’s, after which we will actually begin to examine. So once we take a look at this, what I truly wish to do is take a look at the way you’re considering all through that like excessive influence week.

As a result of I feel it’s much less about like, what’s occurring come Saturday than that, that’s type of only a symptom of the way you’re excited about your self and your work and every part throughout that like excessive influence week to the purpose to that’s like, we want a break. This isn’t sustainable that and like we wish to be once we’re getting shit achieved. We wish to be feeling like targeted and clear. And like sure, it’s generally challenged and bored and all these issues. However once we’re feeling like I simply can’t watch for like this future time the place I’m going to really feel higher.

Like we’ve clear relaxation in order that we’ve an finish to that and our mind is aware of this like reprieve from focus is coming. Nevertheless it’s a little bit like alarm bell once we’re considering of this, like occurred to me in the course of the launch, like a one of many days notably like I’m eager for this to be over which I hadn’t been considering I used to be like, Oh, that’s actually like, how am I considering in the present day? Like, what are the ideas I’m having in the present day? It’s so useful to even assume like, as a substitute of it’s this entire sample, identical to what what are the ideas you having that day?

Oh, there’s one thing about how I’m excited about in the present day that I’m coming from a spot of like inadequacy or like having for me it was like having to show like I used to be attempting to show to myself with a launch that I can hit my objectives and that I might flip a launch round or no matter that that like proving something that comes from like when my approving attempting to show one thing to ourselves or to different individuals is exhausting.

And naturally we’re like I can’t fucking watch for a break. Whereas we will nonetheless be targeted and looking out ahead to the break. But additionally not on this manner the place we’re like telling ourselves life’s gonna be so good once we get there we’re gonna really feel so a lot better on this I can’t say on this however I’m like getting shit achieved and so good. So for you want let’s go into that your… When was your excessive influence week if you wish to name it that final week like beginning Monday?

Jenna
Yeah, so like final Monday to Friday.

Sam Laura Brown
Okay, inform me a number of the ideas you’re having on Monday. In regards to the week like that is going to be so productive. Like, what have been you considering? Usually? How are you feeling in regards to the week?

Jenna
Um, oh my God, I don’t know, that appears like a lifetime in the past. However I’ve prefer it yeah, popping out of this sense of like, I’m doing so properly that I’ve to carry on to this. And like, take a look at me, I’m doing so properly. I want extra of like, like that…

Sam Laura Brown
I’ve to maintain doing like…

Jenna
Transferring so sure. Like, like, See, see, that is who I’m like I can. That is like, makes me consider like what you say about how we used to need and like fastened mindset you need it easy like see I can do that. And it will probably’t it’s easy. It’s like, I really feel prefer it was that feeling. And identical to I stored desirous to be like, “See, see, see”, I can do that. I can do that. I can do that. So it was like, so yeah, that’s what I really feel like that was like, even like extra so than on the forefront of my thoughts and extra of a like a driving drive.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And that is sensible. Like, it’s once we’re in that proving power. And yeah, like earlier in our journey with all of this, it will probably come up as like, this completely different type of taste of it. Like, I’m not that individual. And so I must grow to be that individual. And we’re attempting to love show it. Whereas now you’re like, nonetheless type of like on that journey bit additional alongside. And now you’re like, Nicely, I’m that individual, however you’re not absolutely but within the self picture of that. So that you’re like, properly, now I’ve to show to myself that that is who I’m, and that I can keep it.

After which it’s this, such as you’re utilizing your weak and the way you present up as a option to show and I talked about this in these episodes as properly, like so many issues, however proving to your self that you’re that type of individual as a substitute of simply approaching your week as being that individual and understanding that that one that does comply with by way of and is constant can be going to have seasons ebbs and flows like good days and dangerous days, so to talk. Like we’re people, we’ve brains.

They’re not like we’re not robots. And so once we’re utilizing our week to show to ourselves that sure, we’re productive and take a look at me go and I’m Energy Planning, I’m getting shit achieved. After all, our mind is like, properly, that is exhausting, as a result of I simply really feel like I’ve to carry out this entire, like I’m simply type of having to love, play.

It’s like so a lot of them pleasing, performing, perfecting that Brene Brown talks about like, that’s all occurring. And so, yeah, then we’re like, oh, we wish to have clear relaxation. However then that brings up like, once you strategy your week, with this proving mentality, then that like trickles into how we strategy clear relaxation. And it’s type of like he took that very same strategy of like, see, I can clear relaxation now. And like, it must be like this matter in clear relaxation.

Jenna
I even like my clear relaxation final week, I used to be like, Oh, I realized this week throughout my clear relaxation I didn’t have throughout my clear relaxation. I didn’t have relaxation. However I realized a lesson. I realized that I must have like determination lists, actions or no matter. So I like even that I made it productive.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and so like, it’s actually vital when like speaking about productiveness and clear relaxation, in the event you do one thing productive in clear relaxation time. We don’t wish to be like, Oh, that’s dangerous, I want to love simply, you understand, sit down and do nothing. And that’s clear relaxation. It’s like, after I was taking my clear rise, I used to be like cleansing out the cabinets in the home and like organizing that and like, like I used to be doing issues. And I used to be additionally like studying the e-book and different stuff like that, or like simply feeling like in a funk and not likely doing something. And I watched like 10 episodes of promoting sundown and like all of the issues. So it’s not like once we’re taking clear relaxation, it must be this like good nonproductive energizing type of expertise.

And I feel, I feel perhaps it was Chris and I’ve teaching this earlier than, like once we type of have these guidelines round clear res which might be very inflexible and strict and slender. And we expect like solely these sure issues are clear relaxation and what you’re excited about is like and I’ve to really feel a sure manner for it to be a clear relaxation. Like I’ve to be feeling good. Like once we can acknowledge generally I’m simply going to really feel like like in a little bit of a blob temper and that’s nonetheless clear relaxation like, if we give it some thought as a substitute like the primary layer I suppose with training clear relaxation is like there’s enterprise time and there’s non enterprise time.

So then we will begin to be like, cool, I make a transparent distinction. I’m not like resting, like having my break day or having an hour off. After which I’m like, oh, however I’m gonna go test Instagram or no matter. And it’s okay in the event you do this, and like, be compassionate with your self, however to identical to, have that distinction. After which as we follow an increasing number of clear relaxation, then we will actually begin to have added layers of consciousness round it or like nuance round it. However I feel like, even for me, I’m nonetheless considerably like, there’s enterprise time, and there’s clear relaxation time.

And in my clear relaxation time, I’m taking care of my household, and I’m like, organizing the covers at residence, and I’m grocery purchasing, and I’m no matter. And there are occasions I’m watching Kardashians, and like that, for now, in my thoughts, like that’s clear relaxation. And I’m nonetheless going by way of just like the nuance of that and discovering that. And it doesn’t should be that it’s like clear relaxation is just once you’re being unproductive and feeling energized, and recharged, and every part else isn’t clear relaxation.

Jenna
Okay, that’s actually protruding to me, as you mentioned that, like, intellectually, I hear you of like, it’s not a really feel like I’m attaching clear relaxation to a sense. And in or mental. I will be like, oh, yeah, I’m doing that. Like, that’s not how it’s. However I really feel it in my physique nonetheless of like, yeah, that’s what clear relaxation must be like, I ought to really feel if I don’t really feel recharged after if I don’t really feel calm by way of it. If I don’t really feel a sure feeling, then it’s not going to be clear relaxation.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And that’s okay, that you just’ve been considering that, however it isn’t useful. And once we can begin to assume like I had this perhaps a pair months in the past, now. I had 4 days to wash relaxation. And I used to be like, it was I feel, I don’t know what day the week it might have been. Possibly like Sunday night, and I used to be on a stroll. And I used to be like, I don’t really feel recharged.

Like, I simply really feel like, I’m about to return into my work week, and I simply really feel flat. After which I spotted, like, oh, I can simply determine to really feel recharged, like the best way that I made a decision I don’t really feel recharged. And I had simply mentioned that, like I used to be saying, just like the sky is blue type of factor. Yeah. After I was like, I might truly like, let me attempt that on. I’ll simply assume like, I truly really feel recharged. And I like directed my mind to, you understand, ideas that will be much like that, that I already believed.

And I modified my expertise in that like, even the opposite night time, I used to be feeling actually drained. And I haven’t been having as a lot sleep and I used to be like, my eye like I simply really feel so exhausted. After which I used to be truly like, dropping out my eyes simply really feel like they’re like singing, like I simply obtained current to the feeling, like, my eyes is singing. However in any other case, I truly really feel fairly good if I identical to get out and self pity about it. However I simply have seen eyes.

And that’s high-quality. And it’s like 9pm I’m about to go to mattress. However we will as we determine to not really feel recharged, it’s doubtlessly additionally an choice to determine that. And that may not be the case in each scenario. And that’s going to be the answer. However in from what you’ve offered, like taking part in round with like, perhaps I do really feel recharged. Yeah. Like perhaps this clear relaxation didn’t should look the best way I assumed for me to have the ability to come out of it and are available again into my enterprise feeling like, I’ve obtained this, I’m constant. And I don’t should show that to myself. I simply am.

Jenna
Yeah, that actually resonates with me of like, making it a call. Like, I like emotions, emotions are going to return and go like emotions are going to be in all places. However like, I’m recharged. I took this hour this time away from my work and like, subsequently I’m recharged to return to work tomorrow or like at no matter time it’s. And like that actually helps me confront the considering a part of it of like, as a result of it’s like then I don’t have clear relaxation. After which I’ve guilt that I didn’t have clear relaxation. After which it’s like this downside that I’ve to resolve, like, how am I going to determine learn how to clear relaxation as a result of I’m by no means going to be productive in my enterprise till I get actually good at clear relaxation. You understand. So yeah, that’s like tremendous useful, you understand, deciding that I’m rested.

Sam Laura Brown
Sorry, I used to be gonna say it’s to not say that we wish to deny the sentiments that we do have this isn’t about like a positivity bandaid on prime of something. However plenty of occasions it’s simply this sort of like self pity type of self indulgent, like, I don’t really feel recharged. So now I type of have a productive week and like we simply type of use it as an excuse to not give 100% effort as a result of it feels scary to do this. So we’re like, oh, properly, I might if I used to be recharged, however I’m not recharged. After which we’ve Yeah, so let’s proceed. So we don’t really feel recharged.

So it’s to not say that if there are emotions we have to be with and course of that we’re simply going to, like slap some like determination on prime. But when we’re in this sort of self pity, type of taste of issues that isn’t like we don’t must course of self pity, and like, be with that, like, that’s simply one thing like overwhelmed, we don’t must course of it. It’s identical to this indulgent type of emotion that simply retains our selves busy and distracted from that’s one other feeling that that we’re avoiding with these emotions.

So being like, I’m, determine and simply attempting to get on, like I’ve talked about earlier than, I’ve tried on like, I’m so properly rested. And after I assume that my expertise like bodily adjustments, and encourages me to get to mattress after I must get to mattress, and to set my alarm after I must set my alarm. And like, it doesn’t cease me from like, it doesn’t deny any emotions that I do have, however it identical to, it’s like, properly, this may be equally true. And so like, identical to, it might be true that you just don’t really feel recharged. Possibly that’s only a determination that you just’re making, unconsciously, so that you’ve an excuse to not screw up absolutely.

Jenna
Particularly as a result of I’m lastly at some extent the place like, every part I do for my enterprise prices me braveness, like, I’ve no extra busy work occurring. And so it’s fascinating to me that that is occurring on the similar time, prefer it’s no coincidence. And it was making me assume once you have been speaking like identical to once you mentioned you have been drained, and also you have been like, or your eyes like, and also you simply obtained current to the feeling of your eyes, after which made the choice. I really feel like, like that, the sentiments to love, okay, I can get current to the feeling of the sensation and determine that I’m recharged and able to go. With out like, placing that positivity bandaid such as you mentioned.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And like after I was going for that stroll, and I used to be like, Oh, I might truly simply determine to really feel recharged. I had simply earlier than that considered like, why am I telling myself I don’t really feel recharged, like how am I feeling? After which I might determine like that, like, there’s nothing there like, I’m simply telling myself that I don’t really feel recharged, as a result of my mind is simply defaulting to that. And it might simply be redirected someplace else. And it wasn’t like, oh, no, I truly like my physique’s crying out for relaxation. So it was like, actually my mind. It’s simply my ideas which might be creating the sensation of not being charged. There’s like not one thing occurring with my physique. Or I don’t know if that is sensible. However yeah, it’s like, earlier than that, like, as you mentioned, getting in contact with the way you’re feeling with the sensations.

And anytime I’ve achieved that, it’s at all times been stunning to me to be like, Oh, truly, like after I actually get current even just like the fatigue the opposite day, I used to be like, my eyes simply sting. Like, it’s, I’ve been making it this entire Oh, like perhaps it’s, like takes us few seconds longer to get my mind to consider one thing however it when it says imprecise, like I’m so drained and that type of factor. It appears like this huge mountain of like emotion that it’s identical to a undeniable fact that we will overcome it. And when it’s like no, my eyes simply sting a little bit like with how we do with disgrace.

Like, oh, yeah, my like, cheeks are simply scorching and I’ve this sense in my abdomen. My pulse is fastly like, oh, okay, properly, that’s manageable, like once we get to the sensation. After which from the sensation as soon as we’re in that and my current to me enable it to be there like, I wasn’t attempting to be like, Oh no, my eyes must cease seeing. Like, no, I’m gonna let my eyes hold seeing until I’m going to mattress. And as soon as I let that be okay, it was like, okay, cool. Now I can simply get out of the self pity about being drained and simply get pleasure from the remainder of my night time after which go to mattress and get to sleep I want.

Jenna
Yeah, it’s like what I used to be, what I first began out with was explaining what was occurring and saying the previous 4 days, I’ve been feeling like, you understand, I can’t no matter I can all this stuff. And now I’m like, Oh my gosh, that’s what I used to be doing. I used to be like lingering in that as a substitute of like, sitting with it taking a look at it and like and deciding to maneuver on from it.

Sam Laura Brown
So let’s discuss then the way it had like, earlier than you bought on the teaching name and like earlier than we checked out like clear relaxation pictures or no matter. How was that feeling of like not being recharged and like, how was that feeling like bodily to you in the event you needed to describe it?

Jenna
Like I used to be bodily drowning. And identical to, determined like I used to be, like, determined for the factor that was going to repair in order that I might get again into like, my like balanced productiveness and like feeling like myself and feeling in my physique and like, in a position to make choices. And like, I used to be so determined for that. After which like I noticed on one hand, I used to be like, determined. After which alternatively, I used to be like, attempting to determine like, Okay, what determination do I must make? Or, you understand, what factor do I must do?

Sam Laura Brown
So how does that really feel in your physique? Like once you have been saying you felt such as you’re drowning? Like, is it and that is the place it’s like, actually fascinating, as a result of it, perhaps it’s arduous to clarify, perhaps it isn’t. However to note how like, the phrase use, like I used to be drowning, I felt determined. After which my guess is once we examine, it’s gonna be like, Oh, I simply had like, this flutter in my chest or like, you understand what I imply? So how was that feeling bodily to you?

Jenna
Like, so heavy in my chest. And like, my throat, like tight to me. That’s what it felt like. Nevertheless it’s fascinating, as a result of now as I’m saying, like, as I’m saying it to you now I’m like, oh, yeah, it was identical to a, like tightening in my throat and heavy chest. Like, it’s not gonna go greater than that. Like, it’s not gonna go additional than that. Like, that simply is what it’s. However earlier than you simply requested me this query, I might have been like, Oh, my, it appears like 1000 kilos. Like, it appears like my throat is gonna tighten up. Like, I can’t even discuss with out desirous to cry, like, however it’s, it’s simply fascinating to me how, like the identical diploma of it. It hasn’t modified. However simply the thought shift about it modified the best way of it. And simply by you saying that.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And like once we noticed it in a self belief module, about like, feeling your emotions and like naming them and getting current to them. And that is usually the case, like virtually at all times, that once we’re resisting an emotion, and we’re not letting it’s there, and like, you type of mentioned, like, I wish to really feel like myself once more, and also you’re denying that it’s additionally you to really feel like you’ve got one thing heavy in your chest.

And like that, properly, people, it’s additionally it’s not like, we’re simply feeling like ourselves, once we really feel like, you understand, we’re springing round the home, and every part’s so good. And we’re being productive. And that’s me, and it’s not me to be in these different emotions. It’s all on us. And however once we’re not descriptive and imprecise about it, then it appears like this emotion that we will’t transfer previous and we then need to withstand it as a result of it appears like properly, if I actually get into that, I’m not going to have the ability to get out of it.

And that’s his entire factor. And I’m identical to, makes me take into consideration most likely gonna get my excessive credit score reference a bit skew however like, in Harry Potter seven there’s like, their like, lake factor that the place Dumbledore goes anyway, like, this entire, like, gloomy. Like, there’s like these lifeless individuals within the lake which might be like, type of come out and seize you and like, you’ll by no means be capable to escape. Like, it’s like, we expect that if we let ourselves go there like, that’s when we’ve to love, I’ll go watch the modules. And I’ll go do that. As a result of I must get out of this sense. As a result of this sense isn’t me this sense isn’t secure to be in. However once we can acknowledge…

Jenna
I really feel that’s how I felt. Like, I felt like I used to be in that lake of identical to, I didn’t really feel prefer it was coming for me. Like I felt like I used to be in that lake and it was dragging me down just like the indecision was dragging me down, like, all these emotions in my chest and every part, like I used to be being pulled down. And if I didn’t determine it out, I used to be gonna get sucked below. And so I used to be like, desperately like, what module do I want to observe? What e-book do I must learn? Like, what do I must learn earlier than this might sink me below the water as a result of my knees are already below.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and it’s like an excellent with having this consciousness. It’s not like that I’m teaching on this. So I this by no means occurs to me even like, What day is it in the present day? Like, two days in the past, I used to be feeling like, I simply really feel like so bland, like, not nice. And like, I simply felt like this. I used to be like, I simply wish to really feel like myself. Like all this stuff. Just like the coach I’m providing you with is just like the teaching for me too. However as soon as I used to be like, I’m simply gonna let it’s okay, like that. I’m not feeling like energetic and no matter, 100% of the time.

And I’m like, truly, this was on Sunday. I’m like, there’s nonetheless like I can both identical to wallow in self pity all day. Or I can like simply be with this sense and nonetheless do the issues I wish to do in the present day as a result of my future self goes to be glad that I set myself up for the week. And I’m going to do all of that whereas letting it’s okay that I don’t really feel motivated and I don’t really feel impressed and I don’t have all of those concepts and no matter. And like as quickly as I let it’s okay, I like had the most effective afternoon as a result of I let it’s okay for me to not have the most effective afternoon.

Jenna
Wow. I really feel identical to so easy. However that makes a lot sense. Like as a result of that you just let go of the resistance. And so then you may truly, like have a superb afternoon.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and it’s like, permitting it to be there with out like wallowing in it and like, then going into this indulgence round it, it’s like, I’m simply gonna, like, let it’s there with me and be okay, and I’m gonna let myself be on this feeling for so long as I have to be in it. Like, I’m not going to really feel it as a way to an finish of getting out of it. As a result of generally they’ll do this, like, I’ll let myself have a nasty like, dangerous day, quote, unquote, in order that, like, I can get to the nice one. It’s like, if we really feel our emotions as a way to an finish as a way to feeling higher, they persist, they don’t go away. But when like, I’m prepared to, like, sit in disgrace, or I’m prepared to identical to, be with this sense of like, feeling unmotivated.

Right now, I’m simply gonna, like, let it’s that and I’m not gonna go into self pity about it, like be on to ourselves about that, how we will wish to take pleasure in that, however to identical to, let it’s there. After which from that place of allowance, determine how we wish to like I might have then determined, okay, this afternoon, I’m simply going to do nothing and that to the okay, however I used to be like, You understand what, now I’m like, let me be okay, I really feel this fashion. There are nonetheless issues that I love to do. I’m going to do them.

And it was simply letting it’s okay, that like, I wasn’t even consciously excited about it. However an hour later, I used to be like, Oh, it appears like a totally completely different day. Now that I’m feeling in a different way. So let’s wrap up this by speaking about your subsequent work week that you just’re learning, like your subsequent work day. What do you assume you must do in a different way? That’s tremendous easy, and tremendous straightforward. We don’t wish to be on this like, now I must do all this self teaching and no matter.

Identical to, what’s one thing that you may convey with you to your subsequent work day, that will help you be extra within the power of I’m simply the one who is constant and does a brave issues, and it might be trying along with your energy planning your Energy Hour, I’d like if every part you’re doing is I like the way you mentioned like costing you braveness that that may imply further clear relaxation is known as for, as a result of the stuff you’re doing, it’s such a needle mover. And it does like something that actually does take braveness goes to take like, like, it feels extra unsafe for us. Like we have to then create security and the clear relaxation and like security whereas we’re doing the, like emotional security whereas we’re doing the brave factor. But additionally like our mind, understanding clear relaxation is coming.

So it could be like having extra clear relaxation all through the week and that type of factor. However we wish to be taking a look at like your subsequent work days that you’re approaching? How would possibly you have the option to consider them? Or like, what can you are taking into that? In order that as a substitute of it being like this excessive influence dash? Yeah. And then you definitely’re like, exhausted on the facet of the street like, dying? Yeah. Dash once more, as a result of I’m so behind within the race.

If we wish to simply be excited about going at a gradual tempo, and also you’re the type of one that does that, and you are taking relaxation when applicable. And when it’s time to run utilizing the analogy, you do the working. And that’s high-quality. You’re not attempting to show to your self that you just’re working and simply run. So how would possibly you must take into consideration your week, or extra importantly, your self?

Jenna
I’m having a extremely arduous time with this one as a result of I actually hopped on this name simply from attempting to do work. And I felt like what you simply mentioned, like I used to be attempting to catch up like, Oh, yay, lastly, I watched the modules and it helped me and now I’ve rearranged my clear relaxation for the week. So now I do know I’m gonna have clear relaxation. So then I sat all the way down to work and I used to be like, now I’ve to love energy by way of as a result of I’m so behind.

So I’m like I don’t really feel prefer it has any I really feel prefer it has to do with what you’re speaking about like letting about being the kind of one that like I’m who I’m on the nice days within the dangerous days. Like what you one thing about that what you mentioned about it’s not simply I’m who I’m after I’m like joyful and feeling good. Like it’s nonetheless me additionally if like I’m feeling no matter, like blah or like not feeling good. So however I don’t know learn how to make that straightforward. That’s the place I feel that’s the place I’m getting caught is like how does that straightforward.

Sam Laura Brown
So principally, like, from what you simply mentioned, this like proving and like hustling, like I’ve to, like dash type of power is coming from one of many methods it’s coming from is I’m behind. Which in fact you want, properly, I must catch up. And that’s gonna, like imply this further spurt of motivation. And like, we all know, like, I do know everybody in PGSD has been by way of like that have that it’s been once we’re on this mentality of like, I’m behind, and I must catch up, it perpetuates behind this.

Yeah, I’ve talked earlier than in regards to the habit to feeling behind. Nevertheless it perpetuates that, as a result of then we dash, after which we’re exhausted once more. And so the model of us like on this made up world the place there’s like this on observe, or no matter. And it’s potential to, you understand, be on observe and never be behind. However with, like, if we have been simply going alongside at this constant tempo, that doesn’t really feel glamorous, that isn’t going to really feel excessive influence, we’d be thus far forward of us who dash. After which like, is exhausted.

After which particularly with like, consistency, when we’ve that we’ve that momentum. And we’re in a position like with that simply regular tempo, we’re in a position to keep in movement. However once we’re doing spurts of labor and stopping and beginning, it takes a lot power and that is what you’re in proper now, it takes a lot power to love go from zero to 100 as a substitute of simply being like 50. And it doesn’t imply like our 50% is us like dialing it in and doing mediocre work however 50% once we’re like simply going at that regular tempo is us doing our greatest work.

And doing it in a extremely sustainable, considerate focus manner, as a substitute of like attempting to do that big spurt of motivation and work. After which being exhausted, after which going again to 100%. After which zero 100% Zero, it’s like simply been understanding it’s secure to be at that like 50% properly, you’re not feeling such as you’re frantically doing shit. And also you’re identical to, oh, I truly really feel like calm and I don’t really feel overwhelmed.

And it will probably really feel actually jarring at first once we’re so used to 100 or zero to be like, Oh, I simply did my workday, and I don’t really feel exhausted and like, I don’t really feel overwhelmed. And that is type of bizarre. And I ought to both really feel overwhelmed and burned out. Or I ought to really feel extremely motivated and like frantic and into it. And if I’m not feeling a kind of two issues that I’m by no means gonna get there. It’s like, letting it really feel emotionally secure to be in. I’m simply doing constant top quality imperfect work.

Jenna
Okay, then you understand what?

Sam Laura Brown
What does that convey up for you?

Jenna
What that brings up for me is like, that’s precisely how I felt once you requested me, what do I must do within the subsequent couple of days, it felt like, properly, I must swing to the opposite facet of the pendulum as a result of now I’ve been like, I’ve wasted these previous 4 days. So now I want to love flip over. So now I feel like in mild of that and what you mentioned of like, as a substitute of flipping, you understand, being on this constant regular price of circulate, no matter rhythm I feel that will appear like perhaps identical to specializing in clear relaxation that I set out. So like I watched the modules I readjusted I notice for myself, like, guess what, the health club is clear relaxation for me.

And you understand, and that actually helps me as a result of I used to be like attempting to have the health club and meals and work and like properly home clear relaxation. So like that was actually useful for me to make that clear relaxation. And it genuinely is clear relaxation. Like from watching the modules. I used to be like, oh, yeah, like that is clear relaxation. So I feel perhaps if I used to be on a gradual tempo as a substitute of pendulum, I might. Yeah, I might identical to deal with following by way of with clear relaxation, as I’ve set out in the present day and take into consideration what you mentioned, so far as it’s true.

All of my stuff are like, costing me a lot braveness. So most likely for subsequent week, I want an much more clear relaxation, like as a result of I actually do assume that’s true. Like I’ve been attempting to get this stuff achieved for a few weeks now. And I spotted prefer it’s as a result of I’m not like correctly getting ready for the quantity of braveness that it’s going to be so I’m by no means prepared so I’m at all times shifting it. So I really feel like if I can so just like the regular race made for me is like as a substitute of including extra clear relaxation tomorrow, it’s like specializing in simply following by way of with the clear relaxation, after which for subsequent week, like including extra. And like, Yeah, I feel that’s what it seems to be like.

Sam Laura Brown
And the way would it’s important to take into consideration your self to do this. And I additionally wish to point out like your future self, as a result of this relates again to self belief and trusting that your future self goes to have the ability to obtain the objectives you wish to obtain. On the tempo you’ve set out. Like once we don’t belief that once we don’t belief our future self. That is one thing I’ve been engaged on lots, is like trusting my future self to have the ability to get shit achieved even when it’s not an excellent circumstances. Like principally, for instance, when, earlier than I had Lydia and I talked about this on the podcast, like after I was pregnant, I went into like, complete over ready, like I wanted to have every part, like I wanted to know every part, have every part, all of the issues.

And what I’ve actually been realizing is that, that I didn’t belief my future self to have the ability to deal with what it could be wish to have a new child until I used to be in ultimate circumstances. So I used to be like attempting to create these ultimate circumstances and have like, all of the like, all of the little fine details we might presumably want. So if something was difficult, I not less than had this like, I had circumstantially set myself up nearly as good as potential. And that by doing that, I used to be like, wasn’t as a substitute constructing the self belief that I might deal with no matter would come, even when I wasn’t in ultimate circumstances.

And so I feel once we’re like this over preparedness, and that type of factor, it’s actually like, we’re not trusting ourselves to have the ability to deal with issues with out ultimate circumstances. However I feel as properly, like on this scenario, it’s excited about, like, your relationship along with your future self and self belief, and trusting that when it does come time to work, you’re going to have the ability to do the brave issues you must do, and that it’ll add up. And that doesn’t entitle you want doing the brave issues doesn’t entitle you to success.

However it’ll get you that as a result of once you do this, and also you consider, you’re going to have the ability to regulate and adapt and develop till you get there. So it’s price doing these issues for therefore many causes. However excited about how would you must take into consideration your self? And the way would possibly you must take into consideration your self that manner in relation to self belief, like the place would possibly you must belief your self a little bit extra, so that you could get the clear relaxation you want, and do the brave issues. Assume out that what involves thoughts to you, for you?

Jenna
What’s coming to thoughts to me proper now could be like, I’ve constructed such an identification of being somebody who’s a constant individual. And but, by some means, like clear relaxation has escaped that. So like, what’s developing for me is like, I can do that, like, if I’m able to be constant. If I created myself as a constant individual, then I can do that right here too. In order that’s developing for me. And in addition what’s developing for me is like actually letting go of that.

No matter perception, I feel perception of like, the sensation related to wash remainder of like chasing the sensation that I’ve made a perception about clear relaxation, which primarily, is the sensation that I used to be chasing all final week in productiveness of like actually good about myself, you understand, that’s most likely why I felt like I used to be getting clear relaxation as a result of it was like I’ve made previously clear relaxation has been a sense. So now I’m venturing out to love, make clear relaxation a dedication. And like, I can belief that I can do this. I can follow that. And I can be taught that.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah. And to belief prefer it to realize it’s going to really feel once you dedicated to wash relaxation, just like the clear relaxation is self as you mentioned, it’s going to really feel alternative ways on completely different days. And that’s fully regular. And I like the way you recognized like, trusting which you can be taught the ability of fresh relaxation. And in addition, I feel as properly excited about trusting which you can like, you’ve been speaking about needing to show to your self that you just’re this constant individual. So like your self picture is manner nearer to being like, I’m constant, however it’s nonetheless not all the best way there as a result of as soon as we’re all the best way there we don’t must show to ourselves that we’re. In order that’s not an issue. That’s not a nasty factor. However simply recognizing that after which specializing in like I can belief myself to be constant, like constantly if that is sensible.

Like I’m not simply constant for a few weeks, after which I pull off that I can belief myself to have the ability to keep it. Even with out being in a frenzy or like on this excessive influence, like I don’t have to be on this spurt of motivation to have the ability to be constant or like I don’t know precisely like, that’s most likely not the suitable option to phrase it. However that we’re considering like, I can’t belief myself to keep up my focus and do the issues I must do. So I must do it whereas I’m motivated. As a result of I can’t belief myself to do it after I’m unmotivated. Nicely I can’t belief myself to do it in a while.

And when we’ve that thought, what occurs we don’t do it in a while, as a result of we will’t belief ourselves. But when we will begin like, I’m contemplating the likelihood that I can belief myself to relaxation, it’s secure to relaxation. And that I can do the issues I must do when the time comes, no matter how I really feel like going again to speaking about having a child that I used to be like, I wasn’t considering I can belief myself to determine it out within the second and be resourceful and I used to be considering like, I can’t belief myself, not consciously, however I used to be considering I can’t belief myself.

So I must have ultimate circumstances. Like the identical factor right here that it’s like, I must have ultimate circumstances when it comes to motivation as a result of I can’t belief myself to be feeling unmotivated, and do the brave factor, or to be feeling no matter and do the brave factor. So I want to love capitalize on this motivation, however I can’t belief it’s gonna keep. And so I must positively profit from it as a result of it’s going to go.

Jenna
It’s like, including on to that. I feel it’s additionally like when I’ve that feeling. So in that week, I’ve that feeling. I consider in my self like price, so like, my identification of myself, is I consider I’m worthy. And like all these issues. So it’s like, oh, properly, I’ve to carry on to this. As a result of as soon as that is gone, and I’m not doing this like my self-worth is gone additionally. Yeah, in order that makes plenty of sense of like, I’m clinging on to that. And like, I must be taught to belief myself, that I maintain on to my self-worth regardless, like no matter if I’m like… No matter, no matter actions are being taken, or no matter productiveness or no matter’s occurring, like my self-worth, must be, like, I must belief myself that I can keep that.

Sam Laura Brown
Yeah, and like, it’s secure to relaxation, as a result of by considering like, subconsciously, it’s not secure to relaxation, as a result of meaning I’m not gonna like I’m not being productive, and I’m not being productive, and I’m not gonna achieve success, and nobody’s gonna love me. I’m gonna die alone and that type of factor. It’s high-quality that our mind does that. However like, we’re moving into, like, it’s secure to relaxation. And I can attempt it. Like, if you consider, you understand, after they run a marathon, they don’t like dash, after which caught to the facet of the dash, and like, they only obtained this regular tempo. And if they should cease for a drink, they cease for a drink. And after they’re coaching, like they don’t practice 24/7, like, it’s, it’s so vital, wish to really feel that security in the remainder. And the one manner to do this is to follow the remainder.

However our brains have a little bit freakout and to simply hold resting and to show to ourselves and never from this, like insufficient type of factor, however to love, give our brains an opportunity to see that the world retains spinning. We’re nonetheless lovable, like all these issues, once we are resting. And once we are going into relaxation with self belief, we’re going to have the ability to discover that proof once we go into relaxation with like, from that mentality, I’ve to be productive to be worthy, then our mind freaks the fuck out.

And it’s completely regular. As I mentioned that, once we first begin resting in like the primary few years of fresh relaxation, our mind continues to be like, this isn’t secure. We have to be productive. So simply giving ourselves a compassion with that’s so vital. That’s all we’ve time for in the present day. Thanks a lot for getting coached, as a result of I do know it’s gonna assist everybody. So thanks a lot. And we’ll be again. We… What am I attempting to say? I’ll discuss to you on the subsequent name. Bye.

In order that was the teaching name with Jenna. I hope you discovered it extremely useful. And the ultimate half on this declare relaxation collection goes to be the subsequent episode, the place I’m going to be sharing what I stand up to personally after I’m taking clear relaxation and the way am I clear press… What am I saying? How my clear relaxation follow has developed over time simply to assist in giving you some concepts and actually show you how to see what this may appear like.

That is going to be my private expertise with it. However I actually hope that you just discover it useful and provoking. And so yeah, that’s going to be the fifth and last half on this collection. And once more, I simply I wish to invite you into PGSD. If you happen to can relate to what I discuss on this podcast, that’s the place you belong, that’s the place you’re going to get the assistance and assist and neighborhood and encouragement and security to essentially follow every part that I talked about right here on the podcast.

So you possibly can go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd, to seek out out extra about this system to hitch the waitlist and to enroll when the doorways open. So the doorways do open at 6am, New York time on the 4th of April and shut at 11:59pm, New York time on the eleventh of April, I might like to see you in there I might like to work with you as your coach. And to essentially show you how to to get out of your personal manner in your online business and present up absolutely and do all of the issues you understand you must do.

And it’s by no means too late to start out planning correctly. And the earlier you be taught it, the earlier you’ll be getting out of your personal manner.

So anyway, samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Simply in case you want that once more, it’s within the present notes for you and I’ll discuss to you within the subsequent episode.