“When you may’t look on the intense aspect, I’ll sit with you at nighttime.” ~Unknown
There are moments in life when ache feels consuming—when it lingers, reshapes us, and forces us to confront elements of ourselves we’ve lengthy averted. Lately, I discovered myself in a type of moments.
I used to be overwhelmed, unraveling, and isolating, making an attempt to make sense of feelings that felt heavy. In that area, I wrote this message to an in depth good friend—somebody who has stood by me via my highs and lows, but somebody I now notice I haven’t all the time proven up for in the best way they deserved.
That is greater than only a letter. It’s an acknowledgment of the burden we stock, the best way we heal, and the significance of holding area for these we love.
It’s a reminder that ache doesn’t have to be rushed, that therapeutic isn’t about fixing however about remembering we had been by no means damaged to start with. And most significantly, it’s a promise—to my good friend, to myself, and to anybody who has ever felt unseen—that we’re by no means actually alone.
Right here’s my message…
You recognize, these previous few days, all I’ve achieved is sleep, suppose, cry, and hearken to music. I haven’t left the home except it’s for work, and even then, I really feel like I’m simply going via the motions.
I’ve been letting myself really feel all the pieces—selecting to take a seat with it—though it’s terrifying. It feels deep and uncooked, and typically it pulls me into locations so heavy, I’m wondering if I’ll ever discover my manner out. However surprisingly, in all of that darkness, it seems like one thing inside me is shedding and peeling away. It’s painful, however on the identical time, it’s therapeutic. It’s the sort of ache that comes with progress, even when it doesn’t really feel prefer it within the second.
I do know this most likely sounds heavy, possibly even overwhelming, however one thing triggered this—one thing linked to an outdated, deeply rooted wound for me—and it’s compelled me to take a seat with feelings I’ve been carrying for a very long time. The impression I’ve had, it’s arduous to clarify, even to myself, however I really feel like one thing has shifted—in life and inside me.
Right here’s what I’ve come to understand: Ache doesn’t have to be rushed. Therapeutic doesn’t have to be rushed.
Typically, we simply have to let ourselves be in our emotions, even when it’s messy and arduous. And what I’ve discovered is that we will maintain area for our disappointment with out letting it outline us. By sitting with it and never working away, we give it an opportunity to show us one thing about who we’re, the place we’ve been, and the place we’re headed.
I do know sitting in it for too lengthy isn’t wholesome. However there’s an influence in honoring your feelings, in giving your self permission to really feel what you’re feeling with out judgment. It’s an act of affection and compassion towards your self, a reminder that your ache is legitimate, your journey is legitimate, and you’re legitimate.
With out diving into the entire story simply but—which I promise I’ll share with you when the time feels proper—I would like you to know that I see you. I respect your endurance with me via all of this, and I would like you to know the way a lot love I’ve for you.
I do know it hasn’t been simple for you. For some time now, there have been so many moments which have felt overwhelming, and lots of wounds have reopened and been re-triggered.
If I may return, I’d’ve proven up in another way in each single second you trusted me together with your emotions. I’d’ve made certain you by no means felt disgrace for feeling the best way you probably did. As an alternative of making an attempt to repair it, I’d’ve sat with you within the discomfort and reminded you that your feelings aren’t a burden and that you’re worthy of affection even in your hardest moments.
I see now how necessary it’s to let somebody really feel their emotions totally and to carry area for them with out judgment or strain. I want I may’ve achieved that for you each time. However what I can do now could be present you, shifting ahead, that not everybody will allow you to down. Not everybody will depart.
My love for you runs deep. I see you. I see all of you—your energy, your softness, your magnificence, even within the hardest moments. And I would like you to know, with no shadow of a doubt, that you’re liked. You’re sufficient precisely as you’re, and I’m right here for you. At all times.
I invite you to maintain sharing your emotions with me. I’ll maintain area for you in the best way you deserve and remind you each single day that you’re liked and seen. You don’t have to hold something alone, and there’s no rush to be “okay.”
Take your time. Therapeutic isn’t about fixing your self; it’s about remembering that you just had been by no means damaged to start with. It’s okay to really feel deeply. It’s an indication of your humanity, your braveness, and your capability to like. Be mild with your self. Compassion isn’t simply one thing you give to others—it’s one thing you should obtain, particularly from your self.
And regardless of how heavy issues get in life, bear in mind, you’re not alone, and therapeutic just isn’t linear.
I’m right here, and I’ll hold displaying up for you as you present up for your self.
I like you.
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