I’ve been attempting to do a couple of issues in another way in 2025.
Particularly, transferring in direction of moments or issues that make me uncomfortable.
(I don’t imply “instances when I’m in bodily hazard,” in fact.)
However relatively, I’m going to run towards the issues that my mind tells me, “That is uncomfortable, I don’t like this, keep away from it in any respect prices.”
The e-mail I’m afraid to open. The dialog I’m afraid to have. The query I’m afraid to ask. The flexibility to be alone with my ideas (yikes).
Once I attain for my cellphone or Netflix or Ps controller to keep away from being bored or uncomfortable or unhappy or responsible…
I’m attempting to construct some self-discipline to pause first.
To not keep away from, distract, or entertain myself away from what’s actually occurring.
To not zone out or run away, Monty-Python type.
If I’ve the braveness to sit down there and actually ask the query, “Why is that this making me really feel uncomfortable?” there’s priceless classes to be discovered.
Lean into The Discomfort
Creator Pema Chodron lays out the next in her e book When Issues Fall Aside:
“We regard discomfort in any kind as unhealthy information.
…emotions like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and worry.
As a substitute of being unhealthy information, these are literally very clear moments that train us the place it’s that we’re holding again.”
This stuff may be unbelievable academics if we give ourselves the area to study.
However that’s fairly the ask in 2025:
Due to the web and our telephones and same-day supply, we are able to spend each minute of every single day hiding from almost each single uncomfortable feeling in our lives. We by no means need to be bored, we by no means need to really feel “unhealthy,” we by no means have to handle the elephant within the room.
We will simply swipe, click on, faucet, or disassociate to keep away from any and all “unhealthy” emotions.
We will conceal from them with countless leisure and luxury (even when it retains us from getting what we actually need).
After all, these unhealthy emotions don’t go away—they’re nonetheless there, and the issues we’re avoiding will ultimately have to be handled.
When I attempt to conceal from discomfort, I do know I’m not truly avoiding it. I’m not preserving it boxed up.
I’m trapped in Pandora’s Field with the monsters.
Blaise Pascal, a Seventeenth-century thinker, mentioned it finest:
“All of humanity’s issues stem from man’s incapacity to sit down quietly in a room alone.”
These Emotions are Making an attempt to Train Us!
Many emotions of discomfort are screaming to show us one thing if we are able to reframe how we really feel about them.
As Chodron factors out:
“They’re like messengers that present us, with terrifying readability, precisely the place we’re caught.
This very second is the right trainer, and, fortunate for us, it’s with us wherever we’re.”
Life has a manner of creating that quiet, uncomfortable feeling get louder and louder till we are able to’t assist however deal with it…
However we are able to save ourselves fairly a little bit of time if we acknowledge the worry, lean in sooner, and acknowledge life is attempting to show us one thing.
That’s my problem for you this week.
What if…
We requested, “Am I actually hungry, or am I simply soothing myself with meals?”
We acknowledged we had been scared or anxious or nervous after which requested (with compassionate curiosity) what was behind the sensation?
Life is attempting to show us classes every single day.
We simply need to be brave sufficient to be uncomfortable to see it.
-Steve
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