Studying is one thing I’ve all the time liked however over the previous few years, I learn much less and fewer. Between constructing my enterprise and elevating little ones, I struggled to search out the time.
On this episode, I’m sharing how I not too long ago obtained again into the behavior of studying although I’m busier than ever. I speak in regards to the function that perfectionism was taking part in, how I let go of my excuses and created an easy-to-stick-to studying behavior that didn’t contain any drive or strain. This episode is filled with sensible recommendation so be sure you tune in immediately.
To dive deeper: Need a simple solution to discover out if perfectionism is stopping your small business from rising? Take The Perfectionism Quiz immediately – it’s free, takes lower than 3 minutes and offers you a personalised report that lays out the straightforward steps you may take to get out of your individual manner. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.
For extra recommendation: Comply with me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for extra behind-the-scenes insights and help with getting out of your individual manner in your small business.
For full help: Able to get out of your individual manner in your small business? Be part of the waitlist for my productiveness program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll grasp our easy, confirmed course of for getting shit carried out with out burning out so you may lastly get your small business off the bottom.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Mission. A podcast filled with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own manner and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished group teaching program, which is in any other case often known as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your small business, you may observe me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
I wanna do a fast intro for this episode as a result of this episode wasn’t really meant to be an episode. So I posted on Instagram a couple of weeks in the past now; I’m @perfectionism undertaking, if you happen to aren’t following me there but. I posted about how I’ve been studying so many extra books and actually simply obtained over loads of the justifications that I had about not having sufficient time as a result of I’ve little children and all of that. And I requested if individuals needed to listen to how I made that shift. And so many individuals stated sure.
So I used to be simply recording myself, speaking it out to get out of my head what the precise shifts have been. Like, how did I’m going from studying possibly, like, one ebook a 12 months, beginning a couple of books, not ending them? Despite the fact that I like studying, I wasn’t doing it from a spot of ought to. Like, I like love love love studying books, and but that wasn’t being mirrored in my actions. And the way did I’m going from that to now recurrently ending books, having the ability to simply really feel like I can say in good conscience, sure.
I’m really a reader. I do learn books. So I needed to doc that a lot of it was associated to perfectionism that I had round studying and round time and various things like that. And so I hope it’s actually useful for me to only undergo what these shifts have been. In case you have been somebody who needs to be studying extra books, however you don’t wanna do it with the strain of, like, forcing your self to learn or, like, having to learn a sure variety of pages per day or, like, any of these issues, if you happen to simply wanna even have the will to learn and end up studying although you’ve obtained a busy life, this episode is gonna be actually useful for you.
So we’re gonna clear it up a bit as a result of I used to be simply, like, chatting and saying no matter to only attempt to doc the concepts, however I hope you discover it actually useful.
Sam Laura Brown
So primary is that when it has come to, mainly, the choice to learn once more and to be dedicated to that and shifting out of I’ll do it if I’ve time and going into, like, I’m actively going to make time, and I’m prepared to unravel for something that’s despatched in the best way of me having time for studying. I feel a giant a part of it’s simply connecting again to and simply noticing even with, pals and issues like that. Simply typically, I actually have a powerful id round being a ebook lover and somebody who reads books and loves books, and but I wasn’t really studying actually in any respect. And it might take me, like, six months to complete a ebook if if I even learn one.
So I additionally was having loads of perfectionism come up, which I’ll speak about particularly, but it surely was actually simply the will to do one thing that simply felt like me, and studying simply all the time feels very very similar to me it doesn’t matter what I’m studying. Sometimes, private growth or fiction or no matter, I really feel extra linked with myself. I really feel very energized and, like, recharged by studying, and I simply actually have all the time loved studying books. So it began with that want. It wasn’t from a spot of ought to or, like, individuals in like, with profitable companies learn this quantity per day or something like that.
Not that there’s something fallacious with that, however for me, like, I’m not there’s something fallacious with, like, introducing your self to studying if it’s one thing you’ve by no means carried out however you wanna do extra of for no matter cause. However for me, the explanation was simply, like, having time doing one thing that felt like me and simply noticing even studying fifteen minutes a day had a dramatic impression on how linked with myself that I felt. Like, it simply felt like actually honoring one thing that was necessary to me and prioritizing myself, and it didn’t have to take a lot time to try this for me to really feel that manner. So I simply actually, like, recommitted to studying books and never simply beginning them and possibly ending them, however, like, I’m gonna begin studying. From that time, I then checked out actually diving into, like, what’s standing in the best way of me studying And the place am I getting caught with studying?
Clearly, when you will have the generic, like, I don’t have sufficient time, that’s frequent to have. However, actually, it’s simply that I wasn’t making time, and I wasn’t making time due to a couple of sure issues. One is that I hadn’t actually accessed the resourcefulness or permission to learn at sure occasions. So I used to be form of simply telling myself, I can solely learn my ebook when the youngsters are napping or when Steve’s at work, and it’s not time for me and Steve to hang around, and it’s not time for me and the youngsters. However, additionally, one thing I seen was that I actually need my children to know me, and although they’re nonetheless fairly little in the mean time, that I would like them to see me doing issues I get pleasure from doing and never assume that my hobbies are taking part in magnet tiles with them or pushing them on the swing.
Like, I additionally produce other issues I get pleasure from doing, and so they love studying, and I wanna, like, foster a love for studying in them. However, additionally, I simply need them to know me and to see what I get pleasure from doing and that I get pleasure from doing plenty of totally different sorts of issues. So I wanted to mainly, like, redefine once I was allowed to learn and what that would appear like. So as an alternative of simply solely having the ability to learn throughout nap time, after which that was the one time I additionally had in my head to have the ability to train and to have the ability to do sure different issues, it simply felt a lot more durable. However once I was like, really, I can learn whereas they’re away, I can learn, like, in the event that they’re taking part in one thing, and now they’re at an age the place they will play collectively.
I’ve a virtually 4 12 months previous and a twin two 12 months olds and a child different manner. They’ll play collectively a bit extra as nicely. So it’s simply updating, like, really, I’m in a distinct season now with totally different circumstances, and my mind was form of pondering I nonetheless have primarily, like, very small twins and a toddler, however I don’t anymore. So there’s that. Generally our mind simply doesn’t acknowledge we’re not in the identical circumstances that we as soon as have been in.
And it’s not that this wouldn’t have utilized then, however I feel there’s additionally simply energy in acknowledging that, circumstantially, I’m in a distinct scenario. So the story I’ve that I don’t have time for studying isn’t even when it was ever true, it’s not as true because it was circumstantially. So there was that too, however simply being like, I can really learn whereas the youngsters are taking part in. I can learn like, as an alternative of me hanging out with Zeep, I can learn. I can learn.
So we often watch two episodes of Bluey earlier than mattress. I can learn whereas they’re watching Bluey. I don’t want to sit down there and watch the identical episodes of Bluey I’ve already seen. And I can if I would like, however I can even have that, like, fifteen minutes to only learn on the sofa subsequent to them. In order that’s already simply by studying as an alternative of watching with them, that’s already, like, over an hour of studying each week and only a set off for me as nicely that when it’s time, that’s once I’m studying.
So these issues actually helped simply opening up once I was allowed to learn, getting out of the mindset that I would like to have the ability to learn a giant chunk of the ebook, like, I would like the complete hour. And, additionally, like, the extra open you might be to seeing you don’t want that a lot time, if you happen to really document your self studying for an hour, like, that’s a really vital chunk of studying time. So what I are likely to do is a pair issues that assist with this. One is that if I can swing it and whether or not that’s if I get up early relatively than, like, fluffing round the home, I’ll learn my ebook or various things like that. Like, there are pockets the place I’ve a extra vital time to learn if I’m ready for Steve to get house from work, however the children are already in mattress, stuff like that, and simply being conscious.
I’m not gonna be scrolling or doing that, beginning to have the behavior of I’m gonna go to my ebook. However having a much bigger chunk of time or, like, getting via the primary fifty or so pages as shortly as attainable is basically useful. If I’m not get right into a ebook, like, I haven’t I’m nonetheless making an attempt to determine what the premise is, who the characters are, notably primarily studying fiction. So if I haven’t gotten, like, invested within the story, then it simply requires extra effort to go and choose up the ebook. So I prefer to attempt to get via the primary fifty pages as shortly as I can and actually take into consideration that fifty pages in a different way to the remainder of the ebook.
And just like the tip of the ebook, I obtained this from Cal Newport. He had a couple of nice YouTube movies about find out how to learn extra and the way he reads 5 books monthly and simply, like, how he thinks about studying. And one factor he stated was, like, having somewhat while you’re near ending the ebook, doing a ultimate push to get it carried out form of relatively than, like, chipping away on the finish. So if you happen to can, do a much bigger studying session to get it accomplished and see it over the ending line. And this isn’t like it’s important to consider it this manner without end, however simply, like, when you’re growing the habits.
However I discovered that actually useful to have that preliminary dive in after which additionally having a push on the finish of the ebook to, simply maintain that momentum going as nicely. So there’s that. The opposite factor is that to essentially simply get again into studying, I let go of any, like, that is what it’s best to learn or, like, suggestions for books that I feel I’ll discover fascinating, however I don’t really really feel notably into studying. Then I kinda simply let go of that. I used to be like, I’m simply gonna learn no matter I really feel like.
And if that’s, like, tremendous simple gentle books to learn, I’m gonna let myself learn that. I don’t should learn something too deep or, like, that requires plenty of psychological power, particularly getting again into the behavior. I don’t wanna have books that require loads of psychological power as a result of typically, like, I do have to have a ebook. And I discovered really having a few books on the go may be actually useful as a result of typically I’m actually having fun with the ebook, however, really, I don’t I’m simply not within the temper for that form of ebook. So, for instance, I used to be studying The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, and I actually did get pleasure from, if that’s the appropriate phrase for that form of ebook, loved that ebook.
However as a result of it’s such a heavy ebook with the context of battle and issues like that, that if I’d had a a extremely lengthy day with the youngsters or no matter, I simply didn’t really feel like studying a a like, an emotionally heavy ebook. I needed one thing extra, like, gentle and enjoyable to learn and, like, extra of an escape, so to talk. So I ended studying that ebook and picked it up about six months later and completed it, however I feel simply having a, like, a lighter ebook and a heavier ebook, it doesn’t should be, like, a fiction and a nonfiction, however, like, one thing that’s simple to learn after which one thing that’s a bit, that you just nonetheless have the will. It’s not from this place of, like, ought to or no matter, but it surely could possibly be a bit extra advanced or intricate or emotionally taxing that I simply discover that having a few books on the go is basically useful to have the ability to learn once I need to learn, however not be pressured to learn one thing I’m actually not within the temper for. So there’s that.
I additionally simply invested a while into really, like, getting, like, determining what I need to learn as a result of I discovered, like, once I had if I had time to learn, I wouldn’t as a result of I simply didn’t even know what I needed to learn as a result of I’d gotten so many various books. I had so many various suggestions, and I kinda felt like as nicely the much less I learn, the extra strain I felt to really learn one thing that was positively gonna be good, which is a perfectionist factor for positive. So what I did as an alternative, I simply was like, I’m going to restart my Goodreads and, like, really monitoring what I’m studying, and so I do know precisely what I’m studying and what I’m not studying. I had been utilizing Goodreads, however I had so many like, any ebook primarily that I’d began, I had put below studying. After which I discovered that I had, like, eight books that I used to be studying.
That’s too many to be clear about what I’m really studying. And, additionally, loads of these books are like, I don’t even assume I wanna end that ebook. I there’s some perfectionist actually definitely, like, if as soon as they began, they really feel like they’ve to complete it, and so they received’t permit themselves to do the rest, however I’ve not been in that perfectionist thought sample. In the case of studying, I’m actually prepared to only cease studying a ebook, even when there’s 50 pages left. If it’s shit, I’m simply not gonna end it.
And that’s I name that full. I don’t really feel any, like, dangerous emotions about it. I’ll say on the 50 web page to go mark, I, like, wouldn’t often make it to that time except it’s a good ebook, however I’m simply prepared to be like, okay. That ebook’s not for me or not for proper now, and I’m simply gonna name it full. So I went into Goodreads, and I really simply, like something that was half like, I’d began, however I actually didn’t even have the intention to complete.
I simply put again into, like, need to learn, and I simply left in my studying class. Like, I feel it was simply, like, one or two books I used to be really dedicated to ending. So a part of that was, once more, letting go, like, oh, however I ought to end it as a result of I began it. I technically am studying it or no matter. Similar to, really, what am I gonna what am I dedicated to ending if it’s good?
I simply let that be the brand new, like, having one or two books in my at present studying, or if I’ve three, there could be a lighter ebook, a heavier ebook, after which an audiobook as nicely. So I had been telling myself a narrative that I didn’t like listening to fiction books on, like, the audiobooks as a result of it, like, I discovered that if I simply zoned out and since if I’m listening whereas I’m, like, driving or no matter, one thing such as you hear one thing, your mind simply wanders, and then you definately’re like, I don’t even know who I don’t even know what’s occurring on this ebook anymore. And I listened to Harry Potter on audiobook. Wonderful. However, mainly, the rest, I simply began telling myself this story that I can’t do fiction audiobooks.
And I’ve a ebook membership with a couple of pals, and we have been speaking about I used to be like, I’m really simply gonna, like, problem my considered that as a result of it’s feeling actually restrictive, and I would love to have the ability to learn not simply nonfiction on audiobooks, however fiction too. And so I learn a ebook, Society of Lies, after which I learn what else was it? Mission Hail Mary, I learn with the audiobook. And once I modified my ideas, like, really, I I get pleasure from studying fiction on an audiobook, I loved it. I may sustain.
Like, I didn’t select something loopy heavy, to learn or, like, requiring plenty of focus. And that was actually nice too, simply having one other choice to learn, and I let that rely as a ebook. In order that’s the opposite factor is that me perfectionist may be like, nicely, we’ve these guidelines, and if it doesn’t meet the foundations, it doesn’t rely. After which simply, like, discredit ourselves or maintain us aside from the actions and id that we wanna have simply due to some made up rule. Like, an audiobook doesn’t rely.
It must be, like, a bodily ebook that I learn for it to rely. I’m not like there’s no ebook police that I’m making an attempt to appease. Like, I simply really wanna learn and have like, I like the lengthy type of tales. And so I don’t see why I feel it rely or not rely. So I tracked them this in Goodreads the identical as I do a bodily ebook as nicely.
And I like studying a combination as a result of there’s loads of occasions I like simply having a bodily ebook. No. It’s, like, so low stimulus in comparison with screens and issues like that. I simply sit on the entrance deck tremendous good, doing that. And different occasions, like, whereas I’m driving, as an alternative of, like, listening to podcasts solely, it’s like, I really wanna hearken to a ebook, and I do this.
So there’s that. Mainly, the theme of that is simply, like, opening up all the foundations that I had about what it needs to be like. So there’s that additionally simply, like, having the ebook simply accessible. So, like, leaving it on the kitchen island or simply, like, out in plain sight was actually useful too simply so I had that additional immediate to learn it. And, additionally and this isn’t, like, a revolutionary concept, but it surely was useful to listen to.
Cal Newport, once more, was the one who really useful this, however he simply stated about, like, having your individual little ritual or, like, making studying as fulfilling as attainable. And so simply sitting out on my entrance deck and simply having a cup of tea or no matter or some music if I need to, however we’ve a extremely stunning, like, outlook from our entrance deck that we dwell on acreage with plenty of timber. It mainly is sort of a treehouse while you’re on our entrance deck, and we’ve this actually excessive vary ceiling, and it’s simply, like, I really feel surrounded by nature once I’m there. So doing that as nicely and simply, like, having little locations that I like studying, it’s primarily there or simply upon, like, wherever works if I’m taking care of the youngsters on the similar time. And I’m nonetheless clearly, I’m not, like, deep in studying if I’m additionally supervising them, taking part in in our pattern or issues like that.
However I can learn sufficient, and, yeah, I simply have allowed myself to try this and simply seeing how as nicely the extra I’ve carried out that, the extra into studying they’ve been. Or like, mommy, right here’s your ebook and issues like that, that it simply has been very nice to to see and to, like, permit myself to have hobbies and different issues I like doing whereas taking care of the youngsters and never, like, compartmentalizing. There’s issues I do once I’m with the youngsters, which is all about them. After which in my private time, so to talk, after they’re asleep or they’re utterly occupied or no matter, then I can do different issues. It’s identical to, really, I might love them to know me, and I might love them to see me doing that and to additionally encourage them to try this if they need or, like, ask me about what I’m feeding and issues like that.
In order that has been actually useful. And, yeah, I feel they’re the principle issues. Mainly, I don’t have any set guidelines round, like, minimums. I don’t have like, it must be ten minutes a day or it must be fifteen minute 15 pages or one thing like that. And prior to now, I discovered that form of factor may be useful at occasions.
And I do know that simply, like, if you happen to learn a 300 web page ebook, for instance, 10 pages a day is one ebook monthly. However what I needed to do is simply, like, let myself be in a rhythm with it, not have any strict expectations of, like, I’ve gotta end a ebook each week or issues like that, however really having a identical to, I’m a reader, and meaning I learn books. And I simply wanna circle again to one thing else that I stated earlier, which is about taking time to arrange Goodreads. So what I did once I did that, there’s loads of ebook YouTubers. I don’t actually observe anybody within the ebook YouTube area, however I used to be like, I’m simply feeling caught.
So that is all, like, noticing the place the stuckness is and fixing it. And to me, that was ache with perfectionist ideas I used to unravel for and some sensible issues. And considered one of them was, like, I don’t really know what I wanna learn or if I even did end this ebook, what I’d learn subsequent, and I really feel prefer it’s kinda how I really feel with reveals, so I may apply this there with TV reveals that I’m going into this, like, ebook limbo anytime I end a ebook. So it’s primarily like I’m punished for ending a ebook as a result of I’ve to return into this ebook limbo and be like, what do I wanna learn? So I simply went on YouTube and likewise listened to a couple totally different movies from individuals about how they learn stuff like that.
Additionally, like, individuals’s suggestions for particular books, and I simply obtained, like, sufficient suggestions that I may begin someplace after which go along with it additionally. And if I like an creator, I simply learn extra of their books. So I’ve learn three Sally Hepworth books. I learn, as I stated, The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. Now I’m studying The Girls, which I really obtained as a present possibly two years in the past now, however simply hadn’t learn.
So issues like that. And, additionally, last item I’ll say is that I’ve began going to the library once more, not only for the youngsters as a result of we’re going for the youngsters, but in addition for myself, and simply placing books on maintain, going and selecting them up, studying them. And never as a result of there’s a timeframe as a result of my library, it’s thirty days. It’s a must to borrow it. And except it’s tremendous fashionable, it simply auto renews after that.
So you continue to have, like, a great two months to learn it. So it’s not like all time strain or issues like that. However once I wasn’t studying a lot, it didn’t make sense to borrow a ebook as a result of it might take me six months to complete. And, additionally, it was advantageous to purchase one new ebook a 12 months for the for which is $15. However once I was like, I’m really wanting to essentially be a prolific reader, like, have studying actually be one thing that I’m recurrently doing once more, it was like, nicely, I don’t need to purchase, like, spend, I don’t know, like, 50 to 100 {dollars} per monthly on fiction books.
I do choose to purchase the nonfiction books. I’ve carried out an episode manner again, however my system’s nonetheless very related. For once I learn a nonfiction ebook, like, highlighting it and tapping it primarily to only maintain me engaged. I don’t write ebook evaluations of issues. I don’t, like, attempt to seize each perception.
I simply love, like, being engaged with a nonfiction ebook in a sure manner, and I nonetheless do this with nonfiction, so I’ll have a tendency to purchase nonfiction. However for fiction, I typically find yourself simply giving it to pals anyway who’re readers. Like, I actually like this, after which I don’t typically it comes again to me. Generally it doesn’t. I don’t actually care as a result of I’m unlikely to learn a fiction ebook twice except it was an absolute standout.
However now that I’m studying much more, it simply doesn’t make sense to me to, like, accumulate that many books when it’s fiction. Nonfiction, I’m more likely to reread. And as I stated, I additionally, like, highlighted all of that, which you’ll’t do with a library ebook with a great conscience. So I simply, like, rein primarily, like, reinstated my in my head, my like, that I’m going to the library. Like, I’ll go once I’m there with the youngsters, I’ll go round and, like, browse, and that sounds leisurely.
It’s like a 3 minute whip round whereas whereas they’re contained whereas this meals was nonetheless prepared to sit down within the prance, which they’re virtually practically grown out of utterly. However I’ll go take a look, and, like, I’ll look on Goodreads and simply see, like, what’s the vibe of this ebook ideally above 4 stars. After which I’ll be like, cool. That’s ok, and I’ll learn that. So there’s that as nicely.
And simply, like, easy issues like this will really be such a giant blow up, however, like, I didn’t know find out how to log in to my account and put a ebook on maintain. Despite the fact that it’s very fundamental, I simply, like, hadn’t carried out that in, weeks a decade. So identical to, okay. I’m gonna click on round and, like, familiarize myself with how to try this in order that I do know that if I see a ebook and I wanna learn it, but it surely’s not accessible immediately, I can really put it on maintain. So simply sensible issues, however primarily mindset perfectionist stuff that simply had me feeling like like making it so laborious to do one thing that’s really quite simple.
And I simply wanna wrap up by saying if in case you have time to scroll, you will have time to learn. And, additionally, that is solely about, like, whether it is one thing you really wanna do. I don’t assume everybody must learn. Don’t learn if you happen to don’t need to. However if you happen to’re somebody like me who needs to, if you happen to really feel linked with your self, for no matter cause while you learn, it’s value prioritizing, particularly if you happen to’re in a season the place you will have competing priorities.
It’s value prioritizing, and that can imply letting go of tales you will have and simply actually gaining self consciousness round what’s stopping you from studying, like, the precise issues, not only a basic, I don’t have sufficient time, however why particularly. And if you happen to did have an entire day to learn, would you really even be capable of do this, or would you get caught or waste that point or find yourself doing one thing else since you simply don’t have readability on what you’re studying or the place you’re gonna get it from, all these sure issues? So, yeah, I hope that may be very useful.
Outro
In case you get pleasure from this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished (aka PGSD). This can be a program designed that will help you get out of your individual manner in your small business. You’re gonna discover ways to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a development purpose for your small business, planning correctly as a perfectionist with Energy Planning and getting common guilt-free clear relaxation. You’ll study the talents required to get out of your individual manner and be supported each step of the best way to do it.
Whereas the doorways to PGSD are at present closed, they are going to be opening once more quickly. So to search out out extra about this system and be a part of the waitlist immediately, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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