Studying is one thing I’ve at all times liked however over the previous couple of years, I learn much less and fewer. Between constructing my enterprise and elevating little ones, I struggled to search out the time.
On this episode, I’m sharing how I lately acquired again into the behavior of studying though I’m busier than ever. I discuss concerning the position that perfectionism was enjoying, how I let go of my excuses and created an easy-to-stick-to studying behavior that didn’t contain any drive or strain. This episode is stuffed with sensible recommendation so be sure you tune in at present.
To dive deeper: Need a simple approach to discover out if perfectionism is stopping your online business from rising? Take The Perfectionism Quiz at present – it’s free, takes lower than 3 minutes and provides you a personalised report that lays out the easy steps you may take to get out of your personal method. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.
For extra recommendation: Comply with me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for extra behind-the-scenes insights and help with getting out of your personal method in your online business.
For full help: Able to get out of your personal method in your online business? Be a part of the waitlist for my productiveness program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll grasp our easy, confirmed course of for getting shit performed with out burning out so you may lastly get your online business off the bottom.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Venture. A podcast filled with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own method and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed group teaching program, which is in any other case referred to as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your online business, you may comply with me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
I wanna do a fast intro for this episode as a result of this episode wasn’t truly meant to be an episode. So I posted on Instagram a number of weeks in the past now; I’m @perfectionism undertaking, when you aren’t following me there but. I posted about how I’ve been studying so many extra books and actually simply acquired over a variety of the reasons that I had about not having sufficient time as a result of I’ve little youngsters and all of that. And I requested if folks needed to listen to how I made that shift. And so many individuals mentioned sure.
So I used to be simply recording myself, speaking it out to get out of my head what the precise shifts have been. Like, how did I am going from studying perhaps, like, one ebook a yr, beginning a number of books, not ending them? Though I like studying, I wasn’t doing it from a spot of ought to. Like, I like love love love studying books, and but that wasn’t being mirrored in my actions. And the way did I am going from that to now commonly ending books, having the ability to simply really feel like I can say in good conscience, sure.
I’m truly a reader. I do learn books. So I needed to doc that a lot of it was associated to perfectionism that I had round studying and round time and various things like that. And so I hope it’s actually useful for me to simply undergo what these shifts have been. In the event you have been somebody who needs to be studying extra books, however you don’t wanna do it with the strain of, like, forcing your self to learn or, like, having to learn a sure variety of pages per day or, like, any of these issues, when you simply wanna even have the will to learn and end up studying though you’ve acquired a busy life, this episode is gonna be actually useful for you.
So we’re gonna clear it up a bit as a result of I used to be simply, like, chatting and saying no matter to simply try to doc the concepts, however I hope you discover it actually useful.
Sam Laura Brown
So primary is that when it has come to, principally, the choice to learn once more and to be dedicated to that and shifting out of I’ll do it if I’ve time and going into, like, I’m actively going to make time, and I’m prepared to unravel for something that’s despatched in the way in which of me having time for studying. I believe an enormous a part of it’s simply connecting again to and simply noticing even with, buddies and issues like that. Simply normally, I actually have a powerful id round being a ebook lover and somebody who reads books and loves books, and but I wasn’t truly studying actually in any respect. And it might take me, like, six months to complete a ebook if if I even learn one.
So I additionally was having a variety of perfectionism come up, which I’ll speak about particularly, however it was actually simply the will to do one thing that simply felt like me, and studying simply at all times feels very very like me it doesn’t matter what I’m studying. Usually, private improvement or fiction or no matter, I really feel extra linked with myself. I really feel very energized and, like, recharged by studying, and I simply actually have at all times loved studying books. So it began with that need. It wasn’t from a spot of ought to or, like, folks in like, with profitable companies learn this quantity per day or something like that.
Not that there’s something improper with that, however for me, like, I’m not there’s something improper with, like, introducing your self to studying if it’s one thing you’ve by no means performed however you wanna do extra of for no matter motive. However for me, the explanation was simply, like, having time doing one thing that felt like me and simply noticing even studying fifteen minutes a day had a dramatic influence on how linked with myself that I felt. Like, it simply felt like actually honoring one thing that was necessary to me and prioritizing myself, and it didn’t have to take a lot time to do this for me to really feel that method. So I simply actually, like, recommitted to studying books and never simply beginning them and perhaps ending them, however, like, I’m gonna begin studying. From that time, I then checked out actually diving into, like, what’s standing in the way in which of me studying And the place am I getting caught with studying?
Clearly, when you’ve the generic, like, I don’t have sufficient time, that’s frequent to have. However, actually, it’s simply that I wasn’t making time, and I wasn’t making time due to a number of sure issues. One is that I hadn’t actually accessed the resourcefulness or permission to learn at sure occasions. So I used to be form of simply telling myself, I can solely learn my ebook when the youngsters are napping or when Steve’s at work, and it’s not time for me and Steve to hang around, and it’s not time for me and the youngsters. However, additionally, one thing I observed was that I really need my youngsters to know me, and though they’re nonetheless fairly little in the intervening time, that I need them to see me doing issues I get pleasure from doing and never suppose that my hobbies are enjoying magnet tiles with them or pushing them on the swing.
Like, I additionally produce other issues I get pleasure from doing, and so they love studying, and I wanna, like, foster a love for studying in them. However, additionally, I simply need them to know me and to see what I get pleasure from doing and that I get pleasure from doing a lot of completely different sorts of issues. So I wanted to principally, like, redefine once I was allowed to learn and what that might appear to be. So as a substitute of simply solely having the ability to learn throughout nap time, after which that was the one time I additionally had in my head to have the ability to train and to have the ability to do sure different issues, it simply felt a lot tougher. However once I was like, truly, I can learn whereas they’re away, I can learn, like, in the event that they’re enjoying one thing, and now they’re at an age the place they will play collectively.
I’ve a nearly 4 yr outdated and a twin two yr olds and a child different method. They will play collectively a bit extra as effectively. So it’s simply updating, like, truly, I’m in a distinct season now with completely different circumstances, and my mind was form of pondering I nonetheless have basically, like, very small twins and a toddler, however I don’t anymore. So there’s that. Typically our mind simply doesn’t acknowledge we’re not in the identical circumstances that we as soon as have been in.
And it’s not that this wouldn’t have utilized then, however I believe there’s additionally simply energy in acknowledging that, circumstantially, I’m in a distinct scenario. So the story I’ve that I don’t have time for studying isn’t even when it was ever true, it’s not as true because it was once circumstantially. So there was that too, however simply being like, I can truly learn whereas the youngsters are enjoying. I can learn like, as a substitute of me hanging out with Zeep, I can learn. I can learn.
So we normally watch two episodes of Bluey earlier than mattress. I can learn whereas they’re watching Bluey. I don’t want to take a seat there and watch the identical episodes of Bluey I’ve already seen. And I can if I need, however I can even have that, like, fifteen minutes to simply learn on the sofa subsequent to them. In order that’s already simply by studying as a substitute of watching with them, that’s already, like, over an hour of studying each week and only a set off for me as effectively that when it’s time, that’s once I’m studying.
So these issues actually helped simply opening up once I was allowed to learn, getting out of the mindset that I would like to have the ability to learn an enormous chunk of the ebook, like, I would like the total hour. And, additionally, like, the extra open you might be to seeing you don’t want that a lot time, when you truly file your self studying for an hour, like, that’s a really vital chunk of studying time. So what I are likely to do is a pair issues that assist with this. One is that if I can swing it and whether or not that’s if I get up early reasonably than, like, fluffing round the home, I’ll learn my ebook or various things like that. Like, there are pockets the place I’ve a extra vital time to learn if I’m ready for Steve to get house from work, however the youngsters are already in mattress, stuff like that, and simply being aware.
I’m not gonna be scrolling or doing that, beginning to have the behavior of I’m gonna go to my ebook. However having a much bigger chunk of time or, like, getting via the primary fifty or so pages as rapidly as potential is actually useful. If I’m not get right into a ebook, like, I haven’t I’m nonetheless attempting to determine what the premise is, who the characters are, notably primarily studying fiction. So if I haven’t gotten, like, invested within the story, then it simply requires extra effort to go and decide up the ebook. So I wish to try to get via the primary fifty pages as rapidly as I can and actually take into consideration that fifty pages otherwise to the remainder of the ebook.
And much like the tip of the ebook, I acquired this from Cal Newport. He had a number of nice YouTube movies about how you can learn extra and the way he reads 5 books per thirty days and simply, like, how he thinks about studying. And one factor he mentioned was, like, having a bit of while you’re near ending the ebook, doing a closing push to get it performed form of reasonably than, like, chipping away on the finish. So when you can, do a much bigger studying session to get it accomplished and see it over the ending line. And this isn’t like you need to consider it this fashion eternally, however simply, like, when you’re creating the habits.
However I discovered that actually useful to have that preliminary dive in after which additionally having a push on the finish of the ebook to, simply hold that momentum going as effectively. So there’s that. The opposite factor is that to essentially simply get again into studying, I let go of any, like, that is what you need to learn or, like, suggestions for books that I believe I’ll discover fascinating, however I don’t truly really feel notably into studying. Then I kinda simply let go of that. I used to be like, I’m simply gonna learn no matter I really feel like.
And if that’s, like, tremendous straightforward gentle books to learn, I’m gonna let myself learn that. I don’t need to learn something too deep or, like, that requires a lot of psychological power, particularly getting again into the behavior. I don’t wanna have books that require a variety of psychological power as a result of typically, like, I do have to have a ebook. And I discovered truly having a few books on the go may be actually useful as a result of typically I’m actually having fun with the ebook, however, truly, I don’t I’m simply not within the temper for that form of ebook. So, for instance, I used to be studying The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, and I actually did get pleasure from, if that’s the correct phrase for that form of ebook, loved that ebook.
However as a result of it’s such a heavy ebook with the context of battle and issues like that, that if I’d had a a extremely lengthy day with the youngsters or no matter, I simply didn’t really feel like studying a a like, an emotionally heavy ebook. I needed one thing extra, like, gentle and enjoyable to learn and, like, extra of an escape, so to talk. So I finished studying that ebook and picked it up about six months later and completed it, however I believe simply having a, like, a lighter ebook and a heavier ebook, it doesn’t need to be, like, a fiction and a nonfiction, however, like, one thing that’s straightforward to learn after which one thing that’s a bit, that you simply nonetheless have the will. It’s not from this place of, like, ought to or no matter, however it may very well be a bit extra advanced or intricate or emotionally taxing that I simply discover that having a few books on the go is actually useful to have the ability to learn once I need to learn, however not be compelled to learn one thing I’m actually not within the temper for. So there’s that.
I additionally simply invested a while into truly, like, getting, like, determining what I need to learn as a result of I discovered, like, once I had if I had time to learn, I wouldn’t as a result of I simply didn’t even know what I needed to learn as a result of I’d gotten so many alternative books. I had so many alternative suggestions, and I kinda felt like as effectively the much less I learn, the extra strain I felt to truly learn one thing that was positively gonna be good, which is a perfectionist factor for certain. So what I did as a substitute, I simply was like, I’m going to restart my Goodreads and, like, truly monitoring what I’m studying, and so I do know precisely what I’m studying and what I’m not studying. I had been utilizing Goodreads, however I had so many like, any ebook basically that I’d began, I had put underneath studying. After which I discovered that I had, like, eight books that I used to be studying.
That’s too many to be clear about what I’m truly studying. And, additionally, a variety of these books are like, I don’t even suppose I wanna end that ebook. I there’s some perfectionist actually actually, like, if as soon as they began, they really feel like they’ve to complete it, and so they received’t enable themselves to do anything, however I’ve not been in that perfectionist thought sample. On the subject of studying, I’m actually prepared to simply cease studying a ebook, even when there’s 50 pages left. If it’s shit, I’m simply not gonna end it.
And that’s I name that full. I don’t really feel any, like, dangerous emotions about it. I’ll say on the 50 web page to go mark, I, like, wouldn’t normally make it to that time until it’s an honest ebook, however I’m simply prepared to be like, okay. That ebook’s not for me or not for proper now, and I’m simply gonna name it full. So I went into Goodreads, and I truly simply, like something that was half like, I’d began, however I actually didn’t even have the intention to complete.
I simply put again into, like, need to learn, and I simply left in my studying class. Like, I believe it was simply, like, one or two books I used to be truly dedicated to ending. So a part of that was, once more, letting go, like, oh, however I ought to end it as a result of I began it. I technically am studying it or no matter. Similar to, truly, what am I gonna what am I dedicated to ending if it’s good?
I simply let that be the brand new, like, having one or two books in my presently studying, or if I’ve three, there may be a lighter ebook, a heavier ebook, after which an audiobook as effectively. So I had been telling myself a narrative that I didn’t like listening to fiction books on, like, the audiobooks as a result of it, like, I discovered that if I simply zoned out and since if I’m listening whereas I’m, like, driving or no matter, one thing such as you hear one thing, your mind simply wanders, and then you definately’re like, I don’t even know who I don’t even know what’s taking place on this ebook anymore. And I listened to Harry Potter on audiobook. Wonderful. However, principally, anything, I simply began telling myself this story that I can’t do fiction audiobooks.
And I’ve a ebook membership with a number of buddies, and we have been speaking about I used to be like, I’m truly simply gonna, like, problem my thought of that as a result of it’s feeling actually restrictive, and I would really like to have the ability to learn not simply nonfiction on audiobooks, however fiction too. And so I learn a ebook, Society of Lies, after which I learn what else was it? Venture Hail Mary, I learn with the audiobook. And once I modified my ideas, like, truly, I I get pleasure from studying fiction on an audiobook, I loved it. I might sustain.
Like, I didn’t select something loopy heavy, to learn or, like, requiring a lot of focus. And that was actually nice too, simply having one other choice to learn, and I let that depend as a ebook. In order that’s the opposite factor is that me perfectionist may be like, effectively, we now have these guidelines, and if it doesn’t meet the principles, it doesn’t depend. After which simply, like, discredit ourselves or hold us other than the actions and id that we wanna have simply due to some made up rule. Like, an audiobook doesn’t depend.
It must be, like, a bodily ebook that I learn for it to depend. I’m not like there’s no ebook police that I’m attempting to appease. Like, I simply truly wanna learn and have like, I like the lengthy type of tales. And so I don’t see why I believe it depend or not depend. So I tracked them this in Goodreads the identical as I do a bodily ebook as effectively.
And I like studying a mixture as a result of there’s a variety of occasions I like simply having a bodily ebook. No. It’s, like, so low stimulus in comparison with screens and issues like that. I simply sit on the entrance deck tremendous good, doing that. And different occasions, like, whereas I’m driving, as a substitute of, like, listening to podcasts solely, it’s like, I truly wanna hearken to a ebook, and I do this.
So there’s that. Principally, the theme of that is simply, like, opening up all the principles that I had about what it needs to be like. So there’s that additionally simply, like, having the ebook simply accessible. So, like, leaving it on the kitchen island or simply, like, out in plain sight was actually useful too simply so I had that additional immediate to learn it. And, additionally and this isn’t, like, a revolutionary concept, however it was useful to listen to.
Cal Newport, once more, was the one who really useful this, however he simply mentioned about, like, having your personal little ritual or, like, making studying as pleasing as potential. And so simply sitting out on my entrance deck and simply having a cup of tea or no matter or some music if I need to, however we now have a extremely lovely, like, outlook from our entrance deck that we dwell on acreage with a lot of timber. It principally is sort of a treehouse while you’re on our entrance deck, and we now have this actually excessive vary ceiling, and it’s simply, like, I really feel surrounded by nature once I’m there. So doing that as effectively and simply, like, having little locations that I like studying, it’s primarily there or simply upon, like, wherever works if I’m taking care of the youngsters on the similar time. And I’m nonetheless clearly, I’m not, like, deep in studying if I’m additionally supervising them, enjoying in our pattern or issues like that.
However I can learn sufficient, and, yeah, I simply have allowed myself to do this and simply seeing how as effectively the extra I’ve performed that, the extra into studying they’ve been. Or like, mommy, right here’s your ebook and issues like that, that it simply has been very nice to to see and to, like, enable myself to have hobbies and different issues I like doing whereas taking care of the youngsters and never, like, compartmentalizing. There’s issues I do once I’m with the youngsters, which is all about them. After which in my private time, so to talk, once they’re asleep or they’re utterly occupied or no matter, then I can do different issues. It’s similar to, truly, I might love them to know me, and I might love them to see me doing that and to additionally encourage them to do this if they need or, like, ask me about what I’m feeding and issues like that.
In order that has been actually useful. And, yeah, I believe they’re the principle issues. Principally, I don’t have any set guidelines round, like, minimums. I don’t have like, it must be ten minutes a day or it must be fifteen minute 15 pages or one thing like that. And prior to now, I discovered that form of factor may be useful at occasions.
And I do know that simply, like, when you learn a 300 web page ebook, for instance, 10 pages a day is one ebook per thirty days. However what I needed to do is simply, like, let myself be in a rhythm with it, not have any strict expectations of, like, I’ve gotta end a ebook each week or issues like that, however truly having a similar to, I’m a reader, and meaning I learn books. And I simply wanna circle again to one thing else that I mentioned earlier, which is about taking time to arrange Goodreads. So what I did once I did that, there’s a variety of ebook YouTubers. I don’t actually comply with anybody within the ebook YouTube area, however I used to be like, I’m simply feeling caught.
So that is all, like, noticing the place the stuckness is and fixing it. And to me, that was ache with perfectionist ideas I used to unravel for and some sensible issues. And one in every of them was, like, I don’t truly know what I wanna learn or if I even did end this ebook, what I’d learn subsequent, and I really feel prefer it’s kinda how I really feel with reveals, so I might apply this there with TV reveals that I am going into this, like, ebook limbo anytime I end a ebook. So it’s basically like I’m punished for ending a ebook as a result of I’ve to return into this ebook limbo and be like, what do I wanna learn? So I simply went on YouTube and likewise listened to some completely different movies from folks about how they learn stuff like that.
Additionally, like, folks’s suggestions for particular books, and I simply acquired, like, sufficient suggestions that I might begin someplace after which go along with it additionally. And if I like an writer, I simply learn extra of their books. So I’ve learn three Sally Hepworth books. I learn, as I mentioned, The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. Now I’m studying The Ladies, which I truly acquired as a present perhaps two years in the past now, however simply hadn’t learn.
So issues like that. And, additionally, last item I’ll say is that I’ve began going to the library once more, not only for the youngsters as a result of we’re going for the youngsters, but additionally for myself, and simply placing books on maintain, going and selecting them up, studying them. And never as a result of there’s a time-frame as a result of my library, it’s thirty days. It’s a must to borrow it. And until it’s tremendous standard, it simply auto renews after that.
So you continue to have, like, a great two months to learn it. So it’s not like several time strain or issues like that. However once I wasn’t studying a lot, it didn’t make sense to borrow a ebook as a result of it might take me six months to complete. And, additionally, it was nice to purchase one new ebook a yr for the for which is $15. However once I was like, I’m truly wanting to essentially be a prolific reader, like, have studying actually be one thing that I’m commonly doing once more, it was like, effectively, I don’t need to purchase, like, spend, I don’t know, like, 50 to 100 {dollars} per per thirty days on fiction books.
I do favor to purchase the nonfiction books. I’ve performed an episode method again, however my system’s nonetheless very related. For once I learn a nonfiction ebook, like, highlighting it and tapping it primarily to simply hold me engaged. I don’t write ebook critiques of issues. I don’t, like, try to seize each perception.
I simply love, like, being engaged with a nonfiction ebook in a sure method, and I nonetheless do this with nonfiction, so I’ll have a tendency to purchase nonfiction. However for fiction, I usually find yourself simply giving it to buddies anyway who’re readers. Like, I actually like this, after which I don’t typically it comes again to me. Typically it doesn’t. I don’t actually care as a result of I’m unlikely to learn a fiction ebook twice until it was an absolute standout.
However now that I’m studying much more, it simply doesn’t make sense to me to, like, accumulate that many books when it’s fiction. Nonfiction, I’m more likely to reread. And as I mentioned, I additionally, like, highlighted all of that, which you’ll’t do with a library ebook with a great conscience. So I simply, like, rein basically, like, reinstated my in my head, my like, that I am going to the library. Like, I’ll go once I’m there with the youngsters, I’ll go round and, like, browse, and that sounds leisurely.
It’s like a 3 minute whip round whereas whereas they’re contained whereas this meals was nonetheless prepared to take a seat within the prance, which they’re nearly almost grown out of utterly. However I’ll go take a look, and, like, I’ll look on Goodreads and simply see, like, what’s the vibe of this ebook ideally above 4 stars. After which I’ll be like, cool. That’s ok, and I’ll learn that. So there’s that as effectively.
And simply, like, easy issues like this may truly be such an enormous blow up, however, like, I didn’t know how you can log in to my account and put a ebook on maintain. Though it’s very fundamental, I simply, like, hadn’t performed that in, weeks a decade. So similar to, okay. I’m gonna click on round and, like, familiarize myself with how to do this in order that I do know that if I see a ebook and I wanna learn it, however it’s not obtainable instantly, I can truly put it on maintain. So simply sensible issues, however primarily mindset perfectionist stuff that simply had me feeling like like making it so onerous to do one thing that’s truly quite simple.
And I simply wanna wrap up by saying if in case you have time to scroll, you’ve time to learn. And, additionally, that is solely about, like, whether it is one thing you truly wanna do. I don’t suppose everybody must learn. Don’t learn when you don’t need to. However when you’re somebody like me who needs to, when you really feel linked with your self, for no matter motive while you learn, it’s value prioritizing, particularly when you’re in a season the place you’ve competing priorities.
It’s value prioritizing, and that can imply letting go of tales you’ve and simply actually gaining self consciousness round what’s stopping you from studying, like, the particular issues, not only a common, I don’t have sufficient time, however why particularly. And when you did have a complete day to learn, would you truly even be capable of do this, or would you get caught or waste that point or find yourself doing one thing else since you simply don’t have readability on what you’re studying or the place you’re gonna get it from, all these sure issues? So, yeah, I hope that could be very useful.
Outro
In the event you get pleasure from this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program referred to as Perfectionists Getting Shit Executed (aka PGSD). It is a program designed that will help you get out of your personal method in your online business. You’re gonna discover ways to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a progress objective for your online business, planning correctly as a perfectionist with Energy Planning and getting common guilt-free clear relaxation. You’ll be taught the talents required to get out of your personal method and be supported each step of the way in which to do it.
Whereas the doorways to PGSD are presently closed, they are going to be opening once more quickly. So to search out out extra about this system and be a part of the waitlist at present, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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