It’s tempting to have a look at others in our trade to see if we’re doing issues the suitable manner, particularly when others are extra profitable than us. We would have a look at what others are doing to determine what we plan to do in our enterprise.
There are occasions when following others’ recommendation is smart, but there are additionally occasions when following our personal instinct is best. On this episode, I need to discuss to you about when to do issues your individual manner, why it’s secure to take action and the best way to productively examine your self to others in your trade. Tune in right now!
Discover the total episode transcript and present notes at samlaurabrown.com/episode519.
What To Do Subsequent
In case you’re able to get out of your individual manner in your small business, you need to be part of my productiveness program for perfectionists who’re constructing companies known as Perfectionists Getting Shit Performed. Click on right here to seek out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist right now: samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Venture. A podcast stuffed with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own manner and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the perfectionist getting shit carried out group teaching program, which is in any other case often known as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that can assist you with your small business, you possibly can observe me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)
Okay. One other episode for you this week. And what I’ve been doing goes by means of the podcast, all of our 500+ episodes and hand-selecting ones that I believe are important so that you can hearken to as a perfectionist, who’s making an attempt to construct a enterprise, particularly in the event you’re within the stage proper now the place you’re scuffling with productiveness.
So this episode is essential and I extremely encourage you to pay attention the entire manner by means of. I needed to re launch it as a result of it has helped so many individuals and which means there’s an excellent likelihood that it’s going to enable you too.
And in the event you occur to hearken to it on the time that it initially got here out, that I believe it will be a good time now to hearken to it once more, as a result of you may be at a distinct place fascinated by various things and it is possible for you to to take a lot from it. In order that’s why I’m sharing it with you. And I hope you benefit from the episode.
Sam Laura Brown
On this episode, I need to discuss to you about the best way to belief that you’re constructing your small business the suitable manner. And I say the suitable manner, as a result of that’s how we have a tendency to consider it. However from the get go, I simply need to point out there isn’t a proper or incorrect manner. And we are able to get so caught and paralyzed. And in our heads once we are considering, there’s a proper manner and a incorrect manner. And if we do it, the suitable manner will likely be profitable.
If we do it the incorrect manner, will likely be unsuccessful, it’s simply black and white all or nothing considering, as a substitute of actually recognizing that there are such a lot of methods to get to your targets. And so some ways for your small business to work, there are such a lot of variations that might achieve success of your small business mannequin. There are such a lot of totally different platforms that you possibly can select to be on and you possibly can select to not be on.
So for instance, you possibly can select to be on Instagram and never on TikTok or you possibly can select to have a podcast and never have a YouTube channel. Or you possibly can select to simply do every part through e mail, or you possibly can select simply to do every part in particular person. There’s no like proper place to be, there’s no proper supply that it is advisable to have to your shoppers or your clients. There’s no proper pricing, proper Instagram, social media technique, and actually studying the best way to belief ourselves and belief our future self, and never even our future self, that they’ve the solutions.
And that is one thing that I used to be actually fascinated by the opposite day after I was performing some self teaching by means of the lens of getting a dialog with my future self, that I used to be being actually aware. And I hadn’t even considered this earlier than. And I simply needed to say this from the highest is that with regards to belief in our future self, what’s the strongest factor to do is have our future self be the coach, because it had been within the sense {that a} coach doesn’t provide you with solutions, they enable you come to your individual solutions.
And so if we consider our future self, as being our coach, and that while you’re doing a q&a, for instance, together with your future self, so together with your journal, you ask a query to your future self, you then enter it and shuttle till you get the readability and conclusion it is advisable to and as a substitute of getting your future self inform you what to do. You have got your future self ask you questions, in order that your current day self can inform you what to do after I was doing that in my journaling the opposite day myself teaching, it was so totally different. And I simply needed to share that right here. So anyway, this complete episode, we’re simply going to be chatting about the best way to belief that you’re constructing your small business the suitable manner.
And I need to say that is one thing that comes up particularly if you’re tending to match your self with or have a look at different companies in your trade, what they’re doing, how they’re advertising, how they’re pricing, what their product is like, or their providers like what the house owners or entrepreneurs or whoever is spending their time doing. And people sorts of issues to try to work out what we needs to be doing, or how we needs to be pricing or how we needs to be displaying up on social media in the event you had been doing that. And significantly in the event you’re companies which can be making extra money than you. And so that you’re type of placing them up on a pedestal and considering they know higher as a result of they’re extra profitable than I’m.
In thereby, I must be sure that I’m doing it the identical manner they’re doing it. And we’ve this mind-set that they’re profitable due to, so an instance can be due to the sorts of photographs they put up on Instagram and the best way that they’ve a sure type of caption whether or not or what number of occasions they put up or what time of day they put up or what number of tales they do, or all these little issues that we predict that’s the reason that they’re profitable, when it’s truly not the rationale they’re profitable.
So we’re very misguided, and are getting it misinformation in a way once we draw the conclusion that they’re profitable due to that, as a substitute of recognizing that they’re profitable, due to the ideas that they’re having. And in the event you had comparable ideas to them, they is likely to be useful for you they won’t be and people comparable ideas may truly lead you to totally different conclusions, and a distinct advertising technique or totally different pricing or a distinct product.
And I needed to speak about this as a result of I’ve witnessed this with our PGSDers. I’ve witnessed it in my very own journey the place I’ve actually been considering like there’s a proper manner and a incorrect manner and I need to be certain I’m doing the suitable manner and I’ve observed how particularly over the past couple of years, possibly particularly over the past 12 months, I’ve much less and fewer been on this place of like there’s a proper option to do it and a incorrect manner and simply actually settling into I truly do know, like what I’m doing. And it’s you may suppose, in fact you suppose that since you do know what you’re doing, however I’ve had that thought out there to me for a very long time.
And I’ve chosen to not suppose it and I’ve chosen that different folks would know higher. I’ve additionally seen within the mastermind that I’m in. I’ve seen folks in there. And it’s simply an instance of like, it’s a lot extra apparent when others are doing it that you would be able to see like, Oh, sure, I’ve carried out that too. However I’m to some extent nonetheless doing it to that, within the mastermind. I’m seeing folks in that mastermind who’re very centered on doing issues the suitable manner. And in a manner that Stacey, who’s a frontrunner would approve of and having to do it the identical manner that she does it, which isn’t what she teaches.
She doesn’t educate it that you must do it precisely the best way she’s doing it. She’s educating away considering the identical manner that in PGSD, I’m educating a mind-set, as a result of that each one teaching is, and once we are very centered on being proper or incorrect, we regularly find yourself spending a lot time spinning our wheels, that is when as nicely, they could be a lot of procrasti-learning happening and leaping from one factor to the following to the following factor to when we’ve all of the tabs open in our browser.
And also you is likely to be everybody else’s gross sales pages and making an attempt to determine, okay, what’s the suitable option to do it, and pricing, marriage ceremony, all of that type of factor. Or folks’s Instagram and seeing how typically they’re posting and all various things. And utilizing emojis the identical manner they use emojis, or the identical name to motion, or all these various things that we’re considering that the best way that we’re displaying up or that different individuals are displaying up is what creates the outcomes when it’s not.
And we’re additionally devaluing the truth that we do like what we’ve realized, that doesn’t imply we don’t have issues to be taught, and that there isn’t room for enchancment, however we do know sufficient, and that it’s secure to belief ourselves. And it’s secure to attract a conclusion that’s totally different to or have a enterprise mannequin or a technique that’s totally different to somebody who’s making extra money in the identical trade, to have a distinct enterprise mannequin or technique to your coach to have a distinct manner of doing issues to different folks that you just admire.
Or an professional who has, you already know, been doing one thing for therefore a few years, that you’d have a distinct conclusion on what the easiest way is for you. And being keen to honor that and worth that. And to have the ability to have these conversations with your self. So you possibly can actually inform and discern, when your development is to do issues in a manner that doesn’t really feel comfy with you. And to teach your self on that. And get out of your individual manner with that. And while you’re development is to truly do it in a manner that does really feel good to you.
And be keen to present your self that permission, even when an professional won’t agree or like imagining that they wouldn’t agree and even when your coach is doing it a distinct manner, or the folks you look as much as or who’re making extra money and doing it a distinct manner that pay to try this. And it’s actually like recognizing that there are such a lot of recipes for the way we are able to create a profitable enterprise. And that by the character of a being a recipe that it’s going to have to be put up in a transparent manner with it been step-by-step.
So I talked about this a bit on the finish of the episode I did on the best way to say no, after you’ve already mentioned sure. However for instance, with baking some blueberry muffins, that if it was like, Okay, you should use a cup of flour. Or if you wish to, you possibly can use two cups, or possibly you possibly can use half a cup like all of them work and up to now given all these choices, after which possibly you possibly can use 100 grams of butter or 150 or like they usually’ve been all these thousands and thousands of combos inside this recipe, it will be so overwhelming that we might by no means find yourself with the blueberry muffins.
But when it’s right here, you want a cup of flour, you want 125 grams of butter, you want a punnett of blueberries and no matter. It’s not that it’s the suitable manner, the one manner however it’s a manner and by it being laid out clearly, we are able to observe that. And so it’s so necessary if you find yourself following another person’s course of for issues. And as we do anytime we’re studying one thing from another person, that we acknowledge that it’s not the one option to do it. And that that’s a technique that works.
And there are different variations of that that work too. And it’s okay for us to decide on one other variation of that, once more bought to be unto ourselves once we try to enter a distinct variation simply as a option to simply keep away from discomfort and we’re type of self sabotaging, it’s completely regular to try this, don’t beat your self up in the event you’re doing that. However to know there are occasions the place it positively is smart to deviate from what you see others round you doing and to essentially be true to your self.
And even at the start, while you’re nonetheless figuring that out, to know that you just do have knowledge and data and steerage that you would be able to give your self round it. And that as you make choices and check them, doesn’t imply simply because you may have like instinct or data round it that you just’re going to make, you already know, all of your selections are going to work within the sense that they’re going to have the end result that you just needed or predicted that they might. However I believe the easiest way to calibrate and recalibrate our enterprise sense and data and instinct.
And all of that’s to have like be taught from others, sure, but in addition having it by means of the filter of like our future self, and our self picture and our development purpose and our massive image imaginative and prescient for the enterprise that we’ve. After which if there are tweaks and variations to that, to have them after which check it do an analysis. And that is the place in PGSD while you’re doing all of your development purpose, energy planning, all of that type of factor, we’ve the weekly critiques, then the quarterly and annual evaluate in addition to one that you’re reflecting as a result of it’s crucial that you just try this. As a result of lots of occasions we identical to I simply have a sense that’s not working, I must do one thing totally different.
After which we deviate from one thing that was working, simply because we hadn’t truly evaluated it in an goal manner. Or simply as a result of we hadn’t given it sufficient time that we had been in a rush. And there are different issues happening there. So we need to be fascinated by if you find yourself constructing your small business, trusting your self to construct it the suitable manner. And that it’s secure to belief your self that particularly if you find yourself doing weekly critiques, your quarterly evaluate your annual evaluate, you aren’t going to guide your self astray.
And once we place all this belief and everybody else over ourselves, then we’re not capable of then have the ability to again ourselves once we are in conditions the place we have to be resourceful or the place we have to overcome resistance with a view to observe by means of with one thing that’s in our greatest curiosity, although it’s uncomfortable. We weren’t having that self belief, we’re not capable of observe by means of with our plans on a weekly foundation, we’re not capable of truly try issues that may fail as a result of we are able to’t belief ourselves that we’ll be okay on the opposite aspect of any emotion, any painful emotion that we would must really feel.
So once we are different folks’s companies, as a result of I believe we’ve this tendency as people to match. And I believe that’s very primitive, being that we do within the sense that like, primitive, primal, like, it’s one thing that we’re all the time fascinated by subconsciously is will we slot in with the gang? Are we belonging? Are we lovable, all of these sure issues? And so to simply know that we’re like, folks say, nicely, don’t examine your self to others.
What if we thought, okay, nicely, I’m in all probability going to match myself to others, possibly I received’t. And I believe if we cease telling ourselves, such as you shouldn’t examine ourselves, or examine your self to different folks, we’re going to be much less more likely to truly do it once we stopped making this factor we’re not allowed to do, however to simply acknowledge, like, Hey, we’re human, we’re going to be doing that. However let’s take into consideration the best way to truly examine ourselves.
To our mentors, our coaches, others within the trade, particularly others within the trade, who’re making extra money, how we are able to examine ourselves in a productive manner. And what we need to take away from what different individuals are doing and what we are able to see they’re doing. So if we’re simply their motion, so for instance, with Instagram, like I had talked about that in the event you’re considering, you already know, the variety of occasions a put up per week, and the sorts of photos that you just use, and the sorts of captions they write, say, they may write a protracted caption, they may put up a photograph of themselves, knowledgeable photograph of themselves.
They may put up on tales like 5 occasions a day, and share sure belongings you is likely to be considering that’s why they’re profitable. When actually, it’s the best way they’re fascinated by themselves, their supply their clients, their followers, their time. That’s what’s creating the outcome. And so you possibly can have a look at that introduce, what should they be considering for them to determine that that was a good suggestion. And to additionally it’s so fascinating to you even acknowledge that they may truly be making the cash they’re making regardless of their Instagram technique, not due to it.
And we predict like, it’s this all or nothing considering in the event that they’re profitable they usually’re getting cash, then every part they’re doing of their enterprise is true when the truth is that there will likely be issues of their enterprise which can be doing the heavy lifting for them. They usually’re making them that cash coming from the ideas, they’re having the top quality ideas, then there are issues that they’re doing, which can be truly not working, it’s a mixture, it’s all the time a mixture, as a result of anybody in enterprise is all the time experimenting with issues.
So it’s all the time going to be a mixture. So there are some issues that aren’t working. They usually’re getting their outcomes, regardless of that factor, not working, which is nice information to know that we will be tremendous profitable and have a very massive influence with our enterprise with out every part needing to work. But when we have a look at it and suppose, nicely, I’ve to repeat or need to do the identical as them for each single space as a result of it have to be working, you is likely to be truly following an Instagram technique that doesn’t even work for them, not to mention you.
Due to that each one on our theme, had been you fascinated by it. So as a substitute, we need to replicate on how they have to be considering. And for instance, if you’re listening to say, for instance, somebody speaking about Instagram technique, as a result of I’ve been utilizing that as the instance, if you’re listening to somebody speaking about that, as a substitute of specializing in what they are saying are the methods and techniques and issues to determine the best way that they’re fascinated by themselves.
And their supply their clients, their followers, their time and that aspect of issues, greater than what they’re saying when it comes to based mostly on that his technique that they created. So for instance, in the event you had been to observe the identical technique, have them say that their technique is efficient for them with regards to Instagram. However you don’t consider that what you do is definitely useful for folks. And also you say you don’t consider you may have an actual enterprise, you possibly can observe precisely the identical technique, and it’s not going to work. Or you possibly can observe it and it’ll work.
Regardless of once more, we don’t must have good ideas with a view to have our enterprise be what we wish it to be in to realize our development targets. However we need to be how they have to be considering. And so a couple of examples of this, I simply need to share like experiences I’ve observed the place I will likely be fascinated by one thing in the same manner, after which come to a totally totally different conclusion. And the primary time I actually began to note this was as a college pupil, considered one of my actually expensive associates, we had been unbelievable research buddies collectively. And particularly with all our on the regulation aspect, as a result of she didn’t do commerce as nicely.
So we did our regulation topics collectively. And we might all the time discuss, you already know, for the assignments, what we’re going to do like what sort of method we might take, and we’d brainstorm concepts and issues collectively. After which once we had been finding out, we’d additionally do the identical. And it was so fascinating to me that we might have a dialog. So we’d have like an hour brainstorming session. And we might work out, Okay, I believe that is what the professor means with this subject. And we type of discuss these things and that stuff and no matter, then we might go away, and we’d write the project, and we’ll come again.
And they might be fully totally different, like fully totally different, although we had been fascinated by it in the same manner that once we’re fascinated by it in that manner, by means of our personal data and filters and the best way we take into consideration the world and the matters and all that, that we might create a distinct end result. The identical I believe is actually true with me and my good friend, Jen, who I’ve talked about on the podcast, considered one of my enterprise associates who I am keen on a lot. And we’ve the very best brainstorming tremendous considering classes collectively. So we discuss all kinds of issues. And it’s scary.
And hilarious how typically we’re on precisely the identical web page about issues. And it was humorous the opposite day message I used to be like it is advisable to come on the podcast so we are able to chat about simplifying and decluttering your small business and like only a subject that I believe we’d each love to talk about collectively and be tremendous, tremendous useful to have it right here on the podcast. And I hadn’t met we hadn’t talked for possibly like a month earlier than that. And he or she was like I simply had the thought 4 hours in the past as a result of so I had emailed her about that subject that I ought to go on.
Ship this podcast and discuss that. And that day that I had message out, like proper off the bat once we hadn’t spoken in so lengthy and so many issues like, Hey, do you occur to know your human designs, like I used to be that right now. So anyway, we’re very a lot on the identical web page. And take into consideration issues, comparatively talking in a really comparable manner. And but, we’ve made such totally different choices when it comes to our enterprise fashions. And when it comes to the place we spend our time and various things like that.
And it simply jogs my memory each time that occurs, that it’s actually necessary to concentrate on the considering as a substitute of specializing in the actions once we are evaluating ourselves to others to essentially concentrate or to decide on. However if you’re listening to them discuss, you’ll hear their beliefs all all through what they’re saying and in addition what they don’t seem to be saying. And to consider, okay, what beliefs may they’ve, underpinning these choices, that may very well be useful to me, after which adopting anybody do you suppose is likely to be useful and leaving the remaining, after which that being it to not then go, Okay, now I’ve to do, like, observe their actual Instagram technique.
So I hope that this will possibly enable you begin to discover while you is likely to be trying to others actions, and giving them credit score for the outcomes they’ve, as a substitute of how they have to be feeling and considering and to know that they’re not considering and feeling completely. And also you don’t must both, you possibly can create a very profitable enterprise with and that is one thing that Stacey Boehman, my coach says, like you possibly can have a very profitable enterprise with a half managed thoughts or one thing like that.
That’s I discover that basically liberating. And it’s one thing we discuss on a regular basis in PGSD, that it’s not all or nothing, that you must be like, you’re doing this good self teaching and excellent planning and all of these items and you then will be profitable otherwise you’re by no means going to make it. It’s actually about there being layers to that and that you just positively like my enterprise is such an ideal instance of that I’ve launched my perfectionism handbrake in so some ways, and I really feel like I’m unrecognizable to 10 years in the past when it comes to that.
And but, I nonetheless have work that I’m doing. And I’ve been capable of create lots of success in my enterprise, I really feel very fulfilled in what I’m doing. And on the similar time, like there’s a piece to do. And it’s such as you generally is a work in progress. And the belongings you do can work on the similar time. It’s not both you’re absolutely carried out with all of your rising and all of the stuff, you’re studying about enterprise and also you’re profitable, otherwise you’ve bought issues to be taught and also you’re not profitable. It’s figuring out that constructing your small business in a manner that feels best for you, is secure. It’s secure to try this. And that’s the primary message that I need you to have from this episode.
And there are such a lot of occasions that I’ve discovered myself , and for this reason ought to the Instagram problem the instance doing precisely that when somebody is posting and the photographs they’re utilizing, the captions they’re writing the story technique they’re having considering like, Okay, I’ve to do those self same issues, as a substitute of fascinated by their enterprise mannequin and the way they consider themselves and the folks which can be serving to and their supply, and all of these various things, after which fascinated by my enterprise in that very same type of manner, and creating my very own technique, the sport.
And it was actually like an excellent instance of after I’m truly adopted, just about from the start. There’s been occasions the place it’s type of wavered a tiny bit, I’d say, however for probably the most half, this podcast, I’ve been so centered on what feels greatest for me, even when different individuals who I like who make much more cash than me, who’re serving to extra folks than me do it another way, the place they’ve. So say, for instance, with regards to a podcast, there are individuals who phrase for phrase, like write out a script, after which learn it off.
There are individuals who do 10 minute episodes or 20 minute episodes, there are individuals who solely do visitor interviews, there are such a lot of totally different variations, they usually all work. And so as a substitute of , okay, I say if you wish to begin a podcast. I’m going to begin a podcast and ship us one each week on a Monday. So Monday have to be the very best day like no, I simply selected Monday. Prefer it’s all you already know, they’re primarily like half-hour, I simply made up that point is like type of what I’m fascinated by after I’m recording an episode. Nevertheless it’s not based mostly on something explicit, it doesn’t imply that, like, we are able to’t experiment with issues, and or not it’s based mostly on one thing.
However once we have a look at that simply been this sure manner of doing issues and considering like that’s the one manner for it to achieve success, particularly if we find yourself in a little bit of an echo chamber with regards to what we’re consuming. So possibly the entire podcasts that you just hearken to do it in a sure manner, or the entire folks you observe on Instagram, significantly in your trade do it a sure manner. It may very well be that that type of format is actually what resonates with you. Nevertheless it is also {that a} totally different format, a distinct manner of doing issues is what feels greatest.
And for me, like I’ve tried at totally different occasions, doing extra notes the place I’ll, I don’t suppose I’ve possibly have a timeline the place I’ve scripted in any respect. I don’t know if I’ve it hasn’t been for a protracted, like years. However I’ve tried various things I’ve experimented with what works for me. And what works for me greatest at this time limit, is after I’m simply chatting, and I’m not overthinking it. And at occasions I’m even fascinated by like having to when it comes to the matters I discuss needing to verify I’m overlaying newbie, not newbie issues however like foundational issues reminiscent of perfectionism and the way that manifests and what that appears like.
After which in my thoughts, I’ve had a narrative about not desirous to spend, okay, spend an excessive amount of time type of out on the branches of the tree and I must spend extra time on the trunk of the practice simply even just lately, I’ve needed to be like, possibly it’s okay, what I’m doing, and I can provide myself permission to simply document episodes on what I really feel known as to document episodes on and belief, that’s going to go to the individuals who want to listen to it on the proper time. And actually, you already know, be one thing they wanted to listen to and that it’s most gratifying for me and to belief that it doesn’t need to really feel like a slog for me for it to be helpful to another person.
And that after I discover that if I’m in my head about what matters to speak about, or having them be much less type of me sharing my very own journey and extra like right here’s what it is advisable to do. Then it takes the enjoyable out of the podcast and figuring out that like we’re so programmed to suppose that the extra enjoyable for me, the much less beneficial will probably be for the enterprise. And probably the most beneficial factor goes to be the actually exhausting factor that I don’t need to do and I believe like in PGSDers we do brave work, and never exhausting work.
And distinguishing brave work. Brave work lots of occasions is letting issues be simple, and giving ourselves permission to do it our manner and giving ourselves permission to do it in only a tremendous flowy enjoyable manner, even when our mind is screaming at us, that it must really feel tougher, and that we want to consider it extra earlier than we do it. And as I’ve shared earlier than, just about after each podcast episode I document, even now we’re nicely over 300 episodes, my mind nonetheless has that chatter of like, that wasn’t ok, and all of that and simply ignoring that, like trusting myself sufficient to disregard these little moments of doubt that I’ve. And generally they’ve been massive moments of doubt, belief me.
However to belief myself sufficient that this manner can work. It’s to not say that if I didn’t learn, like if I learn off a script, and it was 20 minutes lengthy, or 10 minutes lengthy, and it had very clear factors or no matter, and I by no means went on a tangent, that might work too. For positive, it may work too. Or if I did an episode day-after-day, or if I did one episode a month, however like all of that might work, just like the other ways to make the blueberry muffin, all of them finish with a blueberry muffin. However that is the best way that basically feels most creatively fulfilling for me and to belief that that can also be going to be of nice worth to you.
And it’s not okay, nicely, it’s both what’s credibly fulfilling for me. And I’m keen to have a smaller enterprise due to it. It’s like this commerce off, am I placing these two issues in opposition. However as a substitute, it being that, what if being in inventive circulate and trusting our inventive instincts is definitely what would have us have an even bigger, extra profitable enterprise, there’s not this commerce off, that we’ve to grapple with. Nevertheless it’s actually giving ourselves permission to do it in the best way that feels greatest for us.
And to maintain doing that, even when like I’ve had individuals who likes in podcasts or reads, stuff happening tangents, you’re not being clear about your factors, and also you’re simply rambling on and all this stuff like, it’s simply, you possibly can have somebody straight inform you like your manner isn’t the best way. Your manner isn’t good, or this, these episodes are too low, what are all of the various things, and particularly when these issues have been my insecurities, that it’s and I share earlier than after I had like the primary unfavourable critiques of the podcast as a result of it feels so me.
And for this reason we need to do it different folks’s manner. As a result of after I was doing it my manner, simply doing what I’m doing proper now, which is pulling out my microphone and chatting. And simply being myself that when somebody criticizes that it simply feels a lot extra shameful, than if I used to be doing like a scripted, or no matter model that didn’t really feel like me that might really feel so like another person.
Nevertheless it didn’t really feel like me to try this. Then it’s type of like that buffer of a nicely, you already know, it’s not likely the best way I need to do the podcast anyway. So if somebody’s criticizing, it’s like, yeah, you already know, that’s high-quality. However while you’re actually displaying up as your self and doing it the best way that feels greatest for you, once we are criticize, and we will likely be, particularly because the enterprise grows, and that’s okay, when others when there are haters, and all that’s simply actually ceremony of passage.
However when that’s happening, it’s simpler to be in disgrace about it. And for this reason self like with regards to our self discuss and disgrace resilient, and that’s one thing that we work on, as PGSDers, is figuring out that disgrace is a human emotion, we’re going to expertise it, there’s no option to keep away from it. However we will be with ourselves in that have of it in order that it isn’t one thing we’ve, it isn’t so painful to be in disgrace. We don’t find yourself on this very dramatic disgrace as nicely that we’ve to go to all these lengths to keep away from it, which is actually what perfectionism is it’s a technique to keep away from disgrace.
And we mockingly, really feel disgrace, a lot extra intensely. And we disgrace ourselves a lot when we’ve our perfectionism handbrake on, however doing that work in order that we are able to belief ourselves to really feel any feeling. And we are able to belief our future self and our current day self figuring out that we’re not going to guide ourselves astray. And figuring out that there are such a lot of other ways to get to our targets that may work and why not do it in the best way that we need to do it, and that feels nice to us. And I need to preserve saying like, sure, we’re gonna be taught issues from different folks.
And we are able to nonetheless put our personal taste on it and our personal spin on it. And that doesn’t imply that from the very first day that it is advisable to try this. I coached a PGSDer on this that she was saying that for her content material that she was creating round her well being clinic, that she needed to verify her content material felt distinctive and genuine. And he or she didn’t simply need to repeat issues that she had realized from the research that she had carried out. She needed to verify it was actually true to her. And I used to be simply saying like, however how are you aware but what’s true to you what’s genuine.
And going again to my blueberry muffin instance, to determine the best way to make blueberry muffins in the best way that works for you. Initially, that is I imply, there are some individuals who simply know, they usually can simply get the substances collectively. However for many of us, you discover a recipe, you observe it, you discover a recipe, you observe it once more. After which as you retain doing that, say possibly choose a recipe for muffins, you observe it like the primary thrice you’re simply following the recipe. After which possibly after that you just’re like, Okay, truly, I really feel prefer it’s a bit candy.
So I’m simply gonna see what occurs if I don’t put as a lot sugar in it. Or if I take the blueberries out, and I put choc chips in it, or if I exploit this almond flour as a substitute of plain flour, or no matter it’s, however to to begin with, prefer it’s okay to be following the recipe, and to not have your individual genuine spin on it from the start. After which when you try this an increasing number of, then you’ll begin to determine okay, truly, it feels extra like me and extra aligned to what I need to do to do it this manner. After which ultimately you possibly can write your individual recipe.
And that’s actually, with regards to enterprise and perfectionism, particularly that not that there was anybody been like, right here’s the recipe for releasing your perfectionism, which is why a giant purpose why PGSD exists, as a result of I didn’t even know this was all a factor. And I couldn’t discover anybody to assist me with it. So anyway, it was nonetheless like taking totally different items of, you already know, different folks’s recipes and making these after which making an attempt that after which my very own variations on that to ultimately the purpose now, we’re about 10 years into engaged on my perfectionism having coached a whole bunch of individuals on theirs, that now I can share my very own recipe.
And that’s not the one option to do it. And with regards to in the event you’re in a advertising program, that’s not the one option to do it. And it may be helpful to observe a recipe, particularly the start. After which being conscious that you just may need to fluctuate that and giving your self permission to try this. And yeah, I simply needed to share that as a result of there is likely to be issues the place you’re like, I don’t even know what seems like the suitable manner.
That is the place it’s such as you choose one thing and also you strive it. And after I began this podcast, I had already been running a blog in my enterprise for like 4 years I had been what else had I been doing. I had been doing YouTube movies, I had been doing Snapchat, rather a lot like chatting on Snapchat, and different issues like that. In order that by the point I bought to doing my podcast, I knew what I appreciated, I knew the place I did my greatest, which is after I’m not studying off a script or something like that.
I knew that the content material that I cherished the moist fingers down. And there’s totally different sorts of content material for everybody. However I really like lengthy kind. I really like when somebody’s simply chatting while you actually really feel like they’re your good friend and also you get an perception into the behind the scenes and aren’t simply preaching at you. However they’re sharing with you their experiences. And there’s simply a lot consolation in that type of content material for me like I find it irresistible. I realized from it probably the most. And that was a method that I needed to create. However I didn’t know that after I began my enterprise.
And if I had created a podcast after I began my weblog in 2013 which I like there was no manner that was taking place. Like even simply beginning a weblog when nobody ever noticed my face I’ll have my voice felt like such a giant factor. And that’s why it took me so lengthy to begin a podcast as a result of I simply thought like, I can’t have a pod… like all these folks have podcasts. I’m nothing like them. They’re a lot… Like I didn’t have something to share this so significantly better than me extra skilled than me, I can’t identical to create my very own podcast. So it took me fairly some time to rise up the braveness to even begin a podcast. However by the point I did, I had discovered for me what I resonated with probably the most.
And I had carried out sufficient experimenting on different platforms to know that I can chat for a very long time, about all these things with no need any type of notes, that I’ve actually given myself permission to document these with out modifying. And there are a couple of individuals who influenced that like Tim Ferriss and Myleik Teele was in all probability the most important one, her podcast and some different ones like that, the place it was simply chatty. And I simply cherished them a lot. And acknowledge that possibly different folks may love mine with the same format.
However now there’s so many examples. Like they had been these examples, had been the least frequent ones. And in addition for me deciding, like, I wasn’t gonna have company on the podcast as a result of I really like doing solo episodes. I really like listening to solo episodes are most of any podcast, sure, lots of interviews. However for positive, if somebody has a solo episode versus an interview, I’ll all the time go for the solo episode. Just lately, we’ve been having extra company on the podcast for therefore lengthy, like the primary 300 episodes, just about I didn’t have any company on the podcast.
And so it’s identical to trusting your individual instinct on it. Letting your self be taught from others and like observe a recipe from another person, in the event you haven’t carried out one thing earlier than, in the event you’re new to one thing, or if you wish to be taught a brand new option to do it. After which when you’ve been following that recipe just a little bit to begin to replicate on what variations really feel good to me with this, what I need to experiment with right here, to the purpose the place then sooner or later, you possibly can write your individual recipe not that you must, however you then find yourself with your individual manner of doing it.
That could be a variation of all of the various things that you’ve got realized earlier than, however can also be your individual distinctive manner. And once more, to wrap as much as underline it’s secure to belief your self, you aren’t going to guide your self astray or down a path that you just don’t need to. You possibly can all the time get again to the place you’re proper now. There’s nothing like, there’s so few issues you possibly can do, that might break your small business. Like once we’re in that each one or nothing considering.
It’s like, if I put one foot incorrect, then every part’s ruined. It doesn’t truly work that manner. Enterprise is simply experimenting, it’s trial and error had been all in case you didn’t notice it. We’re all making it up. None of us know absolutely what we’re doing. And but on the similar time, everyone knows what we’re doing. Each of these issues are true on the similar time. And so I need you to essentially soak into that, to begin recognizing that you already know what to do, you’re nonetheless studying however you already know sufficient.
It’s secure to belief your self. In case you’re doing that Q&A together with your future self, have them have your current day self reply, I believe is probably the most highly effective factor there. And to identical to if in case you have been, that is what I’ll simply communicate in first particular person, that’s what I’ve been doing is that I’ll observe with the podcast, I’ve been fairly nice with that when it comes to doing it the best way that feels greatest to me although, as I mentioned, there are occasions the place I overthink totally different matters which can be random, no matter. However say with Instagram, for instance.
There are occasions the place I’m like, that is the best way I need to do it, this feels greatest to me. After which I can discover myself simply getting like what others are doing and considering I must do it that manner. And never trusting my manner of doing it. After which I come again I’ve a breakthrough. It’s up to now I used to be journaling about this the opposite day, I by no means have a breakthrough of like, I simply want to repeat that particular person’s manner of doing it. The breakthrough is all the time I must do it my manner. After which there are occasions that I then am like, oh, I have a look at this.
And I believe Instagram, significantly the rationale Instagram, in addition to a platform that will get talked about rather a lot inside PGSD. I believe it actually like the best way it really works with the likes and the feedback and the engagement and that type of factor is that it seems like a way more judgmental platform in a manner for me that the podcast doesn’t and it’s simply the beliefs I’ve about it the story I’ve about it as a result of there are lots of people who’ve perfectionism round podcast episodes and I’ve positively had a few of that myself at occasions.
However with Instagram you get an immediate response with folks liking issues or not liking issues with folks commenting or not commenting with placing up a query field and nobody answering prefer it’s totally different to a podcast for instance, you simply get plenty of downloads, and that’s it. It’s not type of all of those feedback and various things happening. So I’ve observed for me that I are inclined to belief myself much less with that. And I’ve wanted to work extra actively on that. And that’s one thing that we’re engaged on behind the scenes for the time being.
On the time of recording this, by the point you’re listening to this, it’s in all probability began rolling out what we’re doing. However noticing, you already know, simply how different folks say, to do issues, otherwise you’re simply watching how they do issues and realize it’s okay, that you just is likely to be type of going forwards and backwards between the best way that feels proper to you, and you then see another person doing one thing, you copy that for a bit. And you then return to love, have a breakthrough about, “No, I’m simply gonna do it my manner”. After which you end up once more, that’s okay. I’ve been there I’m there on a regular basis.
For it’s secure to belief your self to construct your small business your manner, there are such a lot of ways in which work. And in PGSD, we’re actually all about doing it in a manner that works for you that works to your way of life that works to your targets that you’ve got. You’re by no means doing one thing at your individual expense or existence expense. And in addition we do brave work. And that implies that we do issues that we’ve resistance round which can be uncomfortable, however we’re not doing issues as a result of we must always do them.
We’re not overcomplicating, and doing that type of factor. We’re doing the brave stuff, which is commonly extra occasions there not coming again to trusting ourselves. Doing it the simple manner, doing it the easy manner that normally takes extra braveness. So in the event you haven’t loved I mentioned that humorous, if in case you have loved this episode, please take a screenshot and tag me on Insta, I’m @perfectionismproject. I hope you’re having a stupendous day and I’ll discuss to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
In case you are able to get out of your individual manner in your small business, I need to invite you inside my productiveness program for perfectionist entrepreneurs known as Perfectionist Getting Shit Performed. Our subsequent enrollment is occurring for one week solely starting on the 4th of April 2025. To search out out extra about this system and be part of the waitlist, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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