If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then at present’s publish will enable you to out.
In it I wish to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, ageing and life.
Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media publish on for instance Instagram.
Or just use one in every of them in your birthday speech to your buddy, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you might be celebrating to make them snicker and make their big day much more enjoyable.
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Buddies (and Your Finest Good friend)
“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you possibly can keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“I imagine you forgot my birthday current final yr, so now I’m returning the favor. Completely satisfied Birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and anyone’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown
“Trying fifty is nice – in case you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside each older individual is a youthful individual – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the higher you get. Except you’re a banana.”
– Betty White
“The key of staying younger is to stay actually, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. When you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are nature’s method of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown
“A buddy by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age just isn’t vital except you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I imagine in loyalty. When a girl reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres
“Finally you attain some extent whenever you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“When a person has a birthday, he takes a time without work. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a yr or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From delivery to age 18, a lady wants good dad and mom. From 18 to 35, she wants beauty. From 35 to 55, she wants a great character. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Brief and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older
“You recognize you’re getting previous when the candles value greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. When you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Completely satisfied Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Previous age is like every little thing else. To make a hit of it, you’ve bought to begin younger.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it’s going to keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a person who at all times remembers a girl’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I’ll by no means be an previous man. To me, previous age is at all times 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon
“Simply keep in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to choose up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t need to respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There may be nonetheless no treatment for the frequent birthday.”
– John Glenn
“You recognize you’ve aged whenever you learn occasions you lived in a historical past e book.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Rising previous is obligatory; rising up is elective.”
– Chili Davis
“You recognize you’re getting previous whenever you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See in case you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Center age is whenever you nonetheless imagine you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you become older, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t keep in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge
“You recognize you’re getting previous when every little thing hurts. And what doesn’t damage doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you could be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“Every thing that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not every little thing that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns
“We don’t develop previous. After we stop to develop, we turn out to be previous.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Ladies on Getting old Gracefully
“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years previous.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to try this for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“All the time be good to your youngsters as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation dwelling.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t plan to develop previous gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“You recognize you’ve reached center age whenever you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as a substitute of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“ rule to recollect for all times is that in relation to cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a cut price.”
– Graham Norton
“Individuals say, ‘The way you keep wanting so younger?’ I say, properly, good lighting, good medical doctors, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton
“My face carries all my recollections. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Getting old appears to be the one obtainable approach to stay an extended life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve bought so many wrinkles; I must be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain
“Hear. I want I might inform you it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers
“Getting old gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Adjustments in Life
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that might triple its worth yearly. I advised him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper
“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as a substitute of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“After I was a boy the Useless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns
“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slender waist start to vary locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You’re solely as previous as the lady you are feeling.”
– Groucho Marx
“Anybody could be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David
“In center age, the soul must be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I’m more than happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m more than happy to be wherever.”
– George Burns
“Center age is whenever you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that may get you dwelling by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I might go tomorrow. And I hope I’m going tomorrow. I haven’t gone at present but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t must know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Center age is whenever you’ve met so many individuals that each new individual you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash
“The one approach to preserve your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d reasonably not.”
– Mark Twain
“Completely satisfied Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s good, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your greatest qualities.”
– Good/Good Little one
“Previous age is whenever you resent the swimsuit concern of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns
“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers
“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you possibly can blow on and spit on, and everyone rushes to get a chunk?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can preserve monitor of my favourite songs of the yr as a kind of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage woman.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Because of fashionable medical advances resembling antibiotics, nasal spray, and Weight loss program Coke, it has turn out to be routine for folks within the civilized world to cross the age of 40, typically greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry
“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is working the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The purpose of life is to take every little thing that made you bizarre as a child and get folks to pay you cash for it whenever you’re older.”
– David Freeman
“You recognize you’re getting previous when all of the names in your black e book have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We might actually sluggish the ageing course of down if it needed to work its method by Congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns
“Combating ageing is just like the Conflict on Medication. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler
“The ageing course of just isn’t gradual or mild. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer
“I used to be occupied with how folks appear to learn the Bible much more as they become older, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her remaining examination.”
– George Carlin
“Previous age comes at a foul time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too exhausting to get again up.”
– John Wagner
“Center age is whenever you’re sitting at dwelling on a Saturday evening and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t cease taking part in as a result of we develop previous. We develop previous as a result of we cease taking part in.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I’d identified I used to be going to stay this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“You recognize you’re getting previous whenever you stoop to tie your shoelaces and surprise what else you are able to do when you’re down there.”
– George Burns
“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes have been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren
Need extra inspiration for celebrations developing quickly? Then try these inspirational birthday quotes, the quick birthday quotes on this publish and the inspirational marriage ceremony quotes right here. Plus, this one with quick marriage ceremony quotes.
Discussion about this post