I wasn’t planning to document this episode – it was a type of moments the place I simply needed to decide up the mic and speak. One thing clicked for me not too long ago and it made so many issues in my enterprise and life all of a sudden make sense in a means they by no means had earlier than. It’s a type of shifts that when you see it, you may’t unsee it.
On this episode, I share the story behind that realisation – what led as much as it, what I seen about the best way I’d been working and pondering and the way it’s been quietly shaping my outcomes for years with out me realising. In case you’ve ever felt such as you’re doing all the correct issues however nonetheless not feeling fulfilled or impressed by your small business, that is going to resonate deeply.
I discuss what I found throughout my Weekly Overview that modified how I take a look at my habits, my relationships and my targets. It’s one thing that’s been proper beneath my nostril for years – and but it’s fully shifted how I plan, create and present up.
In case you’ve been feeling a bit disconnected, overthinking your subsequent transfer or attempting to get all the pieces excellent earlier than you are taking motion, this dialog will enable you to see issues in a very new gentle.
Sources to enable you to get out of your individual means in your small business:
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Undertaking. A podcast filled with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own means and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished group teaching program, which is in any other case often known as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your small business, you may observe me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown
Okay, so in in the present day’s episode, I simply need to share one thing that I’ve been enthusiastic about actually deeply, that I do know for those who’re a perfectionist entrepreneur, that is going to resonate with you. That is going to resonate a lot and assist make sense of issues that possibly you haven’t been in a position to make sense of earlier than on this means. This for me, what I’m going to be sharing is, actually, I’d say, one of many greatest realizations I’ve had, and it’s form of been proper beneath my noise. However you already know, when one thing simply clicks in a means, we like, Oh, I actually get it now, like I can see it and just like the world is not going to look the identical to me ever once more. That’s how I really feel about what I’m sharing on this episode. So whether or not or not it’s going to land for you in the present day or a 12 months from now, you’re going to have this pop into your thoughts and be like, Oh, I get it. I need to share it with you. I simply really feel like I needed to decide up my microphone and hit document and share this message with you.
And so the place do I begin with this? What I’ve been reflecting on is connection and disconnection, and some days in the past, so I used to be doing my weekly assessment, and I used to be doing it round my private life. So what I’ve began doing not too long ago is not only doing self teaching and actually planning out my enterprise aspect of my life, however actually bringing that into the non-public aspect much more. I used to be nonetheless doing it earlier than with my private life, however not likely with the identical degree of intention as I used to be doing it with the enterprise. So I used to be doing my private weekly assessment, and I arrange a cubby home for the youngsters, for the three oldest ones to play on this cubby home whereas I did my weekly assessment. And what I seen was what got here up was ideas of disconnection, ideas about with one of many teaching containers that I’m in, how that’s not presently an excellent match for me, despite the fact that I actually do imagine it’s. However ideas eager to disconnect me from that ideas eager to disconnect me from friendships which can be rising and evolving and issues like that that I simply discovered myself wanting to search out distinction as an alternative of wanting to search out similarity.
And that basically had me reflecting on like, what is that this disconnection about? Like, why is my mind producing these ideas of disconnection? And I seen as nicely, with that, that having ideas of disconnection is one thing that I feel my mind does, my perfectionist mind does to create security. There’s some form of security in disconnection and form of simply solely having to depend on your self, like whenever you’re disconnected, you may’t be harmed, in a way, by no matter you’re related to. And it’s not that I used to be pondering I used to be going to be harmed by any of these items that I’ve simply talked about with the teaching container, with friendships and issues like that, however it’s only a protecting behavior to disconnect. And I’ve seen, as I’ve been learning how I’ve confirmed up in the previous few years, and what has been happening for me and my evolution and the enterprise and all of that, that what I can see is that there’s this theme and simply the entire of my enterprise of disconnecting after which reconnecting or getting related, after which eager to disconnect, after which I reconnect, and simply I can monitor the income of the enterprise and my satisfaction with my enterprise work life primarily based on how related I’m.
And as a lot as my perfectionist mind needs to have me disconnect. It needs to have me have form of all the pieces at an arm’s size, that after I’m related and after I’m related to myself, after I’m related to my concepts, after I’m related to nature, after I’m related to my mates, after I’m related to my household, after I’m related to my atmosphere, to my bodily area, after I’m related to teaching and like my craft, after I’m related to non-public growth, which is a part of that, all of that after I’m related, that’s when all the pieces is very easy, however after I don’t see, or after I haven’t seen straight, how connection is absolutely the precursor to all the pieces that I’ve created that has been so impactful. It’s to not say I’ve to be related on this, like all or nothing factor, however I’ve simply been noticing after I really feel related, I’m compelled, I’m convicted, I’m magnetic.
I simply need to share stuff, and it resonates, it lands. However after I’m disconnected, I’m in my head. I’m attempting to get it proper. I’m attempting to say the correct factor. I’m attempting to be strategic. And I’ve talked earlier than on this podcast about how for me, after I’m doing one thing. In a strategic means. That for me is perfectionism, and it’s to not say to not be strategic. And I’ve been attempting to, like, cross out, like, what is that this? And make the excellence with like, I’m strategic. I’m a really strategic enterprise lady particular person on the whole. However relating to this technique, pondering like, what’s that? And it’s as a result of I’m after I’m pondering that means for me, I’m disconnected from the particular person on the opposite finish. I’m not enthusiastic about them anymore. I’m disconnected from my knowledge. I’m disconnected from a lot so for me, after I go into enthusiastic about doing the correct technique, or what the algorithm needs, or, like, all of that form of factor, after I haven’t first related.
So that is key. Connection is available in that female power, after which I’m going into having the ability to actually take into consideration any form of analytics and information and all of that form of stuff in such a robust means. So it’s to not say, to not have the technique, however for me, I’ve simply been noticing, and I simply need to voice it. And I’ve simply hopeful both it lands for you in the present day or a 12 months from now, or 10 years from now. However I simply need to plant that seed every time it blooms, that connection, connecting to your self, your concepts, your craft, your purchasers, your future purchasers, or clients, similar to being related, being related to what’s already in your life, the issues you have already got. And other people discuss, like abundance and gratitude and all that. However for me, simply seeing it by way of the sense of like, oh, it’s about connection. What can I do on this second to be extra related with the youngsters? What can I do on this second to be extra related with myself? And I’ve seemed again through the years and simply seen by way of this lens of connection, how all the pieces makes a lot sense. So I’ll provide you with a couple of examples.
By the best way, I’ve zero notes in anyway for this. I’m simply chatting. So a couple of examples. One is energy planning. I feel for me, that’s the strongest instance of a connection ritual, a connection apply that has been so supportive. And it’s like, why, even after I don’t do the Energy Hour completely, or I do it late, or typically not even in any respect, prefer it’s simply such a grounding apply for me, and I’ve been enthusiastic about AI lots not too long ago. Love some AI, love all of that. And I’ve been like, why don’t I need to simply have or not it’s a purely AI factor, like you may have whenever you’re planning out your week. You can have AI totally do this, and also you simply then have a calendar you observe. However for me, energy planning, that course of, the Energy Hour, the little tweaks, the weekly assessment. It’s about connection it’s about reference to myself. It’s about reference to my enterprise. It’s about reference to what’s potential. It’s about reference to my purchasers. Like there’s a lot connection that’s being supported.
And after I’m doing my Energy Hour, I’m not simply structuring the week, I’m connecting to the week, and I’m actually taking note of what the enterprise wants are that must be met, what my private wants are that must be met, and determining a solution to have all of these wants met, or if they’ll’t all be met on the similar time, which of them are the precedence, and simply having that plan, that connection for the week, having that I really feel so totally different to after I’m simply winging it. And I don’t like having this inflexible construction, like I’ve to observe by way of on this factor. It’s like, it’s versatile construction that’s so supportive. And the rationale that energy planning works so nicely for me and so many PGSDers and purchasers who’ve discovered energy planning and utilized it and it’s modified their lives, is it’s a apply of connecting after we are supplied as perfectionist so disconnected from ourselves, we’re all up in our heads, we’re disconnected from our our bodies and our emotions.
We’re disconnected from the particular person on the opposite finish, particularly if, like myself, you will have an internet enterprise the place you don’t really get to see actually, even in particular person, most of my purchasers stay on the opposite aspect of the world to me, right here in Australia. They’re in the US. They’re in Europe, within the UK. Like I’m disconnected bodily, however I can join by way of totally different practices that I’ve. So energy planning connects me to the week within the Energy Hour, the little tweaks actually assist me keep related with what’s really unfolding all through the week. I’m not simply managing disruptions. I’m staying related to the lifetime of the week, to the precise week that’s taking place. And in my weekly assessment, I’m not simply evaluating efficiency on this very masculine form of means. There’s a time and place for the masculine, however I’m in that reconnecting with development and with gratitude and aliveness and with myself. It’s all a connection apply. I’ve additionally talked about many occasions, how writing down an affirmation the place I simply write down, for instance, the unique one. I’ll rejoice the final day at my full time job on 30, June, 2017, or sooner.
How I wrote that out in my journal 15 occasions. I feel it was on the time that I began with I did that every single day. It felt loopy to do this, as a result of there was no means I might go away. I simply couldn’t see like, Okay, I’ve to go full time in my enterprise to have the ability to do this, and I’m nowhere near having the ability to make that sum of money and have that full time revenue. However by having that that I wrote down every single day, it wasn’t that I wanted to do this, however it related me. It was one thing that basically related me to the probabilities to what my purpose was and what I used to be working in the direction of. Targets join me so in PGSD, we have now the expansion purpose. We even have the momentum undertaking as nicely. These sorts of purpose constructions, if you’ll, join me to the imaginative and prescient. They really make it tangible and actual and make it one thing that I might be related with.
And within the energy planning is what permits me to remain related to the larger purpose. As a result of it’s straightforward to have a purpose and also you set it and you then overlook it, however energy planning is a weekly apply the place I’m additionally reconnecting again to Hey, What’s my purpose for the 12 months, and what’s my purpose for this quarter? And okay, if that’s the case, and likewise what’s happening for me in my private life, if that’s all of the case, then what’s the supportive plan that I really need to observe by way of on that’s going to get me there? And even when I don’t really feel like doing one thing, if I need to do one thing due to it’s going to get me to that purpose in a means that I’m joyful about, that I’m prepared to really feel uncomfortable, I’m prepared to do issues that within the second would possibly really feel exposing, like after I was initially beginning my enterprise, and it simply felt so insane to be posting like something to my Instagram. We had, I didn’t have a podcast for the primary few years, despite the fact that I beloved podcasts. That’s how I discovered in regards to the enterprise world, the web enterprise world, however I might by no means be that one that had one.
So then it actually felt weak to say, Hey, I feel I’m the form of one that might have a podcast and really do this, however I used to be prepared to do this as a result of I felt related to the targets that I had and the purpose that I had and the purpose that I had at the moment wasn’t even crystal clear. It was simply, I need to have a full time revenue from my enterprise. I don’t need to be a lawyer, as I’ve studied to be I don’t need to be within the finance world. I don’t need to be an accountant. I need to work out what this enterprise is, private growth associated enterprise. I wasn’t providing teaching providers on the time or something like that. That was one thing that I felt very related to, to being a coach, however I didn’t but have the identification that allowed me to truly do this, the self picture. And so simply taking a look at, after I look again by way of the historical past of my enterprise, all of those connection level and the way after I’ve been related, that’s when momentum has been created, and I’ve developed loads of practices like energy planning which can be actually embedded into my week. Clear relaxation is such an excellent instance of this as nicely. Clear relaxation is me connecting with myself, and it doesn’t imply I’m simply sitting round studying all day, and I like studying, and I’d love to do this, but in addition I need to spend time with my household and my children, and I’ve different issues to do, like sensible life, issues to maintain as nicely.
And so in that clear relaxation, it’s not that I’m having to be doing nothing, or I can’t be caring for anybody else or like, I’ve to only be journaling the entire time. I join with myself by way of disconnecting from the enterprise. So I discuss with clear relaxation, it isn’t a lot like what you want to do in that relaxation time, or something like that. It’s simply time the place you’re not allowed, so to talk, to work on your small business. And the rationale that’s the case as a result of we would like you to mentally swap off the enterprise so you may mentally swap on to one thing else. And it is a realization I’ve had as nicely. Very not too long ago, I used to be speaking to mates of mine. I’ve loads of my shut mates all have had a child very comparable time to me having Liam my fourth which has been superb, superb, superb. And what we’ve been speaking about has come up in dialog about having individuals discuss, you already know, is your associate, your husband, whoever it’s, are they a arms on Dad?
And what I actually got here to enthusiastic about was the rationale, or not the one motive, however one of many causes, an important one, that Steve is ready to be so arms on, is as a result of I’m prepared to be arms off, and energetically, I’m nonetheless related, however I’m prepared to not be the arms on. And so if you wish to be arms on to your baby, and also you additionally need your associate to be arms on, typically that’s simply too many arms, there solely must be two arms. And so if you’d like another person to be arms on, you’ve received to have a look at, do I must be a bit extra arms off right here? And which may convey up sure issues, of like, nicely, possibly they don’t want me, or like, fears like that, however I’m prepared to be arms off. And this has occurred in my enterprise too. Once I’ve introduced on staff, I’m prepared to be arms off so another person might be arms on. And I’ve needed to disconnect, however not in an unhelpful means. I feel there’s useful disconnection in sure methods, however I’ve been prepared to take my arms off so another person can put their arms on and help me within the enterprise, for instance, or help our purchasers that we have now in PGSD.
So with this, simply seeing how connection is such, the entry level, the connection level and self belief, I discuss on a regular basis how self belief for a perfectionist is absolutely like one of many core issues to be creating, that we’re not at conflict with ourselves and never trusting ourselves and never having the ability to depend on ourselves and nitpicking ourselves and judging ourselves, and like that fixed opposition we have now with ourselves after we’re a perfectionist and continuously on the lookout for all of the imperfections and screaming about them to ourselves that’s disconnection from ourselves, and we’re actually simply craving reference to ourselves. How good does it really feel to really feel like your self?
How good does it really feel to really feel like you’re related to your self? And there have been so many classes in connection, and loads of these I’ve discovered by way of disconnection over the previous few years. And one, for instance, is after I had the twins, and in that postpartum interval, I felt very disconnected. A part of that was as a result of I felt disconnected from myself, and I hadn’t realized it on the time, however I ended loads of the practices that enable me to really feel related to myself and likewise related to the enterprise, as a result of I nonetheless had a enterprise, so I nonetheless must be related to the enterprise, even when I’m not working as typically as I’d in any other case be. So when it got here to that issues like self teaching, getting coached is such an enormous level of connection. And journaling, these are all form of in the identical bucket, like connecting with my ideas, connecting with my emotions, being prepared to be related sufficient with myself that I’m prepared to have a look at these issues. Going for walks in nature.
Once I had the twins and I additionally had Lydia, who was 19 months outdated, it felt a lot more durable emotionally to go for a stroll, as a result of there was simply so many little our bodies concerned. And it additionally simply felt actually laborious emotionally to only ask for time away from everybody else, to go for a stroll on my own, and so I didn’t have that connection level. And it’s not that I have to have a stroll, it’s not that I have to have time on my own, however that was one of many practices I had that helped me join with myself. I additionally actually, I feel one other factor in that point that I disconnected from my mates, and I didn’t do that deliberately, and I actually simply felt like as a result of I had ideas that disconnected me. It was similar to my thought was, nobody needs to hang around with me whereas I’ve received three little children that I’m taking care of as a result of I’m so like, I’ve to be so disconnected from them to have the ability to be related to love, what the youngsters wants are, I’m assembly these wants that I can’t really, form of like, not entertain, however type of that mind-set of like, I can’t really be related to my mates if they arrive over.
As a result of then I can’t be related sufficient to the youngsters when really, after all, my mates nonetheless need to hang around with me, and that has been such an essential realization that I’ve had this postpartum as nicely. However after I had the twins, loads of my shut mates didn’t have a toddler on the similar time, like a brand new child or two infants on the similar time. However after I had Lydia, my daughter, who’s 4 years outdated. My shut mates, additionally, a lot of them, had a bit one. So I naturally, like, I didn’t even understand it, however I naturally had that connection if we had been in an identical level, and it was simpler to catch up, and we had, like, private life stuff happening that we naturally would catch up and discuss. And so there have been simply typically, like, unintentional connection, like I’d work out, however actually essential, I used to be figuring out with two of my closest mates. We had been all residing inside like three streets of one another, which was such a present.
We had been doing the renovation right here in our home, and we ended up having the ability to get a rental that was proper down the road from considered one of my finest mates, after which when my different finest mates was in a rental as nicely there, and that was simply such a tremendous time. And going for a exercise at considered one of my good friend’s place every morning, like I received to have that similar to friendship each morning, and like seeing one another each morning, that it was simply straightforward to do this, and simpler that it’s circumstantially to do it now, and I actually have to take the time, however I hadn’t realized how essential all these totally different connection factors had been, and I don’t must be completely related to myself or to anybody else, or to concepts or nature or like this doesn’t then create this like connection curriculum that must be so strenuous and inflexible and like, nicely, if I’m not related, then I can’t, you already know, I can’t publish on social media, or I can’t, I can’t function usually, and I’ve to have this as an alternative of, like, really, I’m simply on the lookout for connection within the moments that I consider it. Of like, Okay, what might this appear like to be related right here?
After which I’m taking a look at actually prioritizing in my energy planning and seeing it by way of this lens of like, okay, after I’m connecting to the week and planning out the week, have I received these connection factors, like, and for me, like, figuring out is a means I join, to my mind, to my physique, to myself. That’s actually essential, seeing mates in addition to a means that I join. I don’t need to be ticking all these containers each week, recording a podcast episode, that could be a means I hook up with myself. This can be a means I hook up with myself. It’s a means that I hook up with you. Having that be revealed, publishing, we’ve been speaking about this inside pgsd, with the inventive cocoon and creating constant content material. When you will have spark content material. You bought to publish it. Publishing is a part of connecting. In case you’re simply creating these superb concepts and nothing ever will get out into the world, you’re not closing that connection loop. You’re remaining disconnected.
And so for me, for instance, I really feel like there are such a lot of examples of this, I’ll share one other one. Recently, I really feel like I haven’t been related to the enterprise as a result of I’ve been attempting to be strategic. And that is simply such a sample for me, and it’s simply so essential whenever you spot a sample, I shared about this in a latest episode the place there was a training name in PGSD the place I talked to this and we shared that. However whenever you see a sample, tremendous essential not to enter frustration that you’ve got the attention, however you’re nonetheless doing the factor, however to truly perceive there’s having the attention round it, after which the emotional capability and identification to have the ability to transfer out of that sample and into a unique one. So I’ve simply been like on this sample that I’ve seen of me actually wanting to attach, I had this deep need to attach, after which my mind goes into Okay, right here’s what we have to do to attach. We have to have this workflow for content material creation that goes like this, so to join as an alternative of like okay, however I already know methods to join, and the way can we simply have me hold connecting whereas I determine that out?
My mind went into this all or nothing. Okay, I have to disconnect from connecting. I have to disconnect from recording the podcast episodes, from writing the emails, from doing the publish, from simply displaying up and sharing whereas I work out this different factor. As a substitute of, oh, I simply hold doing that, and that fuels how I determine it out, and that basically makes it a lot extra highly effective to be within the doing of the connecting. Wish to be related whereas determining a system and whereas constructing out a course of, then to fully disconnect. And for me, I’ve simply had that, not even like stagnant power. However form of, if you concentrate on there being a present and the circulation, after which that being stagnant, otherwise you’re form of like on the financial institution of the river subsequent to the present that’s flowing, I really feel like I’ve been standing subsequent to the river, learning the river, attempting to determine methods to get into the river once more, after I know so rattling nicely methods to be within the river, and it’s simpler to be within the river than to be on the financial institution.
And I used to be not too long ago teaching a PGSDer on this as nicely, relating to visibility. So supporting perfectionist entrepreneurs with being seen and feeling protected to do this is an enormous factor that we do inside Perfectionist Getting Shit Finished. It’s actually essential for advertising and gross sales that you’re feeling protected, feeling seen. And so what she was saying on this name, when she was reflecting on one thing, she was saying, I used to be… What did she say I used to be seen? It for a time frame, for a 12 months, and earlier than that, I simply been enthusiastic about it like on the the financial institution of the river, I’ve been enthusiastic about being seen. That was actually uncomfortable. Then I really confirmed up and was seen for a couple of 12 months posting, and that was uncomfortable, however it was really much less uncomfortable than it was to be enthusiastic about, I’m going to be seen. After which she went again onto the river of the financial institution subsequent to the present.
She was again on that within the within the sense of not displaying up, not sharing not doing her factor, and with this concern of visibility developing, however when she’s being seen, that concern really isn’t there as a lot as whenever you’re invisible, like whenever you’re not being seen. So you probably have concern of visibility and displaying up and placing your self on the market, it’s so, so so essential and highly effective to only take into consideration. Simply, is it the case for you that the concern of visibility is definitely extra painful than simply being seen? And there’s concern of visibility, after which there’s actually the belief of, like, I’m really fantastic being seen. It’s simply how I deal with myself after I’m seen. Like I decide myself much more and I nitpick myself much more after I’m creating stuff than after I’m not creating stuff. So possibly I mustn’t create stuff. Like whenever you’re seen, whenever you enable your self to publish issues and get it out on the planet, that creates security, since you’re getting that connection, just like the suggestions loop that truly it’s protected to publish.
And considered one of our PGSDers, I used to be teaching her within the pgsd discussion board, and she or he was saying, Yeah, I’ve created this spark content material, which comes from reference to your self. I’ve created this spark content material and your connection along with your concepts, reference to a lot connection, that’s what actually sparks the content material. She created this spark content material, and she or he’s like, I’m nonetheless enthusiastic about whether or not I ought to publish it. So we have now two components to the constant content material. It’s one is creating the spark content material, connecting with your self, your concepts, your philosophies, stuff you simply need to chat about. Identical to related and like having that connection spark the content material. After which energy publishing, which is what closes that connection loop, and what actually creates a protected visibility is letting your self publish stuff. And so she was saying, I’m undecided whether or not I ought to publish this writing that I’ve created, or ought to I’m going and write this different factor that I’m enthusiastic about?
And I stated, Properly, are you able to simply publish it and simply delete it if you already know, if you wish to, you at all times have that choice. You at all times have that again door of like, for those who publish it and also you don’t need to have or not it’s up there eternally, you may simply take it down. She’s not in a scenario the place she has hundreds of thousands of individuals following her, and as quickly as she publishes something, then they’re going to screenshot it, and it’s like, on the market eternally, virtually everybody, for those who’re listening to this, you’re in a scenario the place you may simply quietly delete one thing and nobody will even know that it existed. And that’s such a security I feel we overlook how useful that interval is to have the ability to simply delete one thing and it’s it’s actually prefer it by no means existed. That’s such an excellent supply of security, as you’re creating your relationship with your self, invisibility. It’s so highly effective to have that. So I stated to her, simply publish it, delete it if you’d like. However like, form of this concept, like, it’s not so valuable you could, oh, like, you already know, solely publish one factor and, like, ought to or not it’s this or that? Of like, simply publish it and let your self not simply be related with your self and your concepts and all these issues, however like let your self be related with the world.
Then if it’s an excessive amount of, you may disconnect. That’s okay, however connecting will like you may solely actually create the protection by way of permitting your self to attach. And simply actually, for me, seeing all the pieces by way of this lens of connection and the way essential it’s as a perfectionist, I feel like as a result of self belief is all about connecting with your self, like that’s what self belief is. And after we’re in that perfectionist mindset, we’re disconnected from ourselves. We’re both individuals pleasing and we’re so determined for connection, and we’re not getting it from ourselves. So we’re attempting to attach with another person by way of being preferred by them, by way of obliging them, by way of like simply attempting to leap over hoops or by way of hoops or no matter it’s, in order that they’ll like us, as a result of we’re not feeling related to ourselves. We would like that exterior validation. We would like the reward, the engagement, the consumer to enroll, the shopper to purchase, as a result of we’re wanting that connection, as a result of we’re not getting that connection from ourself.
And it then it looks like such an enormous deal as a result of we’re not getting connection from ourselves, or we have now to get it from some other place. After which we present up in a means that we don’t actually even like loads of the time, or it fully burns us out and has us feeling extra disconnected. Once we’re burned out, we’re disconnecting. We’ve been disconnected from our physique and from our ideas that we’re having which can be fueling that disconnection, the entire procrastination that’s disconnection, prefer it’s all about connection and disconnection, and I simply really feel like seeing that. And it’s not like I really feel like I’ve had that message in so many alternative ways in which I’ve been uncovered to, however I needed to really feel prepared sufficient emotionally to attach. And so what I’ve been doing this week is reconnecting myself. So on Sunday, I had that realization of, like, oh, what’s all these disconnecting ideas about like, why is my mind similar to, disconnect from this, disconnect from that, and what’s what’s happening there?
I began studying, Dissolve the Drawback by Richard Dotts, which is a incredible, slim little e book that’s actually was simply echoing again a lot of what I do know to be true, however the best way it was stated simply actually resonated by way of methods to join with an answer and what that appears like. And so I used to be making use of that to love, Okay, what about this example? How would I apply this precept? And like, I used to be chatting that out with ChatGPT of like, hey, if I took this precept, how do I apply that right here? If I took that right here, like, and simply actually, not simply studying it, however connecting with the fabric within the e book, and, like, doing that self teaching and that work with that materials, after which being like, oh, like, I can see it’s all about this connection. So yesterday, what I did, gonna let you know my plan for this week. Then we’ll wrap up yesterday, what I did is that I related again to myself as a creator. I related again with my craft and studying that e book, The dissolve the issue, e book that related me again to my love of private growth and the way nerdy I’m about like, oh, like, and for those who do that, I like that, and never from this place of fixing, which I feel is initially how I received into the non-public growth world, however like, simply fascinated.
I’m endlessly inquisitive about how the mind works, and like all these ideas of identification and manifestation and all of this, I like it. Prefer it. It actually energizes me a lot, and so I reconnected like that, reconnected me. After which yesterday, I used to be like, hey, all I’m gonna do is simply reconnect with my spark, like reconnect with myself, in order that I can spark concepts. And that’s one thing I’m very skilled in. However after I’m disconnected, the spark isn’t there, and I really feel like a part of it, I haven’t been letting myself document new episodes like I’ve been tying my arms behind my again. I did an episode on that some time in the past, which I feel is among the most profound realizations I’ve had as nicely. And simply seeing me tie my arms behind my again is disconnection. It’s me disconnecting from what the enterprise wants, which may be evolution, which may be iteration, which could imply a brand new thought. It would imply doubling down on one thing else, however after I tie my arms behind my again, that’s after I’m attempting to get one thing proper, and I’m ignoring what is definitely like proper beneath my nostril, and I really feel like my arms are tied as a result of I do know what must be executed, and I’m not letting myself do what must be executed.
So actually like having yesterday, I used to be similar to, letting myself do no matter I needed, and within the title of connection, is form of the factor. So I learn a e book, I sat on the deck with my breakfast, and I simply journaled, and I simply then was like, Oh, I really feel like recording, and selecting up my cellphone and simply recording, like a face to digicam, form of like, pondering of it prefer it’s an Instagram story, however like, I’m gonna document that. After which I used to be like, Oh, I might really do one on this. So I recorded that, and I used to be like, Oh, I might really do one on this. After which I recorded that one, that one was about half-hour in complete. So I used to be like, okay, that might be was a podcast episode, however I don’t have to do this proper now. I’m similar to, letting myself reconnect. I went for a exercise on the fitness center that I’m going to, and I related with individuals there. I didn’t like, simply look down and like, I can do this after I’m like, feeling disconnected is I simply, like, form of attempt to not make eye contact with individuals, and I’m simply not attempting to, like, be impolite or something. I’m simply feeling disconnected.
After which I don’t like remind myself to attach and the way highly effective that’s, so then I simply create extra disconnection. Then I got here residence, and I used to be like, I simply really feel like studying for a bit. After which they had been enjoying the Taylor Swift new album, lifetime of a present woman on the fitness center. And I used to be like, I really really feel like listening to that. After which I used to be like, hey, what’s Taylor’s human design? And what like have you learnt what I imply? I’m similar to doing no matter I would like. I’m gonna learn that e book once more and hearken to Taylor Swift. And I used to be like, I really really feel like recording about what I’m sharing now, but in addition within the lens of, I’m gonna do a behind the scenes episode of the launch for perfectionist getting shit executed that we have now developing, and I’m simply gonna share this. And I walked across the deck of our home. I used to be scooting round on Liddy scooter for a few of it. I used to be standing within the pantry for a few of it as a result of I wanted to cost my cellphone. I used to be simply speaking actually into voice memos on my cellphone, no recording tools.
I used to be like, I simply need to share about this. And like, actually hash it out for myself and letting myself document issues, and I didn’t know, and I nonetheless don’t know, will I share that on the primary podcast? Will I share that simply with my teaching purchasers? Will I by no means share that and it’s simply purely for my very own profit? I don’t know, however I do know the act of sharing that connects me like really recording it. And so I’m going to do this. That was yesterday, after which in the present day, I used to be like, Okay, what I have to do, what I need to do is shut that connection loop and be publishing issues once more. Like, I must be publishing issues I haven’t even and that is so uncommon for the podcast I haven’t recorded, like, revealed an episode final week, after which there was, like, two weeks earlier than that, there was one which didn’t exit, and similar to a symptom of this disconnection. And so I’ve been noticing it, however then not able emotionally to not be disconnected and to reconnect myself.
So then when it got here to in the present day, I used to be like, I need to to truly be publishing issues and all of that. After which what I seen was like, really, first earlier than I do this, I have to reconnect to the enterprise. I have to reconnect to So yesterday, I related to purchasers and training, and was within the PGSD discussion board teaching. We didn’t have a training name yesterday, so I used to be like, related and studying everybody, like what they’re as much as and what they’re engaged on and all of that. And so then I used to be feeling much more related. So in the present day I used to be like, Hey, I really actually really feel like the subsequent step is to attach again to the enterprise and to connect with myself as a enterprise lady, not simply as a twin mother of 4, who’s like, form of having a enterprise as a aspect hustle, which isn’t the vibe, however had form of inadvertently turn out to be the vibe, as a result of Liam is 4 and a half months outdated at this level, and I needed to maintain working, or, like, not have any laborious parameters round what I’d be working and never working.
And so it did simply form of merge that, like, within the workplace right here we had, like, and I’m organizing cabinets and issues like that, and like, systemizing loads of the home to be able to cut back psychological load, and, like, make issues lots simpler. And I really feel like, now all my infants are right here, like, now I might simply nest in a means that i is simply so totally different to nesting in being pregnant is like nesting now you will have all of your birds within the nest with you, so there’s loads of that reorganizing taking place. And like my private model and like determining what that appears like. And similar to loads of shifts which were taking place beginning to, like, manifest in bodily actuality. However I had right here, like, my the toys that had overflowed from the cabinet and issues like that. After which I had, like, as a result of the youngsters, if I’m in right here they usually’re awake, they’ll, which isn’t taking place that a lot. However when Lydia, if I’m going to work throughout the twins nap time and Liam’s nap time, then she’s going to typically are available with in right here with me, and she or he needs to do enterprise with me, which, after all, I’m going to help that.
My dream is that we began enterprise collectively, me and all my children, that we have now a enterprise collectively. So I’m, like, eager to foster that. However I had, like, pens all over the place, and like unicorn drawings and all these various things, and like what I did to. I used to be like, I need to reconnect with the enterprise. I’m simply going to intuit what that truly seems like, like, what, what I’m going to only really feel into it, like that female power of I’m simply going to, like, really feel into what reference to the enterprise seems like for me. And so what I ended up doing, I simply form of like verbally processed, which I like doing at ChatGPT, however I similar to, do the voice recording or no matter, and I similar to, say a bunch of stuff and simply verbally course of that means and make sense of issues. So I used to be doing that about, like, what the reconnection would appear like. I’m like, I really feel like really cleansing up my area, and never from this, like avoidant power, actually. Like, cleansing is usually a connective apply or a disconnective apply, for those who’re disconnected, like for those who’re attempting to keep away from one thing, and so that you’re cleansing as a solution to distract your self from having to do the factor you really need to be related with. However this was such a connecting factor.
I used to be like, I need to actually rework the workplace into a unique power, and I’ve been feeling just like the design of the workplace feels outdated, or like I’ve moved previous it. It’s been like how it’s with my gallery wall you might need seen on Instagram, which I like, by the best way, however like, I’ve had it like this for 3 years. I simply really feel like I’m prepared for what’s subsequent. And on the weekend when Liddy was in right here with me, she was like, Oh, Mother, I need to shut the curtains and the block out curtains. And I used to be like, Oh, I like main the second. She’s like, I need to shut it. I used to be like, Okay, you may shut it. And shut it. And I used to be like, this really feels so good, as a result of it doesn’t even really feel like I’m in my residence as a result of I can’t see we stay on acreage. We’ve got, like, stunning grass and timber and all the pieces out the window. However like, I really really feel like I’m getting into, like a unique portal, if you’ll, like, I’m in a unique area. And so I’ve received the curtains closed presently, which I usually wouldn’t do. I’m like, after all, I need to have the daylight and, like all of that. I like having a window. But additionally I need to simply really feel like I’m someplace totally different with out having so as to add a commute.
Like, actually final as a result of, like, do I’m going to a co working area once more or get an workplace? Like, really, what I’m craving is switching off household life mode and mum mode, and switching on to being a businesswoman and being in that mentality. And so in the present day, I used to be like, Hey, I simply need to, like, replace my area. And so I simply did very basic items. I received I put to the aspect, like each different room on this home may be very very similar to, we have now a lot of photographs up of all the youngsters and all of that, and however I had photographs right here of the youngsters proper in entrance of me, and on my screensaver, like my wallpaper. And I used to be like, I really need to have or not it’s enterprise associated. And like, this room is enterprise associated. And like, for simply me as a enterprise lady. And naturally, I’m nonetheless a mother, and naturally I nonetheless take into consideration the youngsters, however I’m not That’s not what I imply to attach with whereas I’m on this room. What I’m needing to attach with on this room is me as a businesswoman, and to attach with the enterprise and to attach with my purchasers.
And so what I did was I received out enterprise books which were on our different bookshelf. I don’t have a bookshelf in right here, really, however I put them on the aspect desk. I put a chair again in right here so I’ve a comfortable little nook for journaling. And I need to have a unique chair, however that chair is adequate. So I’ve received that chair, I’ve received one other plant, and I’ve received a candle lit proper in entrance of me. I had, like, my MacBook, I’ve two screens, an enormous one, after which my MacBook Air is open and it’s propped up so it’s at a great top, so I’m not having to, like, look down on a regular basis. And I had it simply on, like a 3 birds renovations e book and different issues like that, to have it up. However I put it on and stated, some Alex Hormozi books I’ve which can be like, enterprise associated. So I’m really, like, bringing enterprise again into the area. I took these photographs down. What else did I do? I cleaned up the cabinet a bit. That was similar to, there’s loads of stuff in that cabinet that’s extra like baby associated, like wrapping paper for presents, for teenagers birthday events and all of that form of stuff.
So I’m transferring that out, and that will probably be a part of, like, I didn’t do all of it in the present day. I simply received it to sufficiency, however I’m gonna hold reorganizing that and get issues into a unique residence. After which what I did, which I’m taking a look at proper now, which I like, is I made two display savers as a result of I used to be like, I used to be like, I need to really see my purchasers faces, as a result of I’ve so many purchasers that we work with in PGSD and in my one on one teaching, and I need to see their faces as I’m creating. And I need to simply be met with the sufficiency of my enterprise because it presently says. It’s form of like mainly a imaginative and prescient board. But when the imaginative and prescient is just like the life you’re really in is what I’ve created. And it’s the form of imaginative and prescient board that I actually did create as a display saver a few years in the past, and to only see that like having so I’ve, I went round totally different locations. I’ve received some podcast evaluations, some 5 star podcast evaluations. I’ve received all time downloads for the podcast, which is presently 3,156,000.
I’ve received little simply quotes from individuals like testimonials wins from the PGSD discussion board that folks have shared. I’ve gone into the PGSD discussion board and received little like screenshots of some PGSDers faces with their names. And it says, like, what number of posts I’ve executed, and after they joined, after they final visited, I’ve received that. And I’ve simply received, like, this wall of connection in entrance of me that I’m taking a look at, that I’ve received my revenue and loss, and I can see, and this has been an enormous factor, like, I’ve been feeling disconnected from who I’m. And I feel that was, as nicely, one of many probably the most painful issues about there was loads of pleasure with the twins postpartum simply to be clear, however one of many painful issues about it was I felt like I forgot myself. Like I felt like I not that I didn’t even know who I used to be, however like I forgot who I used to be. Like I knew who I used to be, however I used to be forgetting it, and I like, wasn’t performing like me, and significantly when it got here to enterprise, I felt just like the 12 months previous to their delivery, I felt so highly effective in enterprise, after which I didn’t really feel that means after they had been born, as a result of I didn’t understand I disconnected. I employed a advertising supervisor, which disconnected me from really doing the advertising and the promoting.
So I disconnected myself from that. I had PGSD coaches, the place our PGSDers beloved. So many advantages to all that, but in addition I wasn’t doing teaching calls, I wasn’t doing podcast episodes, like I simply really disconnected myself in so many alternative methods, after which I used to be attempting to do the right launch after I’d already found out methods to launch and to similar to to know for me that probably the most painful factor was feeling like I’d forgotten who I used to be, and I didn’t really feel highly effective. And I felt like I’ve remodeled $2 million in my enterprise, and I really feel prefer it feels so laborious to even make a couple of 100,000 like, What the hell is going on? And there was a lot disgrace round that as nicely. Like, what’s going on there? Like, was it not actual? As a result of I now, like, really feel like I can’t do this once more when, like, I deeply know methods to do it. So what I’ve received as nicely on this display is the revenue and loss from the whole lot that we have now in our accounting software program. And the general gross revenue is 2,189,000 and to only see as nicely, wish to see the revenue that we have now over that interval as nicely, and to see wages and salaries.
And similar to I’ve paid myself over or about $600,000 after which additionally by way of different large bills, or, like, technically, OPEX working bills, skilled growth, $322,000 that’s wild to me. That’s so insane in the easiest way, like, what a pleasure that I’ve been in a position to spend money on skilled and private growth, teaching, containers, masterminds, one on one, coaches, packages like I’ve received to feed my thoughts such unimaginable meals for having this enterprise. So I’ve met with that, and that’s connecting me and having me really feel so related to the purpose the place I used to be like, and now I simply really feel like I simply have to choose up the microphone and document and simply document it in such a means the place I can simply publish it, and I don’t need to do something fancy with it, or like, I can simply have it exit. And I actually hope it’s been useful to listen to me chat, to listen to me chat about connection and disconnection and the ability of reconnecting to your self, to your craft, to nature, like simply getting these connection factors again, for those who’re feeling like you’re stagnant, for those who’re feeling like you’re simply caught, otherwise you’re like returning, like I’ve been returning after a postpartum that I’m now like, oh, I really really feel able to be related to the enterprise.
Whereas till actually this week, I haven’t felt able to be related. I’ve been doing issues, however I haven’t felt wish to I’ve the capability to actually be related to the enterprise and to be related to my private life. So I’ve been actually nurturing connection in my private life, in order that within the enterprise now I might be so related and do each as an alternative of being like, nicely, if I’m going to be extra related to the enterprise, I’ve to be disconnected from my private life. I really feel like I’ve simply actually related with my private life in a means that I really feel like, and now I can simply, I’ve the capability, I’ve developed the capability by way of my pondering, to have the ability to have the capability and the reference to my enterprise, that the enterprise wants me to have, and that I need to have.
And in order that has simply been, yeah, it’s simply been a wild journey to date. And I’m like, I really feel like I I’ve, like, found out the key to the universe for me, at the very least personally, I’d seen all of it by way of this connection lens. After which tomorrow goes to be all about taking that spark content material, like connecting again as nicely to the larger targets, to the funds of the enterprise, to the operations of the enterprise, of like, what’s happening with my staff, and, like, all of these issues. However I used to be like, first I’ve received to connect with the area and, like, the power of the enterprise. And I really feel like journaling once more, and never similar to solely typing issues out, or solely voice noting and similar to all of that, and it’s simply such a non linear course of. However as I’m doing and I’m realizing there’s a linearity to it, however I’ve needed to really feel into like, Okay, begin with like, no matter I really feel like doing, just like the flowy factor, after which naturally, any systemizing is born from that, and it’s born in a very efficient means, as an alternative of what I attempt to go.
Once I’m in that perfectionist mindset, I’m feeling insecure, I’m feeling insufficient, I’m feeling like I’m behind, like several of that power, I’m feeling rushed. Then I attempt to enter that just like the masculine power of just like the quantity and the daughters and daughter and all of that. And for me, I’ve received to enter that female first. I’ve received to enter connection, after which productiveness naturally emerges. And I do find yourself doing these like masculine, I don’t imply male or feminine. There’s masculine, female power. I’m going into these extra masculine sorts of actions, however with such a unique lens, such a related lens, and I really feel like that’s that to be guys simply felt like determining the key of the universe, to have this realization of like, oh, all of it is smart. So with that stated, I hope you’re having a ravishing day, and I’ll speak to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
In case you loved this episode, I need to invite you into my teaching program known as perfectionist getting shit executed. It’s for perfectionist entrepreneurs, and inside, you’re going to study my easy, confirmed course of for methods to get out of your individual means. In your small business, you’re going to be taking constant motion with out burning out, even you probably have a full time job, you’re a guardian, you will have a well being subject, you’ve received lots in your plate. That’s precisely who we assist inside PGSD. We train you. We’ve got you grasp methods to present up for your small business and cease having the productiveness points which can be being attributable to perfectionism which can be making it so, so, so laborious to develop your small business, despite the fact that you already know you will have the potential to have a profitable enterprise, we train you methods to work along with your perfectionist mindset as an alternative of towards it, so that you might be displaying up persistently and sustainably and your small business can lastly develop. So to search out out extra about this system and to hitch us inside in the present day, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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