On this episode, I’m sharing the surprising adjustments I’ve made to how I work – and why I’m making them now, after years of getting extra structured work hours.
I speak about why my normal work construction (that helped me a lot) began feeling restrictive, the ability of constructing aligned updates to routines which have served you nicely and what to think about should you’re getting into a brand new season of life or enterprise.
To dive deeper: Need a simple solution to discover out if perfectionism is stopping your corporation from rising? Take The Perfectionism Quiz as we speak – it’s free, takes lower than 3 minutes and provides you a personalised report that lays out the straightforward steps you may take to get out of your individual method. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.
For extra recommendation: Comply with me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for extra behind-the-scenes insights and assist with getting out of your individual method in your corporation.
For full assist: Able to get out of your individual method in your corporation? Be part of the waitlist for my productiveness program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll grasp our easy, confirmed course of for getting shit accomplished with out burning out so you may lastly get your corporation off the bottom.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Hello, and welcome to a different episode of The Perfectionism Mission. A podcast stuffed with perfectionism recommendation for entrepreneurs. My title is Sam Laura Brown, I assist entrepreneurs launch their perfectionism handbrake, to allow them to get out of their very own method and construct a satisfying and worthwhile enterprise. I’m the founding father of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished group teaching program, which is in any other case referred to as PGSD. And for much more perfectionism recommendation that will help you with your corporation, you may comply with me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.
Sam Laura Brown
In as we speak’s episode, I’m gonna be sharing a few of the adjustments that I’m actually shocked to be making to my very own work schedule. So my work schedule, only for context, for the final 4 years, I’d say, truly, most likely even 5 years earlier than I had my daughter Lydia, who’s virtually 4, I began lowering my variety of workdays though I’m full time in my enterprise. I make a full time earnings from my enterprise that and I had the power to be working seven days every week if I needed to be. However I simply actually observed that for myself, being able and the need to work twenty 4 seven didn’t imply that I ought to and that I used to be truly way more productive once I had plenty of constraint round my work hours in order that I then wanted to study prioritization. I wanted to learn to get shit accomplished inside that.
I might truly get plenty of clear relaxation, all of these various things. So my work schedule for the final good few years has been three days every week. There have been some variations in that, which I speak about on this episode. However three work days per week has been what I’ve accomplished. And I’ve beloved having the boundaries round that and being clearly on or off, and I’m making adjustments to that.
So on this episode, I’m sharing why. I hope you discover it actually useful and insightful. Okay. So I simply really feel referred to as to choose up my microphone and speak about this. I’m unsure precisely how this can find yourself being delivered, however I simply needed to catch seize my present uncooked within the technique of it figuring all of it out ideas as I believe it’ll be useful to hearken to and to only hear how they develop.
So what I’m serious about in the meanwhile is basically shifting the best way that I work or, like, the parameters round how I work. And this has been actually born from being in a excessive place of self belief that has been one thing that I’ve been actively engaged on constructing for the final 12 months after feeling like I made choices and simply, like, acted in a method with myself that depleted my self belief, that I’ve now accomplished a complete lot of issues, and there’ll be episodes on all of this. I’ll be instructing this for certain. Imperfection is getting shit accomplished, in addition to my one on one teaching and this system that then emerges from that as nicely. However all of that apart, the self belief constructing course of apart, I’m now in a spot the place I’m working from, I might say, the best diploma of self belief that I’ve ever been in with my enterprise, most likely in my life as nicely.
And likewise simply eager to I used to be like, simply feeling a a shift in life seasons. In order it at present stands, once I’m recording this, I’m thirty six weeks pregnant with child quantity 4, and I’m already a mother of three, as you may guess, should you didn’t know. If I’m as much as child quantity 4, which means I’ve three. So I’ve an virtually 4 12 months previous, twin two 12 months previous, after which this child. And so I’ve been in a season of motherhood, having infants, etcetera.
However I really feel like this, mainly, like, I’ve talked about this with the twins that it felt like such an id disaster once I went from being a mother of 1 to a mother of three and that it actually referred to as in to query how I did every part in my life as a result of every part I couldn’t simply do something actually on autopilot earlier than, like, with how I used to be doing it earlier than. I couldn’t simply pop my child within the service and exit. I now had two infants, and I simply needed to function very in a different way with that. And it has simply felt like, primarily, a two 12 months interval of rebirth and, like, reinvention and determining all these various things. And so it appears like having this fourth child is, like, clicking in so lots of these, id shifts that started most likely way back, a few of them, however actually that I really feel like during the last two years, issues have been falling aside, not in a nasty method.
Like, simply to have that actual id shift in reinvention, it’s important to let go of the way you used to do some issues or how you considered issues or, like, it’s important to have there be issues that not work in order that you determine a greater solution to do it or a extra aligned method. So hope that is sensible. Anyway, so I’ve been in that technique of figuring that out and simply, like, being on that journey. And the place I’m at now, and this got here up a few weeks in the past now once I decided about mat go away. I had simply been feeling like telling myself I have to have an outlined interval the place I’m not allowed to work.
It simply felt very restrictive, like I used to be having my palms tied behind my again on my own, and I didn’t even have the need to have that plan. And it didn’t make sense additionally primarily based on how I operated with my earlier two postpartum intervals that I had the need to work. I had the mind capability to work. Sure. I used to be very sleep disadvantaged, however I additionally had a lot capability as nicely.
And so it’s totally different for everybody. However for me, what it appeared like was having that want to work, having plenty of impressed concepts, simply, like, actually being in that point the place I’m eager to work, and I used to be simply, like, telling myself I’m not allowed to only as a result of people who find themselves workers in a job don’t do it. So I shouldn’t mainly, telling myself I shouldn’t wish to work when truly I do. So I decided to not have an outlined mat go away interval, to not have an outlined, like, wrap up date or restart date, whether or not it’s every week after beginning or three months after beginning or a 12 months after beginning to only truly be like, I belief myself to work once I wish to work and to not burn myself out. I haven’t burnt out now in fairly numerous years.
I actually belief myself to have the ability to navigate it and to try this in a extremely self supportive method. I even have plenty of helps in place as nicely with that form of factor in order that I really feel like I’m not by myself in figuring that out. Like, I’ve a life coach. I’ve a enterprise coach as nicely. Like, I’ve locations to show once I’m like, wait.
I I can’t see clearly proper now. Like, what like, are you able to assist pull out the knowledge for me on this factor? So, anyway, with that call, what that has opened up is, okay. How do I truly wish to work on this season of life in enterprise? It’s not one dimension suits all.
And, additionally, I believe there’s, like, totally different seasons in your private improvement. So for me, for instance, having strict, for lack of higher phrases, or, like, boundaried work time actually supported me to unravel for the precise drawback when my mind simply informed me the issue is just not having sufficient time. So significantly in 2023 once I felt like I used to be battling issues, I used to be like, I want extra time. I want extra time. I don’t have sufficient capability.
After which I labored, like, an additional day for numerous the week, so I usually work three days. I labored a fourth day, However I might simply inform I wasn’t truly making nice use of that point, that it will take me as an alternative of having the ability to document 5 episodes in a day, which might be my normal if I’m having a podcast recording day, I might document one episode and rerecord and rerecord. And I simply was like, I do know I’m not truly like, time is just not the difficulty right here. So, so there’s that. And being boundaried with my time actually helped me clear up for that kind of lack of time is the issue.
You’re chilly, honey? Yeah. Yeah? Do you wanna get your self a blanket? Okay.
Go seize a blanket, hon. Lydia’s simply saying she’s chilly. So it actually felt supportive, and it was supportive to have boundaries round work time and clear relaxation, to develop out my hobbies, to, not devour enterprise stuff on a regular basis, like, to undergo fairly an prolonged interval, many months, not less than at this level, six months of, like, not listening to any enterprise podcast in my time, not working. I’m, like, simply actually growing out the remainder of my life much more and my id to go rather a lot additional than work. And I really feel like now that I’ve accomplished plenty of that work, that having such the identical form of boundaries doesn’t really feel as supportive because it did and likewise due to the upper stage of self belief.
It finally appears like I can now as a result of I I understand how to get actually top quality clear relaxation. Even once I’m taking care of my children, I understand how to change my mind off. I understand how to essentially prioritize my duties and tasks and what I’m engaged on in order that the work time I’ve strikes the enterprise ahead. I understand how to create a way of completeness even when every part isn’t accomplished in order that I’m not like, oh, no. I simply want to complete this, after which I’ll be capable to relaxation.
I understand how to deliberately create that sense of completeness. I understand how to determine the bottlenecks and the needle movers and what’s most vital. And a lot of that has been discovered by means of having clear boundaries round once I’m working and once I’m not and sticking to these boundaries and fixing for issues inside that reasonably than simply including extra time from the thought that lack of time is an issue or if, like, I might simply if solely I might work twenty 4 seven, like, pondering that that might assist it. Like, I might simply inform that that was the expansion I wanted in that season, and now I really feel like I’m actually in a season of leaning into much more so the self belief of getting it’s not even flexibility as a result of what works rather well for me, like, I don’t love being like, I’m gonna get to this two hours of labor in some unspecified time in the future throughout the weekend, and I don’t know when. Although perhaps over time, simply having the ability to be in that can be a great place for me to be mentally.
However at present, I simply nonetheless love having determined forward of time, like, okay. I’m planning to try this whereas the twins are napping on Saturday In order that the remainder of the time, I’m not like, when will I try this, etcetera. So there’s space for development there, like, room for development. However I need to have the ability to not really feel like, nicely, if I’m working outdoors of my normal hours, then I’m doing it improper. And at present, the strictness I’ve round it does make it really feel like that as an alternative of being like, I belief myself to work once I wish to work, and there’s additionally no rush.
I’ve accomplished a lot work, a lot, like, emotional capability work. I did all types of various work to essentially not be in a rush to construct my enterprise, to not be in a rush to get issues accomplished, to note once I’m bodily in a rush, like, feeling it in my chest, slowing myself down, zooming out, seeing the massive image, I do know that once I’m doing issues in a rush, it solely creates a multitude that takes extra time to scrub up than if I simply gradual myself down, zoom out, keep in mind the larger image, determine issues from a peaceful, grounded place, and all of that. So what I’m eager to do now could be to have the ability to work once I wish to work. And it clearly, like, it’s fairly a easy factor to do. I simply work once I wanna work.
That’s what I what I’m gonna be doing. There’s no, like, massive plan I want round that. However, additionally, it’s a actual shift in how I’ve been working and serious about myself and my id and self picture and, like, simply having the ability to be like, I can truly do what like, I can put up one thing on Instagram, and however then I’m not then spending like, I don’t have this psychological tab open of, like, I wanna test again or no matter. Like, I simply am in a position to work in the best way that I usually work, however with plenty of totally different, at plenty of totally different occasions of day or, like, issues like that, if that is sensible. So I’m simply kinda, like, eradicating the construction and doing so in a method that will increase self belief.
I believe there’ll be a studying curve or, like, only a a self consciousness time that I’ll particularly with my energy planning, I’ll nonetheless positively be energy planning. It very a lot helps versatile construction in this type of method of working. So I can be utilizing that actually in such a robust solution to mirror on what’s working for me and when are these occasions that, doing a little work is coming from a spot of self belief, or is it coming from rush or issues like that. So, I’m gonna be doing that, and I’m simply form of, like, determining what I wish to do. It does really feel like untying my palms from behind my again, which I did a complete episode on that idea.
And it has been so highly effective for me in my very own life to determine that feeling of, like, primarily pointless restriction when I’m making a rule. And generally as in on this case, the rule supported me rather well in a sure season of enterprise life private improvement. And now that rule simply feels a bit old-fashioned, that it wants an replace to really mirror the place I’m at present at and what my present work is. And so I don’t wanna have that rigidity of like, nicely, this labored so nicely for me final 12 months to suppose this fashion, so it ought to nonetheless work now. Like, truly, I’m a really totally different human now to this time final 12 months.
And simply because that was what I wanted then isn’t doesn’t imply that’s what I want proper now. In order that’s what I’m as much as. And a giant a part of this has simply been, like, permitting myself to document issues with out even figuring out which particular podcast episode will probably be for for if it’ll ever even be revealed or issues like that to only truly let issues circulation by means of me. So that’s what I’m doing with recording this. I simply felt referred to as to choose up my microphone and speak about it.
So, yeah, I’m simply within the center or, like, even simply to start with levels of beginning to be like as we speak, for instance, I had a pal come over this morning. We had a catch up. I Steve is working, so I’m taking care of the youngsters. The twins are at present asleep. They nonetheless have, like, a two, two and a half hour fairly strong like, their strong nappers nap.
Lily is awake, and she or he doesn’t have naps anymore. And he or she was in right here earlier than, like, coloring in issues like that whereas I used to be doing stuff. She’s at present watching TV. She’s watching some Blippi on YouTube on the TV. And simply having the ability to be like, I can truly work on a non workday and if I wish to.
And as we speak, I used to be like, I would love to try this. And, additionally, that I’ve the capability to try this. As I discussed, I’m thirty six weeks pregnant, and I additionally truly have to get an iron infusion, which can be taking place very quickly. My to not get into the weeds, however my ferritin is low. My, like, hemoglobin or no matter is regular, and I’m not feeling tremendous drained.
However, additionally, like, my physique has a big a big child inside it that I’m nonetheless rising rather a lot every week. And so it’s straightforward to be within the story of, like, no. I positively have to nap or, like, not even nap. I haven’t been napping not too long ago. However I positively have to, like, have a really restful time whereas the twins are asleep in order that I’ve power for the afternoon to really change my ideas to extend my capability.
So being within the ideas of, truly, I can work, and I can have that work energize me and have much more power within the afternoon work and doing this. Even when I’m making choices or doing issues that require psychological power, this isn’t depleting me for the afternoon. That is truly energizing me. And so I’ve simply been doing plenty of work on capability and rising my capability by means of altering my pondering and different issues as nicely, however primarily altering my pondering. And so I simply discovered myself earlier than this been like, I wanna work, then do I have to, like, take it straightforward?
I’m like, no. I can truly simply work in a extremely energizing method, and that’s energizing for me. Like, the story that work is energizing for me is basically supportive, and it’s not my entire life. And and it’s to not say it’s improper for anybody who’s like, and it’s my entire life, and I really like that. However for me, I’ve children that I wanna spend time with, a husband I wanna spend time with, pals I wanna spend time with, dwelling tasks that I actually wanna be doing.
It’s only one side of my life, and it’s a side of my life that energizes me. And simply because it energizes me doesn’t imply I wanna do it all the time. However, additionally, I can do it once I wish to do it, and that may most likely look fairly totally different to how different folks would possibly do it. And I’ll have my very own work rhythms and issues like that that different folks won’t perceive or they could utterly perceive, however it’s not going to look most likely like becoming right into a 9 to 5 scenario. And it’s simply gonna appear to be the way it seems to be for me.
And so with the mat go away choice, that took plenty of self belief as nicely to be like, I’m truly gonna determine one thing that I haven’t actually seen anybody, not less than in my private life, determine. And the identical with this and as nicely, like, I simply wanna wrap up by saying being prepared to replace your strategy is so highly effective as a result of it will be really easy for me to be like, oh, no. I actually educate, like, having these boundaried work hours and clear relaxation, however I’m not within the season the place I’m studying these classes, that these issues are there to show. And I deeply consider in that philosophy and that strategy when somebody is needing to study the teachings that these issues educate. However then in some unspecified time in the future, you’re not needing to study these classes anymore, and you should replace the strategy to meet up with the place you at the moment are.
And I see this as nicely as a result of PGSD is lifetime entry, that we have now plenty of PGSDers who’ve been in PGSD for 2 years or three years, they usually’re nonetheless actively engaged in the neighborhood. However, additionally, they are going to then be making use of issues. Like, they’ve already gotten the results of PGSD way back. They’ve already been in a position to be getting shit accomplished with out burning out and know they’re not good at productiveness. However they’ve, like, they’ve such an unbelievable transformation, however then they simply stored making use of issues that had been not, like, with out updating them, that had been not serving them for the place they’re at present and reflecting that they’ve truly grown and advanced.
And that is a part of why I began doing the one on one teaching and I’m growing out the factor to return subsequent after PGSD as a result of I simply observed as nicely, particularly as perfectionists, had been like, oh, no. Till I’ve utterly mastered all the fundamentals, I can’t truly transfer on. Like, it’s important to truly permit your self to graduate even while you’re not good at it. Like, I’m not good on the boundaried work hours. I’m fairly rattling good, however I’m positively not good at it.
However, additionally, on this season, that isn’t the strategy that’s most going to serve me, and it’s time to study a brand new strategy as a result of I’m not needing these classes anymore. I’ve discovered mentally switching off and the clear relaxation and never believing my mind once I suppose I simply want extra time. And I’m not altering my work construction as a result of I want extra time to work. I’m actually altering it to assist the approach to life that I wanna have and the season that I’m in. And likewise within the enterprise, like, I’m simply having fun with as an alternative of working three days three full days after which having 4 days doing nothing work associated.
I’m loving this, like and I did this again to start with. It was, like, touching your purpose daily, like, doing one thing associated to what you’re engaged on in your corporation. So for me, that was, like, earlier than I went to my full time accounting job, I might be, engaged on my enterprise for, like, an hour within the morning. I awakened very early to suit that in. I awakened at, like, 4AM, do, like, an hour on my enterprise, my weblog, after which I’d additionally go to the gymnasium and I’d catch the practice at, like, quarter previous seven to enter the town and do my full time accounting job.
And since simply I had discovered as nicely, that is a part of, like, reflection, that I had discovered that if I attempted to get shit accomplished on the finish of the day, I simply truly like, my mind was a lot extra drained from working all day. And, additionally, I needed to hang around with Steve. Like, there was different issues I needed to do, and it simply felt like an uphill battle as an alternative of, nicely, truly, I might simply get up within the morning, do one thing for myself earlier than I do one thing for my boss on the accounting agency. I might do one thing for myself. I might contact my purpose daily.
So it was like actually creating that id that I’ve a enterprise. I’ve a enterprise that’s gonna achieve success. I’ve a enterprise I’m dedicated to. And so it’s virtually like a return to that in a way as a result of I’ve actually simply been on this, like, creating momentum for the final six months. And I’m actually in a season of, like, I might simply actually get pleasure from having the ability to do like, to consider the enterprise daily, however not for the entire day.
However to have that daily reasonably than have three longer chunks on my three work days after which nothing on the opposite day. So it’s simply finally updating it to mirror the place I’m at present at, and it’s actually vital to only discover for your self if you end up in that, and, like, the approaches you’re taking to issues. Like, am I needing the teachings that this factor particularly is right here to show? As a result of I as I mentioned, I nonetheless wholeheartedly consider within the energy of actually boundaried work hours and clear relaxation while you don’t wish to have clear relaxation. That’s for somebody who’s, like who doesn’t but perceive the ability of fresh relaxation, who’s simply working on a regular basis as a result of that’s their entire id, they usually really feel responsible once they’re not relaxation they’re not working.
They really feel responsible once they’re not being productive. They’re working from a spot of I’m behind, and I have to catch up. If that’s you, you do have to have some, like, construction there so that you simply don’t simply work on a regular basis and maintain perpetuating these ideas. However then after getting truly cleaned up the way you do issues within the sense of, like, you’re in a position to have clear relaxation, the place you’re not feeling responsible, the place you’re not feeling or working from a spot of being behind and continually making an attempt to catch up, and I ought to already achieve success by now. And, like, in that entitlement while you’re truly simply within the place the place you may relaxation and take time without work, You don’t really feel responsible about it.
You’re completely satisfied to only not be in a rush with your corporation. Like, it’s such a robust place to be. If you’re in that place, then it’s like, okay. Now that you’ve discovered tips on how to function in these boundaries and solved for the thought that I simply want extra time. Like, should you nonetheless consider I simply want extra time and that might clear up my issues, having that actually boundaried strategy that we educate in PGFC, so vital.
As a result of including extra time will solely make you extra drained and extra annoyed as a result of lack of time is just not the difficulty. So that you’ve gotta truly try this work. And I’ve accomplished that work nicely and really. Once I actually needed so as to add extra time, I didn’t let myself as a result of I needed to unravel for the precise drawback, and now I’ve solved for that with the mindset and emotional work. Now it’s like taking the boundaries off and or taking them away.
And it makes me take into consideration we didn’t truly do that with the twins, as a result of we had Lydia once they got here. However when Lydia was what’s the phrase? An toddler? Mainly, when she was beginning to study to crawl and we hadn’t but child proofed the home. And likewise, we needed to have the ability to, like, go and, like, be within the kitchen and never have her, like, crawl up into all totally different locations.
We had the playpen up, fairly a giant one, however we had a playpen up in our lounge, which was the boundary for her to be in. After which, clearly, in some unspecified time in the future, we mentioned, like, okay. She doesn’t want this boundary anymore, and so we’re going to take away the playpen. And we didn’t even have one with the twins as a result of by then, a, we already had a way more child proofed home as a result of we have already got Lydia undergo all of it. Plus, additionally, Lydia couldn’t go over the playpen, so it simply meant if we had that, it will create an excessive amount of separation and simply not be sensible.
So, once more, updating issues of not simply nicely, as a result of we did this with Lydia, we have now to do that with the twins of, like, what truly is sensible now to do? And I can select one thing totally different to what I selected earlier than. Sure, Lydia? Yeah? We don’t have any apples, honey.
You possibly can have a mandarin or a banana. Plum. Or a plum. Yeah? Okay.
I’ll come reduce it up for you in two minutes. So anyway, it’s about what makes probably the most sense now within the season that I’m in, and I’m prepared to make a special choice to what I made earlier than in related seeming circumstances and even precisely the identical circumstances. And particularly after getting elevated your self belief, doesn’t need to be good, however after getting elevated it, then you may have much less boundaries with while you do sure issues and while you don’t. And it’s simply actually tuning into, like, what actually helps you and what like, I really like that idea of untying your palms behind your again as a result of it’s actually about, like, the place am I unnecessarily or unhelpfully proscribing myself, and what choice can I make now in order that I’m not feeling that? So, for instance, in that, I talked about with the PGSD launches that in 2022, we had, like we simply have PGSD open for enrollment for and that’s the one factor we’re promoting.
We don’t promote anything. We don’t promote one on one teaching though folks had been asking for that. We solely promote perfectionist getting shit accomplished. We do 4 launches a 12 months. We ended up doing a launch in December proper earlier than, I’ve my twins.
However we have now one 1 / 4. I deliberate out all of the dates firstly of the 12 months of 2022, and I needed to unravel for tips on how to launch like, tips on how to actually clear up for tips on how to have these launches have us obtain our purpose. And I did like, I made a lot progress that 12 months from having that strategy. After which in 2023, after we had been in a special scenario, I used to be like, nicely, we nonetheless have to solely have PGSD launches and solely have them as soon as 1 / 4. And the circumstances had been totally different, and it meant, truly, what would serve the enterprise is having the ability to promote different issues if we needed to and likewise not having to have or not it’s simply, like, as soon as 1 / 4 as a result of we had just a few launches.
And I’ve accomplished, like, launch debrief recap episodes on these so you may go and discover them. However we had just a few launches that underperformed, after which it simply put extra strain as a result of we stored that very same choice. It simply put extra strain on the following launch, and that was twelve weeks away. So then we had no income no new income coming in, like, no chance of that even taking place for twelve extra weeks. After which due to the strain that was on that, then that additionally underperformed.
After which it simply, like, was on this cycle. And so in 2024, I’m certain that is what I talked about in that episode, I used to be like, truly, we’re not simply doing it that method anymore. We want an up to date choice. And so then entered this era of, like, fixing for what’s that call, and that was so highly effective. So it simply appears like that with this of, like, this was a extremely useful solution to strategy work.
And now I’m truly in a special scenario and fixing for various issues and have totally different classes to study. And I’d say for me now, the lesson to study is tips on how to work each time I wish to. And, clearly, generally it takes group as a result of I’ve children and since I’ve different commitments and issues like that. So generally I would wish to work and it’s simply not sensible or issues like that. However, additionally, how like, mainly, I’m simply pondering again to what I used to be saying.
So with the like, what lesson I’m studying is tips on how to work each time I need whereas sustaining being mentally switched off once I’m not working or not eager to work and never having it simply seep into all of my mind area. I really feel fairly quietly assured with that that the teachings I’ve discovered about mentally switching off, I can apply even with much less boundaried work hours. However I believe there’ll nonetheless be some determining of that, some teaching and self teaching and all of that. However I’m actually excited to only be like, I’m now fixing for this and simply I do know from, like, the teachings I discovered from having such a boundary strategy that I can coach in such a robust method when somebody’s like, I simply want extra time. They’re like, yeah.
You would possibly want extra time, however let’s examine x y z first to really see should you want extra time as a result of our brains simply love to offer us that one. If I simply had extra time, if I simply didn’t have children, if I simply didn’t have this well being challenge, if I simply didn’t have a full time job, like, oh my god. Like, for me, having my full time job, I used to be totally within the I simply didn’t have a full time job story. After which I left my full time job and went to a special half time job that required rather a lot much less psychological power as nicely. And I simply productively procrastinated for 5 months as a result of the complete time job wasn’t the issue.
The issue was my perfectionist fears that had me getting in my very own method, they usually didn’t go once I left the complete time job. So, anyway, there’s so many classes I really feel like I’ve discovered alongside the best way of various seasons of life and enterprise and private improvement, and this simply appears like that subsequent season for me. And actually simply having the ability to be like, I’m truly, like, proudly owning the id of I’m truly not somebody who simply follows the foundations and does what everybody else does, and I’m prepared to experiment with so many various approaches as nicely inside my very own life. But additionally, the Matly one significantly was identical to, I’m not seeing anybody else do that. And as an alternative of me being like, nicely, I ought to do what everybody else does though I’m not an worker, though I can work from my sofa whereas having a contact nap and, like, having my child sleeping on my chest, though I really like my work and lots of people don’t, though it energizes me and all these various things that I’m not truly in the identical place as individuals who usually wish to have a sure form of mat go away, I’m truly simply permitting myself to make the choice I wanna make.
It was simply so good telling Steve, he’s like, nicely, yeah, in fact. It is sensible so that you can simply belief your self and work while you need. Like, you we all know you’re gonna work anyway. Like, you’re keen on doing that. You like constructing your corporation.
And I don’t see like, he was like, your mind nonetheless works while you’re postpartum. Like, why why would you not permit your self to work if that’s what you wanna do? I used to be like, sure. Thanks. That’s precisely what I’m pondering.
And simply telling certainly one of my actually good pals, she was like, yeah. In fact. Like, you don’t do what everybody else is doing, and I really like that you simply’re simply deciding what truly works for you and doing that. And I used to be speaking with one other certainly one of my good pals as we speak, and she or he is an worker, however she’s in a extremely excessive place within the firm that she’s in. She has a lot capability.
Like, she’s so unbelievable at what she does. And we had been simply speaking about for her scenario and having children sooner or later and simply, like, the judgment that comes from deciding to not have a mat go away or to have a shorter mat go away than the 12 months, which is typical right here in Australia. And simply how a lot strain there’s, simply not even, like, intentional strain, however simply how a lot expectation there’s and judgment primarily of, like, in case your mat go away doesn’t appear to be this, then it both means you’re a nasty mother or no matter and simply, like, we truly and that is I’m saying this since you most likely want to listen to it, that if you wish to create a brand new regular for, like, how will probably be in case you are a mum or dad in your personal children sooner or later, like and all of that and to have your youngsters not have the identical form of, societal judgment or strain or no matter, then you should be prepared to be a trailblazer and to be an instance of doing it in a different way, which suggests you should be prepared to be misunderstood as a result of by, like, the very advantage of what you’re doing, you might be doing one thing in a different way to how the usual is.
And most of the people can be like, wait. Why are you doing it like that when everybody else does it like this? And so it doesn’t imply it’s important to inform everybody about what you’re doing and that anytime anybody asks you what your choice is, it’s important to inform them the reality about it and get into the weeds and have pointless debates. However simply to really be by means of your life an instance of what it seems to be love to do issues the best way you wish to do it and to do issues within the non typical method is such a present for thus many different individuals who do want somebody to go quick. They do want an instance.
Or additionally future generations who want the wave of individuals to return within the technology earlier than them who’re prepared to be misunderstood, who’re prepared to be judged for doing it in a different way, for doing it in a method that made extra sense. That’s what truly creates change. And so we’re simply speaking about, like yeah. Like, should you should you’re going to go in opposition to the norm. And, like, we wish to try this as a result of in any other case, if we’re going with the norm however not truly wanting to try this it’s totally different if you wish to try this.
However should you don’t wish to try this, you then we’re simply perpetuating that norm by appearing in accordance with it after we don’t have the need to try this. And I really like simply having the ability to be an instance of, like, you may truly work whereas having your fourth child and do it with out burning out and do it with out being solely centered in your work and that’s your entire life. Like, I wanna be an am, I believe, an instance of what it may possibly look love to do each, and I’m not good at that. And that’s a part of it. I’m not meant to be good at it.
It’s by means of all the distinction of expertise, by means of all the the teachings and the occasions which can be actually exhausting and the occasions which can be straightforward and all of that that the teachings come and that the instance is shaped. So, yeah, that’s the place I’m at at present with what I’m serious about. It’s felt so good too to even simply be like, I’m simply gonna document an episode, which I used to be truly gonna document for ten minutes and have this I used to be pondering, like, it could possibly be a part of a compilation episode. However I really feel like that is most likely simply an episode in and of itself, and I don’t need to publish it. I would by no means publish it, however, additionally, I most likely will.
And simply permitting myself to be like, if I simply really feel referred to as to talk on a subject as a result of it’s prime of thoughts for me, I don’t have any notes. You can most likely inform. I don’t have any notes in any way for this episode. I’m simply sharing the place I’m at and what I’m engaged on and hope that by doing that, it offers you permission. It offers you simply extra self perception, extra reference to your self and what’s true for you by me connecting with myself and what’s true for me and expressing that.
So that’s my hope. That’s my want with my podcast, with PGSD, with my one on one teaching, with all the selections I’ve made and issues like that. And at all times, I really feel like I’ve simply been saying slash pondering this rather a lot currently due to conversations I’ve had. It’s by no means about, like, right here’s a call that Sam made or another person made, so I ought to do the identical factor. That pondering is just not how we wanna be pondering as entrepreneurs or simply people usually as a result of it’s straightforward to take a look at, like, a mentor you’ve gotten or a coach or a pal and be like, oh, I ought to make the identical choice.
Even with me with the mat go away once I’d first determined to have three months, that it was , like, nicely, different folks determined this choice, so I ought to make the identical. As a substitute of, like, wait. What was their choice making course of, and the way can I apply that course of? And once I apply that very same course of, I get a really totally different outcome as a result of I’m in a really totally different circumstance with a special mindset and totally different values and various things like that. So it’s like all of this and something that you simply come throughout ever is like, who’s this recommendation for?
What context is that this in? And likewise the individual giving this, what stage of life or enterprise or private improvement are they in or are they speaking about or speaking to? And likewise, what’s their choice making course of? So for instance, for this, the choice making course of is, okay, if I trusted myself, what choice would I make versus what’s the best choice or what’s everybody else doing? So with that mentioned, Lydia is asking, so I’m gonna wrap up.
However I hope you’re having a lovely day, and I’ll speak to you within the subsequent episode.
Outro
Should you get pleasure from this podcast, I like to recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program referred to as Perfectionists Getting Shit Finished (aka PGSD). It is a program designed that will help you get out of your individual method in your corporation. You’re gonna learn to launch your perfectionism handbrake by setting a development purpose for your corporation, planning correctly as a perfectionist with Energy Planning and getting common guilt-free clear relaxation. You’ll study the abilities required to get out of your individual method and be supported each step of the best way to do it.
Whereas the doorways to PGSD are at present closed, they are going to be opening once more quickly. So to search out out extra about this system and be a part of the waitlist as we speak, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.
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