Tune in for a behind-the-scenes replace alone perfectionism challenge.
I’m sharing my classes from final month as a perfectionist entrepreneur together with the challenges I confronted, the breakthroughs I had, what I did to shift out of perfectionist pondering and what I’m engaged on subsequent to continue to grow my enterprise.
As all the time, it’s uncooked and trustworthy and insanely useful.
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
That is the Perfectionism Undertaking, the one podcast created particularly for perfectionists who’re constructing companies. I’m your host, Sam Laura Brown, perfectionism knowledgeable and entrepreneur. I educate perfectionists methods to plan correctly, persistently comply with by means of and relaxation with out guilt to allow them to construct worthwhile and fulfilling companies with out burning out.
I’ve helped over a thousand perfectionist entrepreneurs do precisely that inside my program, Perfectionist Getting Shit Carried out. Should you’re uninterested in procrastinating, overthinking and half ending your concepts, you’re in the suitable place. Now, let’s dive in.
Sam Laura Brown (Begin of the episode)
Hi there, howdy, welcome to this episode. I’m excited, I hope you’re too, as a result of this episode is a return to one thing that I used to do this was so liked. I like doing it, you’re keen on listening, in the event you have been a listener again then, lots of you who pay attention right this moment have been listening for a very long time.
However possibly you’ve by no means heard this sort of episode. In that case, you will be delighted as a result of what I’m doing is I’m sharing every month going ahead a replace behind the scenes of what’s happening with me when it comes to my private progress and getting out of my very own means in my enterprise and in addition when it comes to my enterprise. So I used to do these episodes after I began my podcast, which was 2017.
I did them primarily in 2018, 2019. I believe I did 2020 as nicely. As soon as I received pregnant with my daughter, Lydia, I consider is after I stopped doing them, although I haven’t gone again to take a look.
However I consider I ended round then as a result of it was actually exhausting to speak about what was truly happening for me in my enterprise after I was pregnant and that was having such a big effect on my day-to-day, however I didn’t but need to announce it. I introduced my pregnancies fairly late in for the entire pregnancies that I’ve, my three pregnancies for my 4 youngsters as I’m a mother. And yeah, I simply have been lacking this a lot.
That is my favourite type of podcast episode to take heed to. It’s my favourite type of episode to document, as in I don’t pay attention again. Truly, I’ve just lately been listening again to a few of the previous ones.
It’s been tremendous useful, however I don’t pay attention again. I imply, after I’m listening to another person share as an entrepreneur, that is the type of stuff that simply helps me actually perceive the precise entrepreneurial journey versus my very own perfectionist expectations of what it ought to be like. Helps me really feel much less alone, helps me see a means ahead, helps me know what I must be doing in a different way and giving me perception into my very own expertise.
I simply adore it. So what I’m doing is I’m returning to one thing that has been so core to my enterprise, which is documenting. In 2017, I consider, I watched a video from Gary Vaynerchuk known as Doc Don’t Create, and that idea alone launched my perfectionism handbrake in such a giant means, the concept being, and you’ll go and look it up on YouTube in the event you sort in these key phrases, however the idea being as an alternative of making an attempt to create content material, simply doc what you’re doing.
Doc your personal journey as a result of A, it’s so beneficial to others, much more beneficial than like put collectively content material the place you’re making an attempt to show one thing or something like that. And likewise it’s identical to superb so that you can have personally. And the opposite factor I’ve been actually desirous about with this earlier than I get into my replace on the final month, which was so fascinating, is that actually for me, the title, The Perfectionism Undertaking, as a result of just like the title of the podcast and the enterprise, it’s the enterprise title is The Perfectionism Undertaking, is as a result of that is my perfectionism challenge.
It’s your perfectionism challenge, and it’s a challenge. And I actually really feel like in, I wanna say in 2022, as I’ve been reviewing issues just lately, like I actually went right into a considered now I’m profitable, I have to act like I’ve all of it collectively, which is absolutely attention-grabbing as a result of I used to be nonetheless documenting, however I might see, particularly as a result of I achieved a stage of success. After which I used to be additionally struggling on the identical time, which may be very regular.
Like that’s entrepreneurship that you simply’ll be succeeding and on the identical time having issues to work on. That’s not an irregular drawback. That’s not an indication that I’m making a mistake or something like that, that my perfectionist mind made me, or not made me, my perfectionist mind produced ideas that I now primarily like have to, I would like to love be in this sort of knowledgeable mode, regardless that I’ve by no means resonated with being in that.
And all of the lecturers I actually love, like my coach, my mentors that I’ve, they’re all individuals who doc their very own pondering, their very own journey, they usually share from their experience and doc as nicely from a spot of experience, however they’re very a lot in a learner’s mindset, newbie’s mindset, progress mindset. Like Tim Ferriss is such instance together with his podcast that I’ve all the time liked as a result of he’s simply so like documenting his personal curiosity and like all of the issues, and he’s such an knowledgeable. And likewise Stacey Bayman, my coach does that as nicely, Brooke Castillo, now Brooke Hicks with the Life Coach Faculty podcast, which is the teaching faculty I’m licensed with, does that as nicely so superbly.
Like I simply am obsessive about anybody who’s keen to share the ins and outs whereas additionally main on the identical time. And so I simply really feel so able to step totally into that. I’ve already been in that, however like actually proudly owning that I can share all of the issues.
I don’t must share all the things. I can share what I really feel comfy with sharing, however I can share something and it will likely be so useful for you if I really feel compelled to share it from a spot of that is gonna be so useful. So with that stated, welcome to the replace for October.
I’ve no notes. I’ve my expertise and self-trust, however I’ve no notes and I’ve my energy planning. So my energy planning is absolutely going to be the information for me as a result of after I used to do these month-to-month episodes, I hadn’t discovered energy planning but.
And so I needed to type of like jog my reminiscence. I’m positive I recorded many simply high of thoughts, however I didn’t have a solution to actually get an perception into what was happening in my mind the best way that I do with energy planning. So energy planning is how I handle my time.
It’s how I handle my thoughts and it’s how I actually see what’s going on in my perfectionist mind as a result of my actions inform a narrative. And after I see that specified by my calendar, I can inform a lot extra simply what that story is, have a lot extra consciousness over that story, shift that story within the second as a result of I’m seeing it play out by means of my actions. Like I’m seeing my perfectionist ideas play out in actual time by means of my actions, by means of the steps of energy planning, my energy hour, my little tweaks, my weekly assessment.
All of them telling a narrative about what’s going on for me and the straightforward shifts I have to make to develop my enterprise. So I’m obsessive about energy planning, clearly. I created it out of want for myself.
I share it with our PGSDers and educate it in there. So my energy planning is my information for this episode. I’ve received it open on my pc in entrance of me.
Should you wanna image me, I’m sitting in my workplace on my chair, I’m searching the window proper now. It’s a stupendous sunny day. We’re, are we in summer season right here in Brisbane? I’m making an attempt to suppose.
No, we’re technically nonetheless in spring, however it’s sizzling right here. It’s type of like, I describe it as like, in the event you don’t know Brisbane, which you won’t. So nearly all our PGSDers are within the US, many are in different international locations too, however it’s type of like LA or Miami type of climate.
Similar to we all the time have stunning climate. It’s nearly all the time sunny. We do get large summer season storms within the afternoon, however prefer it’s a stupendous place to dwell.
So anyway, I’m searching. We dwell on acreage in any respect the bushes and the greenery. I’ve my, I’ve my water bottle.
I’ve my laptop computer. So I’ve a two display screen state of affairs. I’ve my large display screen.
Extremely suggest, by the best way, from a productiveness standpoint, in case you are working off one display screen and even like facet be aware, we’ve been watching, what did we simply watch? The Diplomat, fourth season on Netflix. We simply completed that, which was actually good. But in addition any reveals like Fits or something like that, the place there are like excessive powered professionals working from a small laptop computer.
I’m simply pondering like, what are you doing? You want all of the screens. Prefer it’s, I like, I discovered this from my accounting job, simply having a number of screens. You’ll be able to simply get an affordable one.
Doesn’t must be like, I’ve a MacBook. This isn’t actually a tangent, however I’m trusting you’ll get pleasure from it. I’ve a MacBook Air and I’ve like an Asus, monitor sitting on a, I’ve had it sitting on like magazines or various things at totally different factors, like books, however it’s sitting on just a little small field.
So it’s at top. So I don’t must criminal my neck all day. My laptop computer can also be sitting up on a stand, which is up on a field.
So all the things’s at eye top. One other facet be aware, get your self an ergonomic setup. Should you can, relying the place you’re working, I used to only be like working from my laptop computer on the prepare on my lap.
So like there’s no situation with no matter you’ve received. However in case you are working at a desk and also you’re hunched over at a laptop computer, get your self just a little laptop computer stand, get your self a monitor, might be actually cheap. Doesn’t must be Apple or something like that.
You get a plug that plugs it in and you’ll have two totally different screens and identical to have a number of issues open as an alternative of like always switching between tabs. I’m hardly ever switching backwards and forwards between tabs as a result of I simply have a few issues open, which takes constraint and self-discipline, however I’ve a few issues open they usually’re all open directly. And that’s only a quite simple solution to be more practical and attain extra in the identical period of time.
So anyway, I’ve my energy planning up on my large display screen, which is the display screen in entrance of me. My laptop computer is the display screen to the suitable of me. And I’m simply scrolling by means of and I can simply see from my shade coding on my energy planning as nicely, like what the vibe was for every of the weeks of October, which can also be like, I did accomplish loads in October.
We up to date the entire onboarding inside PGSD. We simplified down the curriculum in PGSD. We modified how we do the teaching name.
So it’s even higher. Like we’ve made fairly a couple of modifications so I might see the primary month of October. Most of my enterprise time was going to that.
I’m, I assume like replace or like since that is the primary certainly one of these and I’m simply gonna assume like this sort of episode isn’t for everybody, however it ought to be as a result of they’re the perfect. However I’m going to only offer you a little bit of an replace on like what my present life-style is like, if you’ll. I’m a twin mother of 4 below six.
Lydia’s 5, Jack and James is three, turning 4 in Feb. And Liam or Lily as we name him is eighteen months previous. And I’m presently working 4 days per week.
And I’ll speak about that quickly as a result of that has been impacting my effectiveness. Mainly I’ve had an excessive amount of time, which is a counterintuitive factor to say as a result of 4 work days just isn’t technically like a full-time work time, however it’s an excessive amount of for me. So in the best way that like, I’ll speak about it on this, however my mind needs to fill the time.
Then like, I don’t want that a lot time. I work higher with a smaller period of time. So that’s my setup.
And what else do that you must learn about that? It’ll all unfold. In order I’m scrolling by means of my energy planning, I’m, by the best way, by the best way, I’m instructing a dwell energy planning workshop on it’ll be Thursday night, US time, Friday morning, Australian time. And you’ll go to, it’ll be in, we’ll put it within the present notes, the hyperlink to go join the workshop.
However in the event you wanna be energy planning, which you do, then you definately wanna be taught it from me dwell and I’m gonna be instructing it, which I’m actually enthusiastic about. So it’s primarily gonna be like a dwell podcast episode, however even higher. And I really need you to be there.
You actually wanna be there. So go to, it ought to be samlaurabrown.com/workshop to go enroll, be a part of me dwell. There will even be a replay recording out there for a restricted time after in the event you can’t be dwell.
So go and enroll, simply hit pause, go enroll, then come again. It’ll take you 30 seconds. I actually can’t overstate how highly effective energy planning is for me.
A part of the way it’s known as energy planning, that’s the title I simply naturally wrote in my first time that I used to be doing energy planning. I known as it that in my very own calendar. I really feel my greatest after I really feel highly effective in my enterprise and energy planning is how I faucet into that.
And I will likely be speaking about it loads as a result of it’s so important to how I run my enterprise as somebody with a perfectionist mind that desires to do all of the issues and may’ve, my mind simply tells me we must always do all of it. We must always’ve had all of it performed ages in the past. Simply all of these perfectionist thought errors we are able to have that simply derail us and have us doing busy work and procrastinating and overthinking.
My mind produces them too. Energy planning is the factor that grounds me. It permits me to mentally swap off.
It permits me to perform loads in a small period of time and hold issues off my plate. It’s not about simply all the things in your to-do checklist put all of it in your calendar. You truly have to refine down so that you’re solely doing all your needle movers.
So anyway, I’m instructing energy planning in that workshop. Instructing it dwell is gonna be insanely beneficial. So get your self there.
It’s gonna be so good. Okay, so let me simply, let me take you again to October. So October for me was a month that, and I assume that is different context.
I’m in a mastermind, which I am keen on known as 200K Mastermind. It’s led by Stacey Boehman. And I’ve been in her mastermind at varied occasions since I signed up for the primary time for it in 2021.
I’ve been listening to her podcast since 2019. And I joined the mastermind and I simply love her strategy to enterprise. It’s so aligned with what I actually deeply consider by which is basically the facility of your mind.
Like just like the essay technique and issues like that. But in addition identical to your ideas are so influential on the subject of creating your outcomes. And our mind needs to be like, it’s technique, however like having the ability to have a coach that retains bringing me again to love, it’s your pondering and fixing for that with out being all or nothing about it and like nothing else issues.
However actually like while you get the ideas in place, the motion follows the thought. So just like the technique is the motion. So the technique follows the pondering and a method with poor pondering behind it isn’t gonna be efficient.
Like your pondering is so highly effective, you’re so highly effective. So like each time I take heed to her, I simply really feel extra like me. And that is one thing that’s actually come up for me over the previous couple of months is like, I solely wanna eat issues that assist me really feel extra like myself.
And that doesn’t imply they don’t problem me as a result of it’s difficult to be extra me. It feels simpler to only attempt to be another person that appears like the simple factor to do. It feels tougher to personal like who I actually am and what I actually wanna do.
However I actually simply wanna eat issues that when it comes to content material or classes and no matter, that assist me really feel extra empowered. And I hope that is that for you as nicely in PGSE that you simply really feel extra like your self and you’ve got the braveness to be extra of you moderately than listening to issues which are telling me consciously or unconsciously, like expressly or in an implicit means that I ought to be somebody apart from I’m. I ought to do one thing that I don’t wanna be doing.
Once more, it’s not about not being challenged. It’s actually difficult to develop. I simply thought I’d say it in a different way.
It’s difficult to, it’s the most difficult factor to let issues be simple, to be extra me, to consider that it’s sufficient as I’d need to do it after which to only resolve for that and get it working. Like that’s the work. So I’m in Stacey’s Mastermind, 200K, adore it.
And what we have been doing in that in October was the income problem, which is setting a income objective for a 30-day interval after which going after that objective. And for me, oh my God, it was so good. I like a container, and this is the reason I’ve liked launching as nicely, is it offers you, as an alternative of getting this countless interval of promoting that it’s actually exhausting to know when to guage and also you’ve received to have a extremely, like analysis is so essential.
And in the event you’re simply endlessly promoting and like say, for instance, and we’ve a variety of PGSDs on this state of affairs. So if that’s you, take heed to this. And I’ve already talked about this in PGSD, however in the event you haven’t obtained this, let your self obtain it now, that in the event you have been simply say, for instance, you might have a service that you simply promote and it’s all the time out there and also you’re posting content material to promote it, which you even be desirous to be desirous about, like there’s advertising and marketing, like your entire advertising and marketing alone with out having some type of gross sales mechanism or occasion.
And I’m not saying it’s important to do like a webinar or something like that. And we’ve every kind of entrepreneurs in PGSD, however generally our perfectionist mind goes into this kind of like our advertising and marketing ought to be doing all of the promoting for us as an alternative of like what actually occurred for me in my enterprise is I discovered to begin with, like methods to even simply submit something and do this. And like studying advertising and marketing and methods to market persistently was the very first thing I wanted to be taught.
Promoting simply felt so scary and having one thing on the market and the possibility of refund requests and all of that. After which as I continued on, I began having one thing on the market, however I used to be making an attempt to do this with out truly promoting and with out having a means for folks to, and I’m making an attempt to think about methods to clarify this and desirous about the place you’re at, possibly when it comes to your enterprise data, however principally it must be simply greater than content material. And I say that from a spot of, for instance, I had a shopper who was posting on Instagram.
She’s having a variety of drama about posting on tales, posting on her feed and promoting her providers. She is a coach. And what I used to be telling her is like, you additionally have to have, such as you used to do occasions, however then you definately stopped them.
Like that you must have a means for folks to actually additionally get a style and never say you’ll be able to’t promote instantly off Instagram or something like that. I’ve offered loads instantly from my podcast, however the best way I’ve offered from my podcast is basically doing a gross sales occasion on the podcast doing the 5 half collection. So possibly in the event you’re not making gross sales, identical to take a look at that.
I do that work presently with my personal purchasers. I’m totally booked, however I hope sooner or later to be having extra spots out there so I will help extra folks with what comes after you’re taking persistently, sorry, what comes after you’re taking constant motion is having the ability to make constant gross sales and getting out of your personal means and the perfectionist ideas that cease us from persistently promoting. I like that work with my personal purchasers that I do.
So anyway, why was I speaking about that? Okay, so with the income problem. In order that, I like having a container and launching is an instance of that, the place you might have simply principally a time frame the place you’re speaking about what you might have on the market extra intensely, and also you may need some type of incentive to enroll that you simply don’t essentially must have one, however only a extra condensed, like a marketing campaign, a promotion, like some type of extra intense time of speaking about what you’re doing and alluring folks in powerfully to enroll or purchase or no matter it’s, like get what you’re saying. So I like that as a result of it simply is a mirror.
I like energy planning because of this. It’s the container of per week that’s, it mirrors again. And while you do your weekly assessment on the finish of the week, you see what’s happening.
Whereas in the event you’re simply working from an countless to-do checklist, there’s by no means that reflection level that comes up. You simply hold making an attempt tougher to be motivated, beating your self up. When actually like having that container of constructing a plan for the week, powering your self up, like shifting your ideas to comply with by means of with the plan, but additionally planning in a means that’s simpler to comply with by means of with, then working off the overwhelming to-do checklist or the overpacked calendar, after which finding out your self on the finish of the week to get the insights, so good.
So anyway, income problem this final month was such like a container to actually witness myself. And it was irritating in the easiest way. And facet be aware, I can say this with a PGSD objective, I wanna do an episode about ache with out disgrace as a result of it was actually painful, however I broke freed from the disgrace round it.
After which I might simply truly see what was happening for me. And now I’m simply fixing it. And it feels so matter of truth, however I like one of many large breakthroughs for me within the month, there are a couple of.
So let me simply undergo them high of thoughts. Primary was simply noticing myself chopping and altering, like having a plan, feeling actually enthusiastic about it, doing it for a little or no bit. After which if I didn’t get quick indicators that it was working, that I went, okay, that’s not it, it must be one thing else.
And that’s not it, it must be one thing else. And I did that about 4 occasions. So I had like one type of theme per week the place I used to be doing various things.
And I simply from this income problem and like having that container of the month, I observed that I simply witnessed myself in such an unimaginable means, how I didn’t need it to be simple. I didn’t wanna consider I knew what I used to be doing. And after I’d decide, I simply went again on the choice.
And it felt good to do this, which was so fascinating. Prefer it smelt, it smelt, no, it felt good. I’ve numerous little youngsters, so we’re all of the potty stuff.
I’m simply, anyway, not gonna return into what that sentence was gonna be if I received it improper. However with, it simply, it felt good to alter my plan, proper? You get this. It feels good to be undecided.
It feels good to return to analysis. It feels good to be taught once more. It appears like all of that feels so good.
I felt so good for a lot of October. And I didn’t, I didn’t after I noticed what I used to be doing, I used to be like, oh, I’m identical to, I’m not proudly owning that I do know what I’m doing and letting it’s simple. And I believe for me simply actually being in, and I used to be teaching on this yesterday on the teaching name.
Should you’re a PGSDer, take heed to the teaching name that we did this week on, it’s known as like, what was it known as? Did I title it? Whenever you’re not making progress and like concern of success was what it was actually about. So good. Everybody was like nodding alongside, be like, that is so superb.
So take heed to that on the personal podcast. However I really feel like popping out of a difficult interval in my enterprise, I’ve simply been on this like wrestle id that like, I’m a struggler now once more. It’s like actually, it’s actually fascinating to only, I believe as a result of additionally I didn’t ever totally normalize the success I did accomplish.
And so then it felt so uncomfortable that I went again to struggling. And even after I was succeeding, I nonetheless was in a variety of ideas of, I don’t know what I’m doing. I like, it’s not working, regardless that it was working higher than it ever had.
And objectively, I used to be very profitable. However internally with my perfectionist mind being like, however that is the place you would be. Like I simply wasn’t, I wasn’t proudly owning that I knew what I used to be doing and I used to be doing it extremely nicely.
Like I used to be killing it. I nonetheless am. And that has been like, I received peer teaching right this moment with out within the grasp, like, oh, like I haven’t been proudly owning it.
And it has felt extra uncomfortable to personal what I’ve achieved and who I’m than to be in this sort of like fake wrestle. The wrestle has felt so actual. Like, let me be clear.
The wrestle hasn’t felt fake, however it’s additionally type of been like this manufactured wrestle in a way, simply out of like consolation and familiarity. And there’s like id stuff. I really feel prefer it’s actually id stuff in PGSD.
I used to be recommending this to a PGSDer the opposite day in Ask a Coach, the self-image module. Seek for self-image in PGSD to get all the teachings on this, as a result of it’s so essential the way you view your self. And simply actually getting for me that I do know what I’m doing.
This has been the fixed epiphany I’ve had in the previous couple of years, however then I haven’t, I imply, I’ve had a variety of progress with it, however it hasn’t totally clicked. And I really feel like right this moment it has clicked. And from this peer teaching name as nicely, she was like, what are you on about? Like this, you’re clearly very profitable.
Like, what do you imply you don’t know what you’re doing? However I had a really, I had case I might put ahead of right here’s how I don’t know. However, oh, right here’s all of the proof. However actually with this month, simply seeing myself drop and alter.
After which additionally, so Neha who works for me, I used to be reviewing, like she paperwork what she does along with her time, identical means that I do. And I used to be reviewing like, the place has her time gone? I used to be like, oh, like a lot of her time this month and lots of months has gone to love undoing the choice that was made or like going and making a brand new choice and like type of like doing a variety of rework and a variety of, and it’s to not say in entrepreneurship that isn’t like, you do want to alter stuff and all of that. However a variety of it, it wasn’t constructive change.
It was me not wanting to stay with the choice due to an emotion and an id. And so then us needing to do it time and again and feeling so good and like, yeah, I’m figuring it out. However like, I’ve it discovered sufficiently when it comes to the income objective I’m working in the direction of, which is, and that is additionally I’ve been noticing myself wavering on it.
My subsequent objective, my subsequent like main milestone is 600K income. That’s my highest income yr that I’ve had and I wanna return to that stage. And I have already got the talents and I do know what I’m doing to get there.
And it’s to not say I don’t have new expertise to develop as a result of I do, but additionally I can simply do what I do know to do and get again to that income. And I actually deeply consider that as a result of not solely that, all through this entire interval of constructing my enterprise, I’ve solely gotten extra expert. I perceive myself in such a deeper means.
I’m in a position to shift my pondering a lot extra powerfully. I’m extra highly effective as a coach, as an entrepreneur. Like I’ve gotten extra expert.
So I’m not identical to returning to love previous issues. I’m extra expert, however I have already got all of the elements. However even this month, my mind went into like, okay, I’ve received to be taught.
I’ve received to be taught like all of the, I used to be saying to Steve, like I’ve simply realized like I’ve received to be taught extra expertise. And he’s like, I don’t know what you imply as a result of I don’t suppose that’s true. Such as you’re not proudly owning that you’ve expertise.
I’m like, no, no, no, you don’t get it. I have to be taught emails. I have to be taught.
And like, sure, I can enhance my expertise in these issues, however not from a spot of not proudly owning that I have already got a variety of expertise. So this has been just like the breakthrough time and again that I’ve saved having is like, I do know what I’m doing. After which I’m going into, wait, no, I don’t know.
Actually only a thought error, like a thought behavior, and I actually consider it’s id associated and simply it feeling extra comfy to be in this sort of like wrestle id round my enterprise than to be within the in an id of I’m succeeding in enterprise. And factually, it was so good, the peer teaching name right this moment, I had, I put it within the self-coaching mannequin within the whiteboard, like I ready for the teaching, I self-coached to the place I might get to after which offered my self-coaching. And I had in my mannequin, the circumstances of my enterprise.
And like, it’s so clear after I did that, like that my thought is a thought error that I used to be sharing about, which I awakened, possibly I’ll share about that within the subsequent one which’s on November, um, trigger I’m in November recording this, however the thought error that I used to be engaged on right this moment, the perfectionist or nothing thought that was having me primarily undergo the motions with one thing I’m engaged on as an alternative of powerfully doing it and being determined and transferring on that it’s clear that I do know what I’m doing. And he or she was identical to, this is mindless to me that you simply’re pondering the way you’re pondering. I’m like, okay, thanks.
Um, in order that was actually useful. At all times so useful to have your mind checked out. We do this on a regular basis in PGSD as a result of we are able to simply be our ideas really feel like details, however don’t consider all the things you suppose.
So, and generally you simply want somebody to be like, Hey, that’s not true. I’m like, what it’s like, no, right here’s why I’m like to actually shift your perspective. In order that was tremendous useful, however I observed myself going into this good feeling thought.
So attention-grabbing. I really feel good after I’m self-sabotaging getting my means, my perfectionist ideas really feel good. So I felt good to maintain altering my plans.
I felt good after I was studying. Okay. Let me be taught extra about webinars, which I wished.
Like I used to be like, I’m going to do a webinar. After which I used to be like, no, I’m going to do a podcast. No, I’m going to love, I used to be simply chopping and altering.
And I might see it so clearly in my energy planning that I’d additionally as nicely in my week, like be working actually exhausting on one thing as much as the Friday afternoon, my final work day and being like, Oh my God, I want I had extra time. After which the subsequent week on the Tuesday, I simply begin doing one thing fully totally different or I’d like schedule stuff in my work time in a means that was like, I usually wouldn’t do this. And I began filling my work time with different stuff.
I simply observed all of those actually attention-grabbing behaviors arising like these actions of, and there was so many superb breakthroughs that occurred in October. It’s not all or nothing like October was a extremely essential month for me, enterprise clever. I actually reconnected with Instagram.
I do know what I’m doing and emails and identical to there’s fairly a couple of areas within the enterprise. I used to be like, Oh, I can, I do know what I’m doing. Let me simply do it.
And on the identical time, when it comes to gross sales, I simply watched myself chop and alter and chop and alter and never obtain my objective. Not for lack of ability, not for lack of potential, not for lack of anything, besides my perfectionist mind was identical to, no, do one thing else. That’s the good factor to do.
Let’s simply discover the suitable reply. And so I hope listening to me share that, it helps you simply acknowledge, yeah, your perfectionist mind will do this. And the secret is simply to witness it with out judgment and to have a instrument that helps you witness it.
However it is a skillset, studying methods to witness it with out judgment, studying methods to shift it. However in the event you decide it, you received’t be capable of shift it. So judging it, I’m sorry, not judging it, watching it, noticing your self from a spot of curiosity, like, Oh my God, that is so fascinating.
Shifting it and understanding what to shift it to. We educate you that in PGSD and actually having the ability to, to only be onto your self in essentially the most highly effective means and never in a nitpicky means and never in a like, I’ve to get it proper means. Or like as soon as I lastly am onto myself, then I’ll lastly achieve success sufficient and no matter.
It’s like, no, I simply love, I like the, and that is the opposite factor on the finish of the month, I listened again to an episode. I, I really feel like I’m not doing the month justice, however I’m simply trusting that me, trigger it was so, so highly effective for me. I’m simply trusting that me chatting about it like that is actually useful.
However on the finish of the month, I used to be listening to, and type of like received reconnected with a couple of actually essential issues that I, so I listened to, there’s an episode on the generate profits as a life coach podcast, which is my coach Stacey’s podcast, which is superb. So I listened to an episode I’d listened to ages in the past. So one factor to learn about me is, and after I’m like actually working at my greatest, I discover episodes that actually energy me up and like, enable me to suppose in a different way in a useful means.
After which I listened to them time and again and once more, and once more, and I hear one thing new every time. And like, simply trigger I’ve heard one thing as soon as doesn’t imply I do know it like till I’m dwelling in, I don’t comprehend it like this, like there’s understanding the data conceptually. And like, you understand, one thing such as you really comprehend it when somebody from the surface would be capable of inform that, you understand, it simply based mostly in your actions.
And so I anyway have for my coach and some different podcasts, just like the life coach faculty podcast, which I’ve began listening to once more, just like the previous episodes, which was so good. I used to be like, Oh, there’s this episode known as stop or breakthrough that another person within the Chris, it’s an interview of him. I used to be like, I don’t know why I simply have to take heed to that.
Like I would like the message of that as a result of at that time I used to be so annoyed with myself and simply on this, like, I like, what’s going on with me? And I really feel so in a different way now, which is so enjoyable. It’s like lower than per week later. That is solely like 5 days in the past I’m speaking about, however I listened to that and it was on the weekend.
I used to be solo parenting. I simply listened to it whereas Liam was having his nap and the children are watching TV. And I simply was like, I would like this.
I believe this in my mind. And likewise as a result of I used to be doing a promotion for PGSD and the actually fascinating factor I observed was that, so I like chopped and adjusted the plans after which I deliberate and like, it is a crimson flag for me. And I proceeded and I simply love that for me.
And I, I simply love that I can see that. And I’d simply be fascinated. So on the Friday, I knew I used to be going to be solo parenting for the total day, Saturday and Sunday as Steve was working.
After which Monday is our household day. So I didn’t have any work time plan both, however in my mind, I used to be like, and I didn’t energy plan it out. That alone is the signal, like while you’re not energy planning, like, okay, so there’s a cause you’re not wanting to have a look at actuality and like, see what’s happening.
Like, in order that’s all the time a such, such an essential a part of energy planning is even identical to noticing while you don’t need to energy plan that provides you an perception into what’s happening in your mind. So I didn’t energy plan it out. And I simply was like, I’ll simply squeeze it in over the weekend.
Despite the fact that we had two birthday events, like I took the children to 2 birthday events, we had tennis and there simply wasn’t going to be any time for me to actually sit down and do any type of targeted work whereas solo parenting. However nonetheless, my mind was like, no, we are able to squeeze it in. In order that was so fascinating.
After which on the Saturday, in order that was the Friday, the Saturday, I used to be like, what’s going on? Like, I do know that doesn’t work for me. Why am I making an attempt to hurry myself? Why am I pushing by means of it? Let me perceive my pondering that’s having me do this. Like, it’s only a thought I’m having, what’s the thought? So I listened to that episode and it was actually useful.
And there have been so many actual issues I wanted to listen to that after I listened earlier than, I didn’t hear it in the best way I heard it. Then I used to be like, oh my God, sure. And I used to be like, I simply felt like, okay, I have to pay attention.
Trigger that was all about id in that episode. I used to be like, sure, sure, sure, sure. Then I listened to a previous episode I did as a result of they have been speaking about just like the id disaster.
And I used to be like, I’ve performed an episode. It’s in 2020. You’ll be able to seek for it and discover it.
I’ve performed an episode on what to do in an id disaster. Oh my God, I’m so excited. I’m identical to yapping away, stumbling on my phrases.
So I seemed for that episode and I just lately really useful it to certainly one of my personal one-on-one teaching purchasers. And so it was high of thoughts additionally for that cause. I used to be like, let me simply return and pay attention.
And I had such a breakthrough from that. A, as a result of I laid out, as a result of it’s me, proper? It’s like actually me. So the issues I’m saying are efficient for me.
Once more, one other reward for documentation that it was an episode the place I used to be documenting, like right here’s the id disaster I’ve simply gone by means of. And right here’s what labored for me. I used to be like, gold, gold, gold.
Sure, sure, sure. And likewise the primary breakthrough, which I believe is absolutely what broke me by means of is as I used to be listening, I observed, I don’t suppose this manner anymore. And likewise I can simply step again into it.
It’s not like, oh my God, it’s so far-off. However the best way I used to be pondering was I used to be simply so in love, clearly simply from the best way I used to be speaking, regardless that within the episode you’ll be able to inform I’m type of probably decrease power. I’m speaking about one thing that’s actually difficult and I’m popping out the opposite facet.
However I used to be simply so within the thick of the premise of enterprise. I’m in enterprise as a result of I like the non-public progress of it. Oh my God, right here I’m in an id disaster.
In fact I’m. I’m rising a enterprise. I’m rising as an individual.
That is regular and right here’s how I navigate it. I used to be actually on this mindset of I like private growth and that’s why I’m in enterprise. And that’s the factor I like about enterprise.
And it’s the factor I like about entrepreneurs is it brings up the entire private growth that you must do. And I like enterprise and I like understanding the mechanics of it and methods to construct a enterprise and all of that. I’m nerdy about enterprise in and of itself.
And likewise I like enterprise. Once I began my weblog, it introduced up all my perfectionism that I wanted to work on that had simply been mendacity dormant. It had been very lively, arising as a scholar in my accounting job.
Truly at that cut-off date, I hadn’t been in my accounting job, however it positively got here up there. Within the jobs that I had, it for positive got here up. Nonetheless, the enterprise was the magnifying glass and I couldn’t unsee the issue.
And I didn’t know the issue at first. I assumed it was a motivation drawback. I had to determine what the issue even was earlier than I might even start to sort out it, as an alternative of misdiagnosing it.
And as soon as I noticed it’s perfectionism, okay, now what do I do about that? Oh, I’ve received to determine that out as a result of all of the stuff I’m making an attempt that individuals say about perfectionism isn’t useful. And I’m going to review myself and I’m going to determine this out. And I like private growth.
I began my weblog with the subject of private growth. That’s how I started as a private growth blogger and having a enterprise. And so then it was me documenting how I’m rising my enterprise as somebody who’s obsessive about the non-public growth facet of enterprise and in addition enjoys enterprise.
However that episode I listened again to, I actually simply felt so reconnected to my love of private growth and like, oh yeah, all this expertise I’ve had this month is private growth is my private progress is like, it’s all regular. And I was delighted to witness it. And I used to be simply had gotten into this mindset all through, and like shifted how I used to be pondering.
So I used to be pondering extra like I shouldn’t, nearly like I shouldn’t be struggling anymore as an alternative of like, oh, that is the half I like is like noticing, getting in my very own means, getting again out of it, noticing a brand new means that I’m doing it, figuring that out. Like, I like that. I like documenting it.
Additionally a part of why I need to do these once more is after I’m doing it month-to-month, I simply naturally discovered like, I wished to have one thing to speak about in my month-to-month, they was known as the non-public progress replace. I wished to have one thing to speak about. So I used to be actually actively personally rising.
I used to be difficult my pondering. I used to be like actually asking myself to rise to the event and simply having that like container of a month-to-month um, documenting. And I believe I used to be going to say this earlier than, however I didn’t find yourself saying it’s that with the perfectionism challenge and like, that is my perfectionism challenge and documenting the persistence logs that we’ve in PGSD is the way you doc your personal perfectionism challenge.
And I hadn’t realized that till a few days in the past. I used to be like, ah, this is the reason that’s such a cool piece of PGSD fully non-compulsory to do it with everybody within the PGSD group and to share it. However so lots of our PGSEs love that.
And it’s actually like, you’re documenting your personal progress. Like you might have, even yesterday, I used to be saying to one of many PGSDs, like print, like print out your persistence log as a PDF and provides it to speak and or Claude or no matter, and ask it to point out, to love doc all of the progress you’ve made, since you’re not seeing it, however you’ve made it. I can see it as your coach, all of the progress, however like, you’ll be able to simply actually give it your journey by means of the persistence log that you’ve in PGSD and it will likely be in a position to let you know, such as you had a breakthrough round this.
Then you definitely, as an alternative of it taking me 4 hours to write down a publication, now it takes you one hour and also you publish it persistently. And like all of those various things that she simply wasn’t seeing due to a perfectionist thought error, however actually having the ability to doc is such a helpful factor for me that actually has me being progress minded and leaned into the, like having fun with an id disaster. As bizarre as that’s to say, like having fun with the cognitive dissonance that comes from not being the place you need to be but, however seeing the place you would be, however not being there, having fun with that as an alternative of being annoyed by it as a result of it shouldn’t be taking place.
And so I simply actually felt related again in with my love of private growth and the expansion mindset. And I haven’t talked about that time period for some time, however it’s such an undercurrent of all the things. The concept that you could change the expansion mindset, isn’t identical to, are you interested by private growth and skim books about it? It’s like, are you keen to develop by means of making an attempt and failing? Are you keen to actually dwell the mantra of, it’s higher to have tried and failed than to have by no means tried in any respect? Whereas our perfectionist mind is like, it’s higher to not attempt than to fail.
The expansion mindset is, it’s higher to attempt to fail than to not attempt. And it’s one factor to grasp the idea of it. It’s one other factor to dwell it.
However listening to myself discuss, I used to be like, oh, I used to be dwelling that. I used to be delighted about this id disaster that was extremely painful. I didn’t have disgrace about it.
That is that like ache with out disgrace. I didn’t have any disgrace that I’m going by means of an id disaster and that I can see what I would like, however I can’t, I’m not but the me who can get it. I liked that.
And I simply, I’m again in, I really feel like I might simply slip proper again into like, oh yeah, I like that. After which I used to be listening to, this was the subsequent day as a result of I’m my energy planning, I can see, and I don’t have each minute recorded in my energy planning, however I put it as a block. Once I was doing my energy hour this week, I like went again in over the weekend and roughly put in like what occurred over the weekend.
Like after I went out of the home, any like main blocks, it’s primarily like clear relaxation with a couple of issues right here and there, as a result of it’s such a useful instrument to only roughly talking, see what occurred on my non-work days. However I don’t like have my energy planning open on a regular basis on my non-work days. Like I don’t actually open my energy planning in any respect, besides prefer it’s my principal, it’s a instrument for enterprise primarily.
And so I’ve it open on a regular basis after I’m working. However for positive, after I’m doing my energy hour, I roughly put in what I’ve performed in order that I can examine myself in a extremely highly effective means. So the subsequent day I simply, it saved popping into my head, take heed to, and once more, I’ve like a Rolodex of podcast episodes that I’ve listened to many occasions, particularly Brooke Cascio from the like, after I began my weblog, when folks signed up for my e-mail checklist, I emailed everybody again personally.
And I stated like, hello, I like, I need to get to know extra about you. After which I’d say, based mostly on no matter struggles folks had, this was earlier than I had, I used to be teaching, I had something on the market or something. I’d be like, okay, right here’s the episodes of the Life Coach Faculty that you must take heed to.
Take heed to episode 59, it’s this title, take heed to episode 10 is like, I simply level everybody like right here’s the place to go to get the solutions. So I do know her again catalog very nicely, particularly the primary like, I don’t know, 5 years of her podcast at LogTylissa. So I used to be like, there’s an episode known as Passing Via Impartial.
I have to take heed to that. And it simply popped into my head, like take heed to Passing Via Impartial. And so I went and listened to the beginning of that, identical to it’s important to return and take heed to Pure Circumstance first after which take heed to Passing Via Impartial.
So I did that. And just like the breakthroughs I had from these episodes, which primarily have been about methods to expertise simply, as an alternative of like making an attempt to go straight into like positivity, to only be with a circumstance with out language, which is a sophisticated idea. And he or she talks about in these episodes, so you’ll be able to go take heed to them in the event you would, in the event you’d like, however extremely suggest, however it’s a sophisticated idea to be along with your life with out language and with out constructive or detrimental judgment and to only be in your physique and along with your life.
And it was, so I identical to lived for the subsequent couple of days after that on this, like, what wouldn’t it be prefer to be within the second with out language? And it was so highly effective to only be there and never be in a rush to alter. After which from that place, now we’re in November, however I might really feel myself going into additionally, there’s like a lot to repair. Like as soon as I used to be desirous about my work day on Tuesday, there’s a lot to repair and all of this.
After which I used to be like, nicely, no, like I do know what I’m doing. And so this week has been unimaginable. And possibly I’ll let you know extra within the November replace, what I’ve been doing this week, however simply, I really feel like I’ve damaged by means of from the all or nothing.
And that’s been the main factor too. And this is likely one of the key issues that getting coached on a PGSE name your self or listening to another person get coached or getting teaching, ask a coach or studying another person’s teaching and ask a coach. Similar to having all or nothing pondering identified to you as a result of our brains have a extremely exhausting time for ourselves recognizing all or nothing pondering.
I can spot it fairly nicely in myself, although I additionally need assistance with it, however I can spot it fairly nicely as a result of that is what I do for a dwelling and I’ve developed the ability over a decade plus, however our brains actually go into all or nothing pondering very simply. And it feels very factual to take action, however I might simply see how I wished to enter this all or nothing pondering of like, okay, I have to zoom out, create this plan and all. And I used to be like, however no, I truly have to hold operating the enterprise, enhance the issues that want bettering now, even have a long-term plan, maintain all of that.
Prefer it simply went into a way more, prefer it’s not this or that it’s, and, and I’ve actually operated that means this week. It’s been so good. After which lastly, I’ll wrap up by saying that one of many large shifts that got here from that this month, just like the final month, October this week that I’ve applied is shortening my work day and ending at 3.00 PM.
And we usually decide up the children like 4.35, like within the afternoon, Steve and I’ll usually be collectively and do this collectively. And I simply was from a spot of like insufficiency and I have to work extra. And I’d been saying, I’d heard myself saying to folks, like, I’m so glad I’ve full work days now as a result of I can simply get a lot extra performed.
However after I’m at my greatest, my most self-trusting and everybody’s totally different, I’m not saying it’s important to work my work schedule, however for me, and I additionally like human design, I’m a projector, a two, 4 emotional projector in that, which is all about like having numerous, and it’s no shock in the event you, if you understand what I educate with clear relaxation and issues like that, having numerous spaciousness, being well-rested after which simply having a smaller period of time to work, being tremendous efficient with it after which transferring on. And so after I’ve had longer work days, I’ve simply been in an additional work day. I’ve simply been complicating issues as much as make it replenish the time.
And so this week I used to be like, oh, it’d be so good to love as soon as per week end early. I used to be like, I might, that is additionally the self-coaching and difficult you’re pondering, or like we do that on the calls, have your pondering problem and shifted that I used to be like, I might truly, like, I used to do this day by day, each work day pre-kids. Um, however earlier than I had Lydia, I used to be like, I truly labored greatest beginning work within the morning round eight 30 after which working till about two 30.
And after that, like, I don’t really want that point. Once I used to work at a part-time job, it was a day job. So it actually aligned with that tremendous nicely.
I’m going in for my 4 hour shift after I primarily had my regular work day. Um, I didn’t want until 5. I didn’t want like when my perfectionist mind thinks I would like until 10 PM, however I don’t want a lot time.
And so I’ve been taking part in a variety of tennis this yr and with Steve. And one of many issues that I observed for each of us that we chortle about is that once we’re taking part in and there’s so like a shot will come over and you’ve got like, you’re already completely positioned for it and you’ve got a variety of time to consider it. So say it like comes excessive over the web and you would simply put it away.
As you’d say, like you would simply put it into one of many corners. You’ll be able to place it just like the particular person hitting it isn’t in place to hit a lot again. So it’s simply a type of like photographs the place it’s simply fully prefer it’s given to you and absolutely you’re simply going to nail it.
And I’ve watched so many occasions the place that will occur. And you would see, and I might really feel myself and I might see it taking place for Steve too. We’d go into like, okay, ought to I put it in that nook or that nook? Like simply having a lot time to consider it meant that we’d like put it into the web or hit it out.
Even when it was simply such a straightforward win of a shot. And it’s like having that additional time to suppose and never having like energy planning helps you might have constructive time constraint and actually be capable of not have a lot time that you simply overthink it. Even when your perfectionist mind is like, we want extra time.
Let me, let me throw time on the drawback. And I speak about this within the episode popping out after this one, about being chargeable for your time, about how we like to throw time on the drawback and lack of time just isn’t the issue. Despite the fact that our mind is like, no, it’s like, if I simply have extra time, it could be extra profitable.
So keep tuned for the subsequent episode, if that’s you. However simply once we’d have extra time and like tennis, I adore it a lot for a lot of causes. One of many causes is as a result of in the event you like, you’ll be able to’t be tense, it’s not about, it’s not a recreation of being tense.
It’s not a recreation of being in your head. You’re nonetheless strategic, however actually from a spot of, and I learn a terrific guide known as the inside recreation of tennis, like this relaxed focus. That’s I’d say true of just about each single sport that it’s actually about having, like creating the muscle reminiscence after which trusting your self and never moving into your head when it’s a strain second to then, okay, now it’s a pressuring second.
I’ve to tense up, like noticing for me, like after I’m serving a follow serve, get it in so usually when it’s in a recreation, then I’m like tensing up from a thought that I’ve to get it in. After which I tense, after which it doesn’t go in as a result of I’m tense. The tenseness makes it exit.
So I discover all that so fascinating, the perfect analogies, however simply noticing how I had been actually like tensed up. And after I truly then modified my energy planning to complete at 3 PM and identical to, I actually went, ah, like, sure, like I now have this time to do nothing, see nobody, no calls for on me, and particularly no calls for from me, on me, from myself. I’m essentially the most demanding one.
Even with 4 youngsters, I’m the supply of the demand, the fixed demand. However having that point, and I did an episode just lately on do nothing, see nobody time, having that point and identical to having, I simply know I work greatest with it like that as a result of I’m, and the issues I’ve achieved as nicely, like proper earlier than giving start, like, and winding up earlier than that, like, okay, nicely, I simply, I received to, I’m decisive. I made selections.
I execute them. I transfer on. Like that’s, that’s it.
That’s me in my understanding what I’m doing and being in my highly effective pondering. And so shortening my workday already, I really feel the advantages from that. And simply actually taking accountability was the opposite factor that got here up simply how my mind needs to be like, and actually prefer it’s the 2 sides.
And I speak about this within the subsequent episode that can exit of like feeling like blaming myself a lot from like, it’s all my fault. After which additionally being like, nicely, like, right here’s all these the reason why, and identical to actually not being chargeable for my enterprise and for the enterprise’s cash and for the outcomes I’m creating and like nonetheless being conscious and all of that, however identical to probably not being accountable totally. And so I’ve actually been stepping, like desirous about even simply on my, my non-work time, like, oh, what can I take accountability for proper now that I haven’t been? After which doing that, and it has been the perfect ever.
So a constructive accountability is, and like, I say constructive accountability from the place of like, accountability is constructive and also you don’t get into enterprise to not have accountability. That’s not the sport. And if you’d like freedom, in enterprise, it’s not freedom from accountability.
You’ve got a variety of accountability and it’s important to take accountability or you’ll not succeed. However our perfectionist mind both needs to be all or nothing with that and blame us for all the things and, or not blame ourselves for something. It’s the algorithm.
It’s, I don’t have sufficient time. It’s like, I simply don’t know what I’m doing. Like as an alternative of like, however I do know loads.
So let me simply do what I do know to do after which determine anything I would like to determine. So I actually really feel prefer it was such a painful month in the easiest way. And I simply really feel so reconnected with like, okay, I like this and I can determine it out and I can doc it and discuss overtly about it and simply be me and share it.
And it’s going to be higher than ever. Like now I’ve my energy planning. If I can actually like see myself in a means I hadn’t been in a position to see myself earlier than after I used to do these updates, all types of issues.
I’m simply actually excited to be doing this. So I hope it was useful to listen to. I hope you loved it.
Should you did take a screenshot, share it on Instagram. I’m at perfectionismproject as a result of there will likely be others that you understand, that will discover it actually useful too. Should you did it, then you definately’re related with different individuals who would love it as nicely.
However regardless, I hope you might have been nodding alongside, being like, oh my God, sure. I simply, I simply hope it’s been so good. So that’s this episode.
Keep tuned for the subsequent episode about being chargeable for your time, a little bit of robust love in the easiest way. And are available to the workshop on Thursday night, US time. So samlaurabrown.com/workshop, go and join it now.
You’re going to adore it. I’m going to be there dwell. I’m going to be instructing you reside.
It’s simply going to be, in the event you’re getting in your personal means, you need to be energy planning. It’s, it’s the core factor. It’s the core factor that helps that and training and also you get each in PGSD.
And I’m going to show you about energy planning within the workshop. So be a part of me there. And I hope this episode has been extremely useful.
I’ll discuss to you within the subsequent one.
Outro
Should you wrestle to construct your enterprise resulting from procrastination or overthinking, or possibly you retain burning your self out, I need to invite you to hitch my program, Perfectionist Getting Shit Carried out. Inside, I’ll educate you my confirmed course of for getting shit performed as a perfectionist entrepreneur. In case you didn’t know, perfectionists can’t comply with the identical productiveness recommendation as everybody else.
After we do, we get in our personal means. So let me educate you what works inside this system. It’s easy and anybody can be taught.
To enroll right this moment, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. I’ll see you inside.
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